Do you guys think he’s just leading me on?

[Imlovelyyy]

I showed interest in a guy who showed interest in me through conversation, flirting, body language etc he asked me out on a proper date but because of my schedule I unfortunately forced him to have to reschedule the date. He rescheduled but what he rescheduled no longer seemed like a date. He invited me to hang out with he and his guy friends. Initially, I agreed. He had told I didn’t have to come if I wasn’t comfortable with that. So, I thought maybe he wanted to start things off more friendly rather than instantly pushing romantic but, I thought how weird it would look with me being the only girl with a bunch of guys. Before I could say I wasn’t down with that hang out, he approached me and told me I didn’t have to come anymore because they are gonna be smoking and getting high and he didn’t want me around any of that. It sounds genuine and seems as though he does care but he also could just be nicely friend zoning me, in an indirect way. What worries me is he still hasn’t rescheduled an actual real date, like when he originally asked me on a proper date.

[catfeeder]

The timeframes here are not clear, but I can only offer that none of us have a crystal ball that can foretell anything about this guy or his intentions any better than your own gut. For all we know, he attempted to fit you in on his next free day from his job or studies, only to recognize that this would be a mistake.

I'd move my focus away from the guy and allow him to either step up to invite you out properly, or not. If not, then you're not missing anything--this would speak of his limitations rather than of any reflection on you.

Your standards for acceptable treatment are valid and should never be compromised to try to fit in with any guy's shortcomings. Either a man is willing to demonstrate respect in his dealings with you, or he's not worth thinking about.

Head high.

 

[Wiseman2]

13 minutes ago, Imlovelyyy said:

, he approached me and told me I didn’t have to come anymore because they are gonna be smoking and getting high and he didn’t want me around any of that. 

Sorry this is happening. Trust your instincts. This is not a date. This is saying you can tag along if you want, but we don't really care if you show up. It's actually pretty insulting. 

Please step back and stop pursuing him. If or when he asks you out one-on-one for a date and you're still interested after this slap on the face, reconsider things at that time. 

[Capricorn3]

3 hours ago, Imlovelyyy said:

 he approached me and told me I didn’t have to come anymore because they are gonna be smoking and getting high

^ That right there would be my cue to head in the opposite direction.  Thanks, but no thanks.  Move on.

[LootieTootie]

If a guy rather smoke and get high with his friends than be with you, then yea, it means he's not that in to you.

He probably smokes with his friends a lot, so if I were you, I would not try to date this guy. 

 

[MissCanuck]

5 hours ago, Imlovelyyy said:

they are gonna be smoking and getting high

Girl. Raise you standards. 

This guy would rather get high with his buddies than have a date with you. What does that tell you? 

Forget him and find someone more mature (and more interested) 

[Kwothe28]

If he doesnt ask you on a real date but just on some lame hanging out with friends, its a pass. Because he doesnt make any real effort into dating you.

[Andrina]

I don't know how old you are. When I was in my late teens, I did date some guys who imbibed and it wasn't a dealbreaker to me. But during those experiences, I began learning why that should've been a dealbreaker for me. With the guy that smoked weed, I was a passenger in his car and could see his reflex of putting on the brake was slowed when we t-boned someone turning in front of him in an intersection. I was putting on my imaginary brake reflexively as this happened. Luckily, nobody but got hurt, but that was just one instance where people could've died because of that habit. A person could also lose their job because of random drug tests, and life is expensive. Money spent on drugs could've been money spent on daily needs or vacation money.

You might be too young to have thought of all this, and that's only a few cons I've listed. There are numerous more. Everyone on this forum says to give this a hard pass, so there's your answer.

[Sindy_0311]

15 hours ago, Imlovelyyy said:

he asked me out on a proper date but because of my schedule I unfortunately forced him to have to reschedule the date. He rescheduled but what he rescheduled no longer seemed like a date.

Usually, when someone asks you out on a date and you have to reschedule, YOU should propose another time and place... Its not on the other person to do it IMO 

 

15 hours ago, Imlovelyyy said:

What worries me is he still hasn’t rescheduled an actual real date, like when he originally asked me on a proper date.

Maybe he thought you weren't that interested as you didn't reschedule it... 

But anyway, I agree with others, he dosent seem to be boyfriend material... 

[smackie9]

This guy has low standards....you can do way better than him. Guuuurrrl first impressions count...if he ain't showing up on time, looking good, smelling good, and taking you somewhere one on one, then this dude is a dud.

[Jaunty]

I think if he wanted to date you, he'd be trying to ask you out on a date.  This does not seem to be the case.

As someone already posted, next time someone you're interested in asks you out, and YOU have a scheduling conflict, it's really up to you to make an alternative suggestion.  Not to "force" him to reschedule.