26 F hung up on vacation fling, 29 M, unsure ?

[Keirartt]

Met a really cute guy on hinge in Bali but we matched two days before my departure to my home country. We met up the day before I leave. I did not have any expectations, I just want to have a fun company overseas as I was sick of the small  dating scene back in my country. I didn’t expect to fall for him, he was really sweet , well mannered guy where he would ask me questions about myself and it was a really good banter. Unfortunately  I decided to indulge in wild night of drinking afterwards without having much proper conversation and invited my friends n his friends tagged along to clubs. He and his friends would tell me he’s a shy guy that’s does not have much luck with girls. We did slept together and it really got me ***matized cause he was really passionate and we got cuddly afterwards . Next morning, he kind of said something that stuck with me “ you will never see me again” Uncertain of its meaning, I suggested he visit my country someday, to which he agreed. We had sex again which I initiated before I run to catch my flight. We did still text on Instagram but I got guarded and knew it will not work out so I ended the convo with close ended sentences and he would like my ig story from time to time. Anyway he unmatched me on hinge the day before his flight back to his home country.  I don’t know if I should initiate and text him again on insta? 

[Wiseman2]

32 minutes ago, Keirartt said:

 . Next morning, he kind of said something that stuck with me “ you will never see me again” Uncertain of its meaning, I suggested he visit my country someday, to which he agreed. 

Please to try to view this as a fun adventure and fling 

 Unfortunately he's being realistic about not seeing each other again. Having fun and a good connection is fine as long as you keep things in perspective.

[Batya33]

He told you he won't be seeing you again. It's a vacation fling. I'd move on and know that obviously someone who wants a chance to see you again would never ever say such a thing.  You knew the risks going on, you acted in a very unsafe way choosing to get drunk like that around complete strangers in  a foreign country so consider yourself lucky that it was a fun fling with fun memories (and hopefully no STDs!)

[Andrina]

50 minutes ago, Keirartt said:

I did not have any expectations, I just want to have a fun company overseas as I was sick of the small  dating scene back in my country.

No matter where you go, where large groups gather, it's common to find at least one person in a crowd that you find attractive and if you happen to speak to them, find that you have chemistry. 

Unfortunately, with long distance logistics, these brief unions have an extremely high failure rate. Not the normal pace of dating. Too expensive. Takes too long to see the reality of a person. The list goes on.

If you live in a town with such a small dating pool, have you considered relocating to a more bustling city in your country where you can have a better dating life? That'd be a better plan than trying to get something serious going with this guy who clearly hasn't shown the same interest in retaining a connection with you.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Keirartt said:

 I don’t know if I should initiate and text him again on insta? 

What's the point, really?

It doesn't sound like you two live anywhere near each other, so dating is out of the question. Unless you're looking for a digital pen-pal, there's not much sense in trying to keep in touch. 

[kim42]

How far do you live from each other? If you want to see him again, you should ask him if he wants to see you again too.

[Jaunty]

Just be aware that if you try to keep something going, it's extremely unlikely to develop further than a LDR where you might see each other for a fun sexy romp in an exotic location now and then.  Since you are hung up on him now, after only a couple of days of knowing him and some fun drunk sex, I'm concerned that you will not be ok with that.

[rainbowsandroses]

I agree with others who advised Let This Go.

I mean could he have been any more clear when he said "you won't be seeing me again" and then unmatching you? 

I'm all for women initiating but you've got to use common sense too - he's not interested.

3 hours ago, Keirartt said:

He and his friends would tell me he’s a shy guy that’s does not have much luck with girls.

3 hours ago, Keirartt said:

We did slept together and it really got me ***matized cause he was really passionate and we got cuddly afterwards .

^^Oh brother... 🙄

He's shy and doesn't have much luck with girls? Lol

Yet somehow he got you into bed, was really passionate (translation: good in bed) after which he announces you won't be seeing him again? 

Not buying it, you got played.

Please don't believe that "I'm shy/no luck with girls" bit, it's a player's line; a truly shy guy with no luck with girls wouldn't say this OR behave this way.  

He (and his friends/wingmen) knew exactly what they were doing, lesson learned for next time. 

Cherish the memory and try to not give him a second thought. 

I doubt he is. 

 

[smackie9]

18 hours ago, Keirartt said:

I don’t know if I should initiate and text him again on insta? 

You do what you feel is right. If you two can meet up again then I don't see why not giving it a shot. What you posted and what he said is open to interpretation. He could have been passive/aggressive in his comment because girls usually don't want to see him again. He was passionate because he was very eager/thirsty. But whatever the results, have fun with it. Just remember...be honest with him...don't play games when communicating. 

[boltnrun]

I agree with @rainbowsandroses. His "Oh, I'm such a shy guy who has no luck with girls" schtick worked like a charm. I bet he uses that line on all his vacations. After all, a shy guy wouldn't be getting on Hinge during a vacation (read: searching for hookups).

Pursuing this vacation fling won't improve your dating situation at home. So I would work on that. See what you can do to meet new people.

[catfeeder]

You didn’t fall for him, you fell for the glamour of the vacation bubble. He’s a stranger beyond the boozy sex, and he’s made it clear that he’s keeping it that way.

We all need to tough out some degree of grief over the end of a fabulous vacation. We each get to decide whether to make that easier on ourselves or more difficult. I’d offer myself some fun rewards to help make it easier, and I’d avoid drilling myself into a deeper hole to climb out of in order to enjoy my real life at home again.