why do guys pull this?

[shellie12345]

Hi everyone,

This problem I have will seem pretty typical to you all I suppose...however, I still don't get how guys work!

Ok, I met a guy one night at a bar, he called the next day to see if I wanted to go out for a couple drinks, so i did. The date went well, typical nervousness but all in all, I had a good time. We were supposed to go out dancing but all the bars seemed dead, so we rented a movie and came back to my place to watch it.......my first mistake i guess. We were holding hands and kissing on the walk home, so I thought everything was going well. At my place we fooled around quite a bit and he stayed really late but went home cause he had to get up early. We talked a couple times after and I saw him at a bar a night or two later. Things were great then too, he spent the whole night with me, we danced etc.... had a great time. Then all of a sudden I got nothing for like a week. I saw him again the next week at the same bar, he was doing the same things he was with me that night, only this time he was with another girl. He practically ignored me and was all over someone else. Now, I know we only went on one date and I was not expecting him to be committed to me, but why was he so willing to flat out insult me and end it all before it even began, when i thought he was into me? I was floored! So guys, can you tell me what I did wrong here? I feel like the fooling around part may have been a factor but when I saw him after it was still great....I am so confused! Why do guys pull this sort of thing?

[Venturer]

I don't know... maybe he was already with the other girl before he met you? That's the only reason I can think of as to why he held back when he was with you. Or this guy is a player or just a moron. Not all guys pull this kind of thing, but those that do aren't worth it.

[Day_Walker]

I only thing that you did one thing wrong with this situation and that is that you believed that he had the same inclinations about you that you had about him.

[shellie12345]

I forgot to add in my original post, but you are right, he was dating another girl. He made it seem very casual though and he never brought it up. What I don't get is, if he is seeing someone else why is he willing to take out other girls and fool around with them? The relationship he has with this girl is obviously more serious then he led me to believe, was he waiting to see if I was better, then when I was not, he went back to her? This is so childish and I can't stand it. Its been like a week now since that whole incident occurred, he sent me a friendly message the other day but I barely spoke to him, I just feel so frustrated.....I feel like a fool pretty much.

[chai714]

First things first. GUYS don't pull this. This guy did. We're not all the same.

 

The dating world is an open field. There are no rules, period. Sure it's rude of him to be all over a woman in front of you and it sucks, but the dating world is literally a jungle. I can understand how you could be offended or feel bad though. Shake it off and do it again with someone else.

[lunatic]

First things first. GUYS don't pull this. This guy did. We're not all the same.

 

The dating world is an open field. There are no rules, period. Sure it's rude of him to be all over a woman in front of you and it sucks, but the dating world is literally a jungle. I can understand how you could be offended or feel bad though. Shake it off and do it again with someone else.

 

Thank you Chai for pointing out something that I was going to. NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THIS GUY. Sorry you got played but, you have to remember that he told you he is dating other people and that should have been the first red flag. If this sort of thing happens to you alot then you have to sit down and think about what type of man your looking for and attracting.

 

Sorry you had to learn this lession the hard way but, again Chai is right about the dating scene being a jungle. Think of it like your riding a bike, you fall off and get right back on it. So if this guy is playing you move on and look for someone who will treat you right.

[RayKay]

Not all men "pull this".

 

This is part of dating - finding out some people are not whom they say they are, or are not going to be interested, and so forth. You did know he was dating others so it just turned out your expectations for him did not match up with the reality.

 

It sucks, but it sounds like his interest level was not enough...or that he was more serious with someone else (good lesson to learn not to get involved with someone whom is dating someone else...now some dating around is fine early on if you are both single and unattached, but it sounds like this was more then that...).

 

Learn from it, and move forward. There are too many men out there who won't do this, to let this guy hold you back from getting out there

[pete137]

#1 problem. you are in a bar, these places are like a fresh pile of cow crap, all the flies migrate there and reproduce.

 

"you dont go to taco bell and order lobster"

[shellie12345]

yeah i get what you are all saying. It was like when I was going on the date with him, I knew in the back of my mind that I did not have a good feeling about him. But I went for it anyway, i gave him the benefit of the doubt. I did not end up on top though....that always makes you more frustrated I guess.

[Dating Coach]

You've done nothing wrong other than assume "guys" pull this. As far as this guy, I know you aren't in a committed relationship but I think that it is quite insulting to do what he did. He's a bum. He's worthless. Forget the loser and never talk to him again.

[wlfpack81]

Don't meet guys at bars. There's your dang mistake. End of story.

[Belle]

#1 problem. you are in a bar, these places are like a fresh pile of cow crap, all the flies migrate there and reproduce.

 

that's some funny $#II !! And so very true.