To those wanting death

[aving21]

I read this and it kind of made me confused. IfI could just choose to be happy i would have a long time ago. Depression is a disease not an emotion. It eats away at everything that makes you happy including will. It makes you not want to be happy. Its a constant battle every day and now i just get used to it.

[Dako]

Depression is a disease and the emotions are the symptoms.

If you can deal with it by happy thoughts, it's not the real deal.

You need help, guy. I see at your picture and wonder how you look when life doesn't suck. You seem like a good guy who's truggling to break out of this mess. I'd like you to get better and feel enough joy to outweigh your pain.

[JCAM22]

My heart goes out to all of those feeling depressed and contemplating suicide....I don't know how each individual is feeling but I can offer you some encouraging advice........I was once deeply depressed to the point where it was affecting my employment, my family and friends. I don't know the reasons for everyones depression, but mine was over a girl!! I was depressed for several months and I as well was contemplating ways to end it all....One day I was walking the streets of Manhatten...I was by myself and it was really cold....as I was walking, I noticed all of the homeless people walking the streets with out jackets, shoes, and not a dime in their pocket....I approached one gentleman and decided to have a little conversation with him....I swear to you that he was the happiest man on the face of the earth....I asked myself, if a person with nothing (no family, friends, money, or home) can be happy....why can't I?? I went home that night and evaluated my life.....here I am, very successful, loving family and friends, car and house.....I looked in the mirror and I felt very selfish.... comparing my life (which wasn't bad at all) to this homeless man.....I couldn't believe that he was so much happier than me!!! That's when I came to the realization that Damn, my life isn't that bad....Now today I thank God each and every morning that I have air to breath and a place to go every day........I'm reading some of these posts and it is amazing how many of you are younger than 20 years old....you haven't started your lives....yet you want to end it!! Do whatever it takes to heal yourselves....life is already too short!! Times will change and so will your feelings.....go out and enjoy life!! I live by the phrase "The past is history, The future is a mystery, and the present is GREAT"

I wish you all a happy and healthy road to recovery!!

[becallamjr]

It amazes me how people with circumstantial depression feel they are on the same level as people who are clinically depressed or bipolar. Just because at one point in your life you were depressed does not make you an expert on suicide or depression. You may be able to relate and understand to a point, but not fully because you don't have to live with it every single day of your existence. Not trying to single anyone out, just I have seen so many ignorant posts on here that it sickens me.

[RayKay]

I suffered depression as a teen/young adult. It was triggered mostly by a traumatic event (though there were indications of it before that but it was more mild, and the event sent me into a spin of sorts), but it was something that lasted a handful of years. I also as part of that went through a long experience with anorexia and other eating disorders. I am not sure I was directly suicidal, but I certainly had a base "wish" it would all be over and indirectly delt with it by starving myself...there are some studies that also show anorexia is a way people deal with depression as it alters the serotonin levels/receptors in the brain as well.

 

It is NOT something one can just "will away" when it is true depression. It is not something that will magically cure itself, or that can be changed by "thinking positive". When you are in that situation you can't think positive, and there are actual physiological changes in your brain that prevent you from doing that.

 

It can take a lot of work to "heal" from that, medication and therapy, and it's something that many whom are depressed have a hard time starting because it's hard to see it as a solution when you are so in it.

 

I am all for positive thinking, but a truly depressed person cannot just "positively think" themselves out of it, and it requires a lot of effort, and most often medications and therapy as well.

 

Fortunately for me, after a lot of work, a lot of growth and a better understanding of the root causes of depression and treatments for it, I broke out of that "fog". Several years onward I have had some mildly depressive states however I have not gone back into a depression. I would credit part of this to not only having better "coping skills" now to deal with major issues and stressors in my life (which there have been many since then!), but also a lot to fact that my brain may have "changed" as well - depression is higher in teens and young adults in large part due to the way their brains still are growing/developing.

 

I can say I am fortunate every day I am alive. I had a few friends whom killed themselves as teens, and I can say I feel so much pain for them never having reached where I have in life. I feel so much pain for all they missed out on, and for their families and friends whom survived them.

 

 

Also, I absolutely cannot stand when people say things like "if you have faith" you will be cured. My mother has 'faith' and has advanced cancer. I have had many family members and friends whom had faith, strong faith, and still died. I have had many whom did not 'have faith" and lived. There are definitely circumstances where cancer or other illnesses regress, but it happens to people whom don't 'have faith' either. There are such things as spontaneous remissions. Those whom believe in a higher power will credit that power, those whom don't will credit science, or perhaps just accept it as a great thing. Neither is wrong. And to say that it is about 'faith' to me is saying that someone whom does not believe in God is automatically weak, or perhaps if they are not 'cured' their faith was just not strong enough. I have yet to know someone diagnosed with serious disease that does not fight with all they have, be they believers in any deity or not...if it was simple as "believing in God and taking an Aspirin" please explain to me why God then chooses to only "save" a select few? Please tell me why before many medical advances he "saved" basically none?

[blueangel]

I didn't read all of your replies, but from what I have, you're not really getting what I mean. You might think you do but now I'm going to slow down and explain it. Who knows if I'm right or wrong. Good debate tho, right?

 

Feelings aren't something that do just disappear on their own. They are something activated within us. For example, something that happens to us such as a crush or achievement releases endorphins within ourselves causing us the happy feeling. Or by something we are doing, say exercise, we exert endorphins there and can become happy also.

 

For the average person, this is how it is done. Happiness can be a reaction as much as a choice. When it is down to choices, this alteration in your brain takes time. It starts with actions, with the changing of thought processes. Pills can help us, but they dont allow us to be aware of what is the cause of the depression in our life whether it be lack of fun, a lot of stress or insecurity.

 

There are things we can do for the soul to take care of ourselves, that extends the body and the mind. For some, it is channeling those negative energies to God. For others, it's a walk in the woods with a friend. There are two things we need in life. We need support. We need motivation. Those most motivated are those with others relying on them, when it goes past just living for yourself. No matter what though, it's the environment we place ourselves in and for what purpose that has the most affect. It is our wellbeing in LIFE that has the MOST affect over our moods, our chemical changes. We have to take care of ourselves.

 

You may not feel happy, but you can still DO happy things and you can still give yourself a PURPOSE by finding it- one thing, something you stick to and nothing else matters. We all have this ability whether it just be to see someone else smile. To succeed in something ourselves so others after us may succeed. Anything.

 

I was having a meltdown once and all I kept thinking was, "I hate myself and my life!" I sat down... and I started to change that. I started writing OVER and OVER again the words - "I love myself. I love my life." I did this everyday for a long while. Trust me- it took forever to work, but it certainly opened that door. Soon, flashes and images of happy things in my life would cross my mind. Whispers of God and warmth and unity and purpose filled my ears. I was seeing the light again. It was because I wanted to.

 

NO matter what condition one is under, we all have two choices- to see the good or to not see. There are obstacles, sure. But as long as we have that choice, we have everything to live for and there is always some control.

 

That is what I am saying.

[blueangel]

...And I know

 

I know that some of you are offended by this because you've wanted control your whole life. There's one thing no one else can control and that is how one thinks. That is yours alone.

 

I dont mean to step on toes. I just want to help. Maybe your situation is unique. I don't know anything about that. But if this helps at all, I hope it does.

[melrich]

I know that some of you are offended by this because you've wanted control your whole life.

 

Blueangel, you should read all the replies.

 

This is not the gist of what people are saying. They are offended I am not sure I would use such a strong word) because you are reducing the fate of people suffering serious medical conditions down to a situation of mind over matter.

 

No one denies the power of the mind and positive thought but the fact is but for exceptions you cannot just "think" serious illnesses away. And to say you can is just demeaning to the people that suffer them.

[blueangel]

I didnt mean to do that. I didn't say what I meant very well. But anyhoo- I hope it helped somewhat. To give them HOPE at least during their medical condition. There are things to do to keep fighting. I'm not saying it doesnt really exist.

 

Then again, what DOES? dun dun dunn (I shut up now)

[Outcast-Angel]

when I'm depressed, I decide to take HAPPY actions. When you ACT happy, you THINK happy and if you do this enough, you ARE happy. The best way to do this for yourself, is by doing it for another.

that's a crock. i can act completely happy, and everyone will believe that i am. but inside, all i can think about is the the next time i'll be alone long enough to slit my wrists. when i'll be away from everyone so that i can cry my little heart out. just because something works for you, and/or a few others, doesn't mean that it'll work for everyone. no offense, but your posts have actually made me fairly angry. you make it sound as though anyone who doesn't believe as you do, or succeed where you have is wrong, or they aren't trying hard enough. bravo for you, because you are feeling good about yourself. that's an awsome thing, and your faith in god and yourself is what helps you, that's cool. but i think you need to open your eyes a bit to the fact that not everyone thinks as you do.. and it's not a bad thing that they don't.

[blueangel]

Find a purpose or something fulfillling where you can give to the world. That can do the "happy actions" as a very good oppertunity to.

 

Dont resist. See what you are missing for what it is. ONly then can you see the alternative

[becallamjr]

I understand what you are saying blue, but what do i do for my mania? Since I have no control over it and I don't have any idea of how to gain control of it. The mania makes me feel the worst. So what can I do to make myself "feel happy" after a really * * * *ed up mania episode?

[RayKay]

Find a purpose or something fulfillling where you can give to the world. That can do the "happy actions" as a very good oppertunity to.

 

Dont resist. See what you are missing for what it is. ONly then can you see the alternative

 

But you are assuming that people whom are depressed are not doing these things...people whom are depressed are not necessarily people holed up in their rooms doing nothing.

 

I know personally Outcast Angel above is an amazing person herself, whom is there to help others whom are suicidal, SI, depressed and facing other such traumas. She is there for her family, has her own passions as a great artist, and an athlete, and she has a beautiful soul. She does give to the world....but she still suffers her own struggles.

 

I find it rather disparaging that you tell people to "find a purpose" and assume they don't have one. I don't know how many times one can say that there is a big difference between clinical depression, and acute depression. It's like telling someone whom is Bi Polar II to just "give to the world" and there manic episodes will go away. Or someone missing their legs that if they "give back" their legs will grow back.

 

The problem with mental illness is people are often already scared enough to seek help - they already feel ashamed about all the things they are feeling, are worried about being told it's all in their head.

 

I know you are trying to help, but your replies seem to ignore what people are saying...and telling them in essense "if they were just better people they would not have this problem". And that's just blaming them for their illness, and perpetuating the cycle of fear.

[Moon Goddess]

I have to agree with Outcast-Angel on this one becasue when I'm deppresed I won't think happy thoughts. Basically what your telling suicidals is stop being drama queens and do something better, their are people who are worse than you. But when one is deppressed that thought doesn't come to mind or at least not to me (I'm just gonna speak for myself)

 

Depression is a disease that kills like any other, just that the way it kills is diferent

 

When I'm depressed I can't think of happy thoughts when hapiness seems like a bunch crap. Sure I'll get over it eventually but the desire is strong enough to want to kill myself trust me there is no hapiness. Everyone will have a diferent opinion on this topic but I think these forums are best for helping and maybe that was the intention with the post but I see that people will come to resent it instead of get help bu it. That's just my opinion on this I'm sure their will be those who a agree and those who don't

[Outcast-Angel]

Thank you RayKay, for the lovely compliments, and for explaining this to blueangel better.. and to MG, for adding your opinion, and a further explanation.!^_^

to blueangel, i thought that i should add that it would have been polite to at least read all the replies people have made to your post.. you might want to consider how it makes people feel, knowing that you deemed your time to precious to waste reading their replies to a post you started. granted, maybe you didn't have time to read them all. but you might have mentioned that you were pressed for time if that was the case, or made no mention of the fact that you decided to ignore some posts.

[NJRon]

Or at least actually *listen* to what people are saying. You are entitled to your opinion, but it doesn't seem you actually care to learn anything. Which, as far as I am concerned, pretty well invalidates anything you say concerning this subject.

[blueangel]

You're only defending against one layer of what I've said. You are not seeing the full of it. Please before you reply, look and see if I've already or havent said anything about what you defend. And what I do say, please take notice of the absolute meaning and not just pick up on a few phrases to trash on.

 

I think you're still missing my point. I'm saying that there is still a reason to live no matter what you feel. There's never a justification to be suicidal. Hence the topic- to those wanting death.

 

Being a "better person", gives you MORE reasons to live- that is what I am supplying here. To the overall desire to just give up- I'm saying dont. There are times when you have attacks. Then there are times that you dont. No one person that I know has ever been in never ending pain, every second, in every way so that there is no window of happiness through their soul... for extreme long periods of time... since the moment they were born. There will always be moments of breath.

 

Moments are moments. They can come and go frequently, but they are still moments. Long moments. Short moments. Overall pain is temporary. Yet the pain you feel doesnt make you less human. To some, it DOES make them feel that. I'm saying that despite that, there are things you can do to have a happy LIFE. Overall life. Ways to pick yourself up.

 

I know there are diseases. I understand that. They go deeper than what I've experienced. Pain is a relatable thing to every human nonetheless your unique situation. We know it. It's there. I've witnessed episodes from relatives. I've driven myself insane. I've lingered on without feeling. I've watched someone die. I've watched them in more ways than one. I've seen the long term affects of abuse.

 

Yet, I still say, for EVERYONE there is a light. You can GIVE yourself happiness. A happy LIFE.

 

Support is a very important thing because although no one can feel what you feel unless they are your soul, they can be your light- a way to look outside of yourself and evaluate your situation... not just keep on walking by. Waiting. As many tend to do.

 

Do you know what heaven is to me? It's a state of being where there aren't any time limits and no urges to be or do anything. It's when we slow down to see things. Lay down in the grass and watch the sky, watch how the stream trickles and finding joy in the simple things. Finding LOVE there. To me, THAT defines happiness.

 

At one point or another, we all have that oppertunity. Over and over and over again as the onward motion of life.

 

If you've ever seen the movie, American Beauty, you might recognize this quote. But there is a line at the end... I dont know the words exactly... but the main character states, "I'm now thankful for every little moment of my stupid, pathetic life."

 

I'm thankful. Mostly and directly, I am thankful to my God. I have witnessed so many things. I cant NOT believe in happiness. I personally believe in God which has saved ME from everything. I've seen too much. There's too much out there. There is always something to be done. There is always an adventure waiting somewhere else.

 

Overall, overall, OVERALL- it is your choice and it always has been. To open your heart to that. Condition your perspective to slow down and LOVE. THAT is what is possible. It always will be

[blueangel]

Or at least actually *listen* to what people are saying. You are entitled to your opinion, but it doesn't seem you actually care to learn anything. Which, as far as I am concerned, pretty well invalidates anything you say concerning this subject.

 

I brought this topic up. Until I FEEL everyone should know by now what I mean and that they do, I'm going to keep repeating it. Then, it's up to you to decide what YOU think. Just remember before you defend what I really am saying. What this is meant to be about. All of it.

 

I'm not here to fight against you or to add to you. I'm here to get MY message accross- whatever your interprentation of it may be or even if you are trying to bring out things I missed. I dont think I missed anything. I think I am replying to what you say and already have many ways. You just have to see that.

 

Everything I said is something that IS possible. There are no excuses to kill yourself because of that. Under ANY condition. You can still have a life.

 

The end! Have fun, people

[Mavh25]

i think your post is kinda of true, and yeah your probably right, but do you not think it is wrong to try and push the belief of god onto people as the reason to live?

[blueangel]

i think your post is kinda of true, and yeah your probably right, but do you not think it is wrong to try and push the belief of god onto people as the reason to live?

 

I'm laying it out there. Luckily, I dont care what you think. I am expressing myself!

 

I just wished I had said things a little differently, but I still dont think I'm wrong. I just said it in a way where people took it as a VERY DIFFERENT message. I hope to clear that up.

 

As long as I'm giving you the oppertunity to learn from me and choose to believe what I beileve, I have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Anyways, in the end, if it turns out there is a God, you could thank me. Otherwise, keep shaking your head at me.

[avman]

Ok, that is quite enough from everyone. This topic will be closed if you continue to bicker.

[blueangel]

Blueangel, you should read all the replies.

 

This is not the gist of what people are saying. They are offended I am not sure I would use such a strong word) because you are reducing the fate of people suffering serious medical conditions down to a situation of mind over matter.

 

No one denies the power of the mind and positive thought but the fact is but for exceptions you cannot just "think" serious illnesses away. And to say you can is just demeaning to the people that suffer them.

 

I was speaking generally there. I've been trying to this whole time. To those just wanting to give up and to those who have trouble with their life.

 

Serious illnesses cant be "thought" away but not living under stress certainly helps. It's wanting to DIE and take yourself away from your whole LIFE that can be "thought" away... but only over time

[blueangel]

Ok, that is quite enough from everyone. This topic will be closed if you continue to bicker.

 

I dont think this is bickering. I think what everyone has said is important. A look behind what causes depression and the debates of such as well as solutions is a very interesting topic

[NJRon]

As long as I'm giving you the oppertunity to learn from me and choose to believe what I beileve, I have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Actually, I think that is one of the most condescending things I have seen posted by you, if not by anyone. However, be that as it may, it appears to me that you have a certain view of things and are just incapable of accepting, let alone trying to really understand, other people's views.

 

This thread has essentially degenerated into you saying the same thing over and over. Multiple people have provided their input, while you blithely repeat your dogma.

 

Some of your words may strike a chord with some people. And if it does, then so much the better for it.

 

Good luck.

[Mavh25]

I think your right on some points, like i said. But i think there are also a lot of people infuriated by your post as you seem so blaze about looking at the conditions realistically.

I dont agree with the fact that your saying people can basically pull through a paining mental disorder by faith in god. And although what you said about your friend and the cancer she pulled through was beautiful, surely she relied on more than just God, otherwise, she would not have been in hospital. You just simply cannot expect people to say, "ok, im going to focus on this today because im good at it, and it made me happy and its good" because (correct me if im wrong by all means) i believe that is exactly what the depression supresses, hence it being depression... im kinda lost, maybe i didnt get the whole thing.

But like someone said, you may mean well, but alot of the things you are saying are very demeaning to people who are suffering