Speciel treatment for GF

[HolmJr]

Hey.

I have a wonderfull girlfriend that I like to try and do something ekstra for her all the time I'm able too.

I just seem to be in the same rotations and can't think of something "new" to do to make her feel speciel.

I write these small letters for her to read every morning, cook her meals she can take with her for work with a little love note, pick her up from work with flowers. And too really pamper her I usually go for the 'typical' massage and are really looking for something different then a massage to do or something in that nature, it's all about making her feel loved and valued that we can do spontaneous for a little hour.

Any suggestions?

THANKS IN ADVANCE!!

P.S we have been togther for 1.5 years.

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, HolmJr said:

I write these small letters for her to read every morning, cook her meals she can take with her for work with a little love note, pick her up from work with flowers. 

How old is she? Do you live together? Do you both work? Why are you picking her up from work with flowers? Why are you packing her lunch like she's a child? 

Why not plan a vacation or weekend getaway? In the meantime try not to suffocate her this much. Unfortunately even though you mean well, it's a bit overwhelming. 

[Capricorn3]

OP, while all your gestures are really sweet and thoughtful, be very careful not to reach overkill - it gets to the point of being suffocating (imo).

[smackie9]

A little aloofness can go a long way. To be desirable is to be a little less available here and there. Be more spontaneous. Verbal appreciation/compliment would be a nice change. Predictability gets boring. 

[Batya33]

How does she react? What special things does she do for you?  How about from time to time go out of your way to pick up some food or beverage that she goes out of her way to purchase or offer to watch a movie or show with her that might not be your favorite but she has spoken about wanting to watch.

[Andrina]

As said, doing the same thing every day makes it seem not so special. Do you have a life besides your gf? Do you spend time with guy friends? Have your own hobby you do without her? Space can be a gift as well. Allows your partner to miss you and sees you have an interesting life besides having her as a partner.

[ShySoul]

Do you enjoy doing these things for her? Does she enjoy them? Does she also show her love for you? Yes? Then keep on doing what you are doing. If the relationship is working and has lasted this long, you must be doing something right. Every relationship is different, so if this works for you then it is fine. I think it's sweet and touching that you want to do all these things for her. Its also the little things, like leaving a random note, that mean the most. 

The best source for a new idea isn't random people online. The best ideas will come from her. Pay attention when she mentions something and make a mental note for later. At some point pull that out and surprise her. Think about who she is and what she enjoys. Then plan an activity around that. The point is to do something special for her, something that will make her happy. That also demonstrates that you really pay attention and understand her. 

And the best thing you can do is to just be there for her when she needs someone. Be the shoulder to cry on or the supportive friend who lends an ear. In my experience that ends up being more meaningful for a woman then any amount of flowers or massages.

[HolmJr]

5 hours ago, Andrina said:

As said, doing the same thing every day makes it seem not so special. Do you have a life besides your gf? Do you spend time with guy friends? Have your own hobby you do without her? Space can be a gift as well. Allows your partner to miss you and sees you have an interesting life besides having her as a partner.

Yes, I work alot with having my own company and have to be on call alot. Through my work I'm in my computer alot of hours Through the work, and she always put up with it and helps me in every way. 

I am gone with playing tennis once a week also with friends to play tennis in the evening and once a week in the evening for a investment group.

[Kwothe28]

Perhaps a Spa treatment? Women tend to love those.

I also think it’s kind of an overkill. It kills a specialty of a gesture. For example what are you going to do for women's day when you gift her flowers everyday? You are going to have to top that with something else for it to be special. Don't get me wrong, I like your gestures. But dont think you do yourself a favor with those.

I would also like to ask does she do something for you? Pampering is nice, but pampering also can lead to absolutely spoiled behavior. So does she appreciates it and does something for you too? Or she just expects you to do those stuff on daily basis just because?

[poorlittlefish]

I think you're making a rod for your own back with all these gestures. Your girlfriend may have come to expect them, giving you no way to reduce/stop without upsetting her.

It all sounds a bit one-sided, like you feel the need to put her on a pedestal. You are just as worthy of being treated nicely and you shouldn't need to overcompensate to "keep" someone. 

[Batya33]

5 hours ago, HolmJr said:

Yes, I work alot with having my own company and have to be on call alot. Through my work I'm in my computer alot of hours Through the work, and she always put up with it and helps me in every way. 

I am gone with playing tennis once a week also with friends to play tennis in the evening and once a week in the evening for a investment group.

I don't think trinkets and spa days make up for just time together. Last night we watched a rerun of Frasier and watched Jeopardy - and had a lot of fun with our typical banter etc -even though he also was working and I also was reading - it's special when we laugh together and enjoy the "little things". 

When he travels to Chicago a few times  a year he remembers to buy me my favorite Ghiardelli dark chocolate variety that is not available where we live -he buys several and gives them to me on various occasions (I happened to figure this out from seeing them in his suitcase when I was doing his trip laundry lol).  He always offers me some of his shake and he never ever eats the last bit of cake in the fridge if he knows I like that type -even if I can of course buy more.  

When I hear about a new CD coming out of music he would like, I make a note of it and will preorder it if it's that good.  Then we enjoy.  

Oh and he made sure I had those tiny lollipops when I was in labor with our son and so parched - sucking candy is not allowed so he had our friend run to the store and buy a huge bag.  This was 15 years ago.  I remember that more than random flowers or some fancy dinner.  But that's just me.

[ShySoul]

https://blog.gratefulness.me/how-to-show-your-partner-love-and-appreciation/

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