Help, I like a married man!

[YtheSADface]

So, as horrible as this may sound, I wanted some advise. I work with this guy and he's twice my age (probably a little more than that). He's really a bit of an a*$h*&@ when you first meet him, but then he gets to be really nice. He's married, and I'm really starting to fall for him. To be quite honest, I'm not sure how he feels. Sometimes I think he feels the same way and other days, he completely avoids me. So should I just leave the whole situation alone and play hard to get even though I really just want to tell him how I feel? Or should I just make the move?

[Cadence308]

I agree that you should not get involved with this guy because he is married. It can't end well when it doesn't start well. I'm not speaking from my own experiences...it's just not a good idea. Avoid him!

[pangarap18x]

A married man is not ok. They say feelings can never be controlled but you have no other choice. To tell you honestly your situation is a serious one, so you have to make a serious decision. Life is full of tough choices so before it gets deeper, I would suggest for you to leave your job and find another one away from that guy before it’s too late. I know it’s not that easy to find another job now a days but I don’t maybe for you is easy. YOU CAN NOT GET AWAY WITH THAT GUY UNLESS YOU LEAVE HIM!!!! You don’t have to control your feelings towards him just leave him alone, though hard it may seem but that's your only choice. Take it or be burn in HELL!!!

[NW Homey]

Chances are he will only use you until you get too serious. best case senario is he leaves his wife for you and then you will be the one cheated on. If he cheats on this wife he'll cheat on anyone whom he is in a relationship with. Forget him and look for someone more own age that will commit to you without other strings attached. This makes me wonder what kind of a relationship you had with your father. Liking someone twice your age could be a symtem of trying to have a father image in your life. Just a thought.

[Bethany]

Leave it alone, leave him alone. Even if he does like you, don't settle for someone elses's man. You deserve someone who is free to love, like you are. Don't be second best to anyone, including his wife.

 

best case scenario, he cheats on his wife, then you pressure him to choose. He either dumps you like a sack of **** or you become a sack of **** for helping him cheat on his wife.

[miracle29]

Are you kidding me right now? Are you seriously considering messing with another womens man because of a crush?

 

This is ludacris...please think before you act. This guy sounds like trouble just waiting to happen.

 

I don't understand this...I have never wanted someone elses leftovers so its really hard for me to understand this type of thinking. I have had married men hit on me and I just wanted to puke. The thought of him going home kissing his kids or his wife after flirting with me, just tore my stomach up

 

I've always wanted a man for me and only me..if he was taken, I moved on ...because I had more self respect and confidence..then to settle for less. You need to know your worth...don't settle with someone elses man.

 

With all the good looking and sexy older single men ...who wants someone else's man? But maybe thats just me and how I think.

 

I am sure you are pretty and sexy enough to get a man who can be all yours and not use you for the moment. Don't be a statistic.

[Skippy]

Errhh.. ar eyou hearing yourself??

Think of the principles, think character.

Even thinking about this is bad.. but really considering this.. woman .. that is LOW...

Do your really think that lowly of yourself? Where is your principles. What kind of character do you have... i hope that you dont think yourself a a slag.

Come On!! you are young, you are better then that.

Stop thinking about yourself, he has a family. leave it alone.

[miracle29]

If this man can't take his own Vows serious...why would he take you serious. YOu would be just a lay..to him..if that. And then what do you have to hold him with...just sex? Thats shallow and demeaning...and sadly the female always loses in this case. I should know..I have a good friend who just got dropped on her butt.

 

She wanted more from him and he kept claiming that he'd leave his wife...and after months of "My wifes such a "B****" or "My wife this my wife that" ..she thought he was going to leave his wife. Sadly she got a rude awakening when she told him "choose wifey or me" HE CHOSE WIFEY.

 

 

She got mad and called the wife (no im serious) and the wife said "I don't believe you" and hung up on her.

Man what an * * * he made out of her. Or should I say she made out of herself.

[heavensent]

STAY AWAY!!! He's Married...how would you feel if you were married and some girl at your husband's work was trying to get with your man? It's morally wrong, and you need to leave him alone. If and when he gets a divorce is the only time he is fair-game. Right now, he's taken!

[zpivat]

Forget it.

[yeawutever]

Lol, woah, is this a sour joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll get nothing but problem out fo it, he's marry and you should not get involve, leave him alone. The wife will be more affected than you, if he decides to cheat on her with you. And if he has kids, then it'll be worst. Try finding a single guy who'll be into you, don't look for one who's already taken.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Just one word: N-O.

[YtheSADface]

Thanks for your replies!

[Royltnxile]

That you are even considering "making a move" on a married man tells me some important things that you need to realize about yourself:

 

1. You are lacking in integrity and morals

2. You are selfish and self-absorbed

3. (this is the most serious one) You might have some self-esteem and commitment related issues that cause you to seek out men who are emotionally unavailable in order to have a "psuedo-relationship" with someone "safe". "Safe" as in, a true healthy relationship will never happen with this guy. Why? Because he is marrried and committed to someone else.

 

Another thing to consider - think Kharma, think about how you will feel one day when you are married and some chick hits on your husband at work.

[Lilithdemilo24]

To be alive in 2006 I would like to someday say was really something. But all I see is judging. I wonder if anyone who repid here has ever been in that particular situation? I doubt it. I am actually in pretty much the same situation myself and am hopelessly looking for advice, to see people so angry at the thought of what was mentioned. Do you people not think she maybe feels bad enough? How about some actual adive instead of judging and saying what a "Low point" it is.

 

In answer to your extremely complicated question, you have to sort of leave your body for a moment, pretend you are looking down on yourself from above an see it with a detatched point of view. What are you looking for? What is he looking for? Where will this go? Why will it go there? Who will get hurt? What will it achieve? And so forth. Forget old scruples and whatever else anyone may say, just try to weigh up the odds as best you can and look insde yourself despite how trite that sounds. The decision has already been made subconsciously, so you just have to work through it.

 

For whatever it may mean, I do know what you're going through and I hope whatever decision you make is one that makes YOU happy. The best of luck, Lilith. x x

[xprincessbugx]

Just let this one go. It'd be a stupid decision and you'd only end up regretting it later.

[theantibarbie23]

To be alive in 2006 I would like to someday say was really something. But all I see is judging. I wonder if anyone who repid here has ever been in that particular situation? I doubt it. I am actually in pretty much the same situation myself and am hopelessly looking for advice, to see people so angry at the thought of what was mentioned. Do you people not think she maybe feels bad enough? How about some actual adive instead of judging and saying what a "Low point" it is.

If you don't believe the people on this forum go hang out at link removed and go through the OM/OW forum and see just how much agony most of the OW are in.

 

Being the other woman means one thing: You will ultimately end up hurting someone else or yourself.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Absolutely.

 

Being the *OW* DOES hurt, that's why people should listen in the early stages, DONT get into an affair, and save yourself becoming that *OW*.

 

I've had Other Women/Men before (that is, when I was with someone, and they were MY *Bit On The Side*) and they are rarely happy. They got me, but they got so much other emotional rubbish that I wouldnt take anyone else on as an affair ever again, and I certainly wouldnt BE an affair myself.

 

(Yes..I was very immoral once upon a time. Very.)

[RideTheWave]

Why would you want to set yourself up as this middle-aged man's booty-call? Show some self-respect for Pete's sake!

[votregitan]

Leave it alone. It's not worth it at all.

[votregitan]

Being the other woman means one thing: You will ultimately end up hurting someone else or yourself.

 

 

100% agreed.

[SLMitchell918]

Listen, He is married. And from a point of view from a cheated on wife, don't let it get started.

 

Your playing with fire and only going to end up breaking someones heart and it might be yours.

[HelloMyNameIs]

Hi there. I know this post was from years ago, but, hopefully you are still active, if not that's fine, but it's worth a try. I'm 19 years old, and I met a man at work who is twice my age that I like so much, but... he is married. I know I shouldn't do anything, and I know it's wrong! But damn, I don't know why I like him so much, I just do. Why must it be so hard?? Like I said, I'm 19, and I act like I'm 19, I'm not trying to sound conceited, but I do get hit on by guys when I go out dancing, and partying with my best friend. The thing is, I do talk to a lot of cute guys, but none of them catch a real interest in me like the married man at work. I have had a fair amount of guys ask me out, but I don't care to be involved with them. Honestly, I'm a good girl. I really am, and I hate feeling like this, but feelings can't be helped. I really want to know what you did in your situation (which sounds alot like mine). Thank you...

[Hermes]

I just see good advice being given here, which will save your skin. Is that what you want.....to be someone's "bit on the side". It isn't about him it is about you, and how you feel about yourself.

 

Hermes

[lavenderdove]

This isn't like flirting at a club where you take home some guy you met there.

 

This is man with a family, and a whole lot of people (including kids) who will get hurt if you go thru with this and get caught, and you will get hurt if he just uses you for sex and doesn't want to leave his wife.

 

There are also lots of married men who like to flirt to relieve the boredom of day to day life, but they don't want more, and it could be very awkward if you proposition him at work then he rejects you and you have to see him everyday. It is also NOT appropriate to pursue married guys at work, and might get you fired for sexual harassment. That's a street that runs both ways.

 

So let it go... the world is full of single guys and there is no need to disrupt a famliy or get involved with someone who already has a partner. It will give everyone a low opinion of you, and you don't want that bad reputation in the workplace.