Kara Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Guys, question for you. I had anal sex with my bf tonight (yes, let's get right to the point.) We've done it a few times before, with no problems. Takes some getting used to and especially tonight since it had been awhile since we tried it. Well, after it was done he went to the washroom to clean up and I heard him running the sink water for a bit. Didn't think anything of it...thought maybe he was washing off the lube. He came back and asked if I was ok since he could tell it hurt me at first. I said yes and asked "why, am I bleeding?" He said "no..I was just washing the lube off my hands." Alright fine. After he left for the night I went to use the washroom. In the wastecan I noticed some kleenex with...uh...some #2 wiped on it. It had come from me, off of his you-know-what. How embarrassing!!! I've never had this happen before when we've done it and I had just showered up all good an hour before he came over. I'm mortified! He never mentioned it and never acted put off or anything. But my question to the guys who have had experience with anal sex...has this happened to you and did it completely gross you out? Or is it expected when engaging in that act and you just don't think anything of it?? Same Q for guys who HAVEN'T experienced a mess after anal...would this gross you out if it did happen?? I just don't know how I can face him again. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I can understand your embarrassment, but this is your boyfriend here! He's not going to judge you over something like that because seriously, how can he expect it to be 100% clean? You can tell a lot about someone by the way they handle situations. He didn't make a huge deal out of it. That's the mature thing to do, and since he didn't start screaming and stuff, it just shows that he does care about how you feel and didn't want you to be embarrssed. I know it's hard, but I really think you should just relax. Unless he's a jerk, he's not going to run and tell all his friends about it. And the good thing is that he obviously isn't so grossed out that he wants to break up with you. Who knows, maybe he really enjoyed the sex and isn't worried about the "gross" side of it. Try not to think of "what ifs". Don't assume that he's even still thinking about it. I mean, the only reason you can't stop thinking about it is because it happened to you. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I think if a guy would be embarrassed about that, odds are he wouldn't be having anal sex to begin with. When going into something like that I think people probably consider everything that could happen. Personally, I've never had anal and have no interest in it. But if I did, I would be well aware of what could happen. It's not exactly something you like to think about and being embarrassed is understandable. But realize that he is your boyfriend and loves you. He didn't seem bothered by it, so neither should you. Did you enjoy the experience otherwise? That's what matters. Link to comment
Tigris Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 You should be using condoms!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
KieranMc Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Don't worry about this. The same happened to me about a week ago with my girlfriend. She likes how close she feels to me when we do it... personally I could take or leave it. It happens when you use too much Lube hun.. the Lube essentially mixes slightly with you know what and ends up on the item inserted.. in this case his love pencil. This happens from time to time, my girlfriend and I got past it by laughing about it. She felt very embarrassed at first but after comfort she was fine. It's nice that he's trying to save your feelings by not going " WHAT THE HELL IS THAT STUFF ON MA WANG!"... That would be bad... Is normal and happens to the most cleansed of us all. Link to comment
KieranMc Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Also the person that mentioned Condoms is right. I got a nasty infection from it not so long ago and we couldn't have sex for like 2 weeks. Condoms or Nobums. Link to comment
RayKay Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Definitely use condoms. Anal sex is riskier in terms of infections....your tissues are much more delicate, and micro tears will occur, increasing risk of transferring infections. This can be everything from a mild yeast infection, or irritation for either you or him, to something more serious like an E.Coli infection, kidney infection and so forth. Also the risk of transferring STI's is greater. As for the rest, don't worry about it. Lube and semen mixes with whatever is in there at the time and that's the result. It does not always happen, depends on when you last had a bowel movement, and the consistency and so forht. Some women prefer to do enema's before anal sex to reduce the risk result. If he was that worried about it, he would not be practicing anal in the first place! He probably did not make a big deal out of it because it comes with the territory, and because he cares about you. Honestly, I would not worry so much about it, really. He's your boyfriend, he cares about you, and he sounds fine with it, just saving you the embarrassment he thought you might have. So I hope you can face him again, considering he IS your boyfriend! Trust me, most people know sex is not always roses and rainbows Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Yeah, don't get too embarressed about it If he were freaked out by it, he wouldn't be doing anal in the first place. On another note, the mixture of lube and fecal matter is called "santorum" (named after Sen. Rick Santorum). It was given that name by Dan Savage, author of the column Savage Love. Keep spreading the word around!!! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Personally I wouldnt think anything of it because it comes with the territory. As long as you realize that you are increasing your and his risk of infection by engaging in unprotected anal sex. You should know the risks that you are taking. Link to comment
ocrob Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I agree, you have no control of what happens to be stored in that area. I guess if you feel you have something lurking, then you can warn him. lol Link to comment
fishrrshortae Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Uhh.. if he's willing to have anal, I'm sure he's also aware of the potential repercussions. One question though: Why didn't he flush it away?? Link to comment
REDIRECT43 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 OH MY GOD! I came to this board to post this same exact scenario. My bf and I did it just 30 minutes ago and I was mortified. I was coming here to post about it, but you beat me to it. I freaked out, I told him I would understand if he never called me again and he thought I was crazy and being too negative. I'm still freaking out though. Don't worry girl, you're not the only one! Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 dude -(i call girls dude too) i would bring it up. Of couse that's just me. But when I'm embarrassed about something, I just look it square in the eye and ask about it. Get it all out and dealt with. That way it won't be this weird thing that happened that you just don't discuss. Link to comment
REDIRECT43 Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 Me too, Ta Ree. When that happened to me, I talked about it right away. It's not like we could avoid it, we both saw the evidence. My bf knew I was mortified, and he tried to avoid what had happened started talking about the weather, and how we should go get ice cream on a nice day. I was thinkging " * * * HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER WHEN I JUST POOPED ON YOU!" He told me I was too negative and to stop thinking negatively all the time. I want to be reassured, but my god, it was truly mortifying. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I'm sure it was mortifying! I feel for ya. But I have a twisted sense of humour and I would totally call attention to it, the way you just did... HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER WHEN I JUST POOPED ON YOU!" I think if they're OK with the whole deal, its prolly just the way it is and they want you to be OK with it too. No worries. Link to comment
JonnyG Posted April 24, 2006 Share Posted April 24, 2006 I have only done it once and it was totally clean. The girl may have used whats called an enema (basically its inserting water into...well u can guess, to clear it out). I would recommend doing this if u plan to have a anal sex as it really will help with hygiene and of course possiuble future embarrassments (this is what the pornstars will use before doing a scene involving anal). Anyone wanting to do anal should realise that it could become messy at times and if they cant handle it, they shouldnt do it. I know if the problem ever happened to me in the future I wouldnt want to mention it to the girl cause I wouldnt want to make her feel uncomfortable. This is why your bf probably didnt mention it, to be honest he would feel probably nearly as embarrassed as yourself. I honestly dont think u should worry, if he cares about u he will be cool with it. Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 most people know sex is not always roses and rainbows Yeah, sometimes it's poop and kleenex! LOL No, really, what the others have said make sense. It sounds like your boyfriend is mature enough to know "what" could happen during anal sex and wasn't making a big deal out of it because he didn't want to embarrass you. It's not like he's going to be telling this story as a toast at your wedding or anything. It comes with the territory and your anus is an exit not an entrance. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 "HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER WHEN I JUST POOPED ON YOU!" ROFLMAO!! i will never forget that line if i live to be 100. i say to both of you: it's no big. it's already been said that a guy knows he's taking the chance. they were probably more embarrassed than you were, and someday (maybe tomorrow) you will look all back at it and laugh. -one who knows oh, and condoms save lives. even the Pope is starting to realize that. Link to comment
jabele Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 Thank you for sharing your story...and I think its taught us all a really valuable lesson. Always be sure to wipe! Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Always be sure to wipe! emoticon use... ever. almost as memorable as, "HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER WHEN I JUST POOPED ON YOU?" LOL *choke* i so am tempted to put that in my signature. Link to comment
TiredMan Posted April 27, 2006 Share Posted April 27, 2006 Ouch! I don't know how I would react if I saw some of that on me after anal. That is a tough one. Link to comment
somebrunette Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 this same scenario happened to a friend of mine, she was mortified but luckily her boyfriend is a decent guy and was like 'dont worry honey, it is ur anal region, which is used for a purpose, if im going to go pokeing and prodding there , a little of this is to be expected'... i think that was really good of him to have such an attitude towards this embarrasing situation Link to comment
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