LegalGirl2009 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year. But about 8 months ago he cheated on me so we took time apart from August-November but i decided to give it another try. (We never stopped communicating though and he claimed to be working on himself to get me back) I was visiting this week and as I was packing I found a condom wrapper under his nightstand. I know it is NOT from me. He is claiming its from when we broke up back in September and the wrapper was left there. But I’m almost 100% positive I have looked under that nightstand before because I plug my phone in there and have dropped things under it before. I believe he cheated on me again. But I didn’t see it with my eyes and just don’t have that 100% certainty. Any insight? Link to comment
Jaunty Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Why would you choose to be in a relationship where you do not trust the person, for good reason, and are rummaging around under furniture looking for evidence - and on top of all of it, it's long distance? Please just cut your losses. You don't need any further proof, certainty, or insight from internet strangers. This is simply not a healthy situation with any clear positive path forward for you. 2 Link to comment
Andrina Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Why do think a person's ethics could change on a dime? As Maya Angelou said, When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Link to comment
Jaunty Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 I looked at your posting history - it seems like you are determined to be in long distance relationships. Why? 1 Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 He cheats. And you two have opposing views on politics and morals. You don't like the state he lives in and wouldn't want to relocate there. Other than "but I LOVE him", what is holding you to this man? 2 Link to comment
Lambert Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Trust and believing another person is not about having proof. Almost a year together.... 4 months in he cheats... 4 months break... now 4 month's later another incident... sounds like a crappy 12 months. dump this guy. date local. 2 1 Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 Fool me once, shame on you-- Fool me twice, shame on me. Don't wait around for a third round which would give him the opportunity to pull this again, minus the consequence as before.. 1 1 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 2 hours ago, LegalGirl2009 said: I have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year. But about 8 months ago he cheated on me so we took time apart from August-November . I believe he cheated on me again. Sorry this is happening. Reconsider if this relationship is viable. If you have to inspect his place for evidence of cheating when you visit, what's the point? Especially since you claim he has a habit of cheating. 1 Link to comment
TeeDee Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 LDRs require a lot of trust. You already know he's a cheater. Now you have more evidence & he's gas lighting you. What is the draw of staying with this man? Give up & date somebody local who shares your views & values. 1 1 Link to comment
Lambert Posted March 22 Share Posted March 22 58 minutes ago, TeeDee said: LDRs require a lot of trust. You already know he's a cheater. Now you have more evidence & he's gas lighting you. What is the draw of staying with this man? Give up & date somebody local who shares your views & values. yes, and LDRs are great for cheaters, liars, users... Link to comment
rainbowsandroses Posted March 25 Share Posted March 25 This story sounds so familiar. I've heard it more than once. Have you posted this previously under another username? If not, I cannot believe how many careless cheating boyfriends are leaving used condoms around the house for their girlfriends to find. Boggles the mind. @LegalGirl2009you don't always need solid proof. Just use your intuition and common sense. You found a used condom wrapper until the nightstand that wasn't yours and you'd never seen before. What more do you need, to catch him in the act? If me, I would not have even confronted him. Do you honestly think he would tell you the truth? You have all the evidence you need, and you clearly don't trust him, it's time to WALK. No need to even leave a note in this case, just leave. He's NOT stupid, most men aren't, contrary to popular belief. He will KNOW why you left. Let him live with the consequences and you move on with your life. 2 Link to comment
catfeeder Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 I would make this less about him, less about 'proof,' and more about ME and how I want to live. I could not envision a future of carrying around a hard pit in my stomach because I already know that I can't bring myself to trust someone who has shown me his capacity for disloyalty. You do you, but I wouldn't stay in this thing for another minute. 1 Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 You should never have gotten back together with him. But since you did, you are now seeing why that was a big mistake. End it. 1 Link to comment
tattoobunnie Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 On 3/22/2024 at 11:39 AM, LegalGirl2009 said: we took time apart from August-November So he hasn't cleaned his room since November? You know that was almost 5 months ago? If it looks vaccuum and tidied now, it means he's cleaned within the last 5 months, and the condom is recent. You aren't going to get a confession out of him. Be logical. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 He cheated on you....never take them back. Link to comment
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