My stubborn boss

[itsallgrand]

Right off the bat, all that for minimum wage? Hell no. Take the lesson and move on. 

[Starlight925]

There's a saying that really applies here:

The way you do one thing, is the way you do everything.

You are way too emotionally invested in someone who gives you so little in return.

Sound familiar, Alex?

[catfeeder]

51 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

So I have updates. 

I wanted to acknowledge, she hired me to get more customers in the door of all ages and she specified she doesn't have young people and wants more of them. 

I don't have anything against the older person centered business, but she has a studio that fits a 12 per class and she gets maybe two older people per class and then complains about no customers. Two people total.  A lot of her customers are older and are getting illnesses, injuries, cancer, and they leave the our studio and then we barely have any customers. I think she should be featured on the website, but she wants to be on every single page. No pictures of any younger people. 

When people dont come back or switch their studio preferences, she gets all mad and calls them personally inquiring about it. Who wants to be questioned about their life like that? 

She tries to control their lives. A customer will switch their studio membership to a more flexible option that works for their life better.  She gets mad and tells me to jack up the price of flexible options so people then want to buy the ones she wants that last longer money wise. You can't control customers and they might see the jacked up price and just walk away. 

Many older people on a fixed income can't afford her high prices. She's higher than anyone else in the area. The owner claims she's worth more. But her studio isn't as nice as the others. She has more experience teaching. Older people care about that. Younger people don't. 

Just having a population of older rich people doesn't seem sustainable long-term. 

She is pretty much attracting everyone exactly like her. 

The job was to do all the business tasks- sales, marketing, website design and management, accounting, social media, graphic design, customer service, account management.  I'm doing all of that for minimum wage. 

I love that sort of work. I'm good at it. 

Now she's acting like the last two months of high high sales didn't happen. 

I worked my butt off to get her those sales and used high level skills.

I went to school for 7 years for my education and have been a working professional for 10 years. I'm not a dumb person.

This month she didn't want me offering promotions, deals, etc like I did the last two months. So I haven't been. I've been promoting the business as is and no one is biting. It's January, people flock to the gym. Not hers.

Well her sales aren't doing great currently. So today her solution is to raise prices.

I told her I don't think that is the issue, because the last two months were strong and the prices were the same. It was that I offered strong promotions.

She's like yeah, we jack up the prices, then offer promotions.

She starts on and on about how she needs to make more money and such.

And how she wants experienced teachers to teach for her and she needs to pay them for their experience and up their pay. And she goes on and on about how experience equals higher pay.

I became deeply hurt and offended. The conversation grew tense. And I nicely told her how I have a lot of professional and business experience, and that I'm only making minimum wage and how I'd like to be paid for my experience level.

She says how- I was only talking about my teachers and not you, and I'm only paying you what I can.

And how teachers have tons of experience. I tell her how I am an experienced administrative and business professional.  Which is the job I'm doing.

She downs me saying how- well I have 20 years in this industry teaching fitness and you have no experience in this industry, and you need to gain some.

Now mind you, this lady hired me originally because I have an MBA and tons of business experience,  but suddenly today I know nothing and am not up to par.

I danced my entire life at a studio, taught dance at two different fitness studios for years, worked professionally for a gym doing business stuff for a year, and taught fitness at a gym for years.

I was deeply offended. And then she says how if I want to learn this industry and be a business person then I need to go online and look at her competitors in the area and see their prices and compare.

So insulting. I was shaking and upset. I worked so hard for my career.

So I go right online and pull up her competitors. They have nicer studios and I show her that they all have lower prices than she does.

She quickly got off the topic and wouldn't acknowledge the lower prices of the other places in the area.

She threw in my face that she's been in the industry for 20 years.

Yes, teaching fitness, not running a business.


She then goes on to tell me how she might even close the studio for a month this summer as she wants to vacation in Hawaii. She was just complaining about making no money. Not making ends meet. And not being able to pay me anything more. It was beyond insulting. I'm not worth a penny more, but she can vacation in Hawaii. The job she has ne doing requires a lot of work and brain power. It isn't bagging groceries- which in my area is paying more than she is. Crazy!

No one treats me this way. I worked way too hard to be treated this way. No one downgrades my success in that insulting way.

My parents think I'm her scapegoat, when her business isn't doing well, she'll blame me. I will not let my reputation be ruined by this.

I even have to use my own computer for this job and she barely gives me a space to work in.  Then says I'm not worth more money.


I raised her prices as she asked and now have found brainless local side gigs paying way more than what I'm making in my area. I plan on leaving her as quickly as possible, as soon as I can. 

C'mOn, Alex. You just repeated everything you already said before we all took the time to respond to you. Can you really be that tone-deaf? Did you even read the replies?

[Seraphim]

I hate to say it but as a business owner, yes , I take holidays and I close my business to do so. Why? So I can recharge my batteries and spend time with my family and not to go freaking insane and one day lose my crap . 

[catfeeder]

37 minutes ago, Jaunty said:

...market yourself with fees that reflect your high opinion of your abilities.  

Don't take a part time minimum wage gig.

Exactly. How seriously do you expect any business owner to take your expertise when the rate you're willing to accept is minimum wage?

There's nothing 'wrong' with a minimum wage job, but you only claim to be more valuable than that NOW? Then, why did you accept the pay, and why blame anyone else for insulting you when you're the one who agreed to the wage?

If you're a marketer, then market Your Self better than this. It's nobody else's fault that you've chosen not to do that.

[Seraphim]

KNOW your worth don’t just tell people your worth. 

[LootieTootie]

12 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

KNOW your worth don’t just tell people your worth. 

Exactly. 

& stop selling yourself short... with strangers, with guys, with employers, with friends... 

If you don't like something, just don't do it or don't go. You don't need to be emotionally invested in everything and everyone.

 

[boltnrun]

Agree with the others. You do this in every facet of your life, then complain when things don't go the way you want them to.

Are you willing to change? If not, you can continue on the way you always have been and continue to be dissatisfied. 

Why don't you truly believe you are worth better? Serious question.

[jul-els]

It sounds like a less than ideal match. Your personalities and vision are very different. But you have brought value to her, so I’d focus on that more than the things that you see differently. If you’re really unhappy working there, you can always move on to something that aligns more with what you want to accomplish. 

[Alex39]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I hate to say it but as a business owner, yes , I take holidays and I close my business to do so. Why? So I can recharge my batteries and spend time with my family and not to go freaking insane and one day lose my crap . 

I have no issue with her taking a vacation. I promote healthy work-life balance. What shocked me is that since I started, she's complained to me that she needs to make more money, she's poor, she can't make ends meet, and how destitute she is. I felt really bad and took a vested interest in helping her enhance the business. 

So I up her sales, she seems happy, then she back tracks on all the stuff I did that was earning her more money, all the work I did, changes everything, but then is stumped why the money isn't pouring in. Then acts like I have to sell harder her way, because I'm inexperienced and she's the epitome of business. Sales and income doesn't lie. In September she made $1500.  October she made under $3000. In December she made $6000- under my marketing and sales strategies. 

I'm a huge planner and am always showing her concrete lists, making spreadsheets, plans, and organization. I'm always showing her these things. She throws me old stained post-its, and sends me emotional and frantic text messages.  She's very disorganized. 

Then preaches how she really needs to make more money to pay her employees better, all except me, who is doing all the leg work. And preaches how experience equals better pay. But I have 10 years of corporate work experience, 15 years of customer service experience,  6 years of fitness studio experience,  and 7 years to get my MBA, which is why she hired me in the first place. Then proceeds to down me saying I need to learn business in her industry, like she's this primed pro. I doubled her sales in a month, and she told me she'd never made that much money in a month in her life. But I'm inexperienced.  

Then gushes about taking a Hawaiian vacation. But I thought she was poor. So yes, her crying poor, saying I don't deserve more, but her teachers do, and then saying she's going to take an expensive vacation pissed me off. It wasn't the vacation , it was everything supporting her saying it. 

 

[Alex39]

1 hour ago, catfeeder said:

Exactly. How seriously do you expect any business owner to take your expertise when the rate you're willing to accept is minimum wage?

There's nothing 'wrong' with a minimum wage job, but you only claim to be more valuable than that NOW? Then, why did you accept the pay, and why blame anyone else for insulting you when you're the one who agreed to the wage?

If you're a marketer, then market Your Self better than this. It's nobody else's fault that you've chosen not to do that.

Because I was content with the pay, as she told me that's all she had. Then she mentioned she is wanting to pay others working there more, and hopes to soon with more sales,  then I realized she was willing to pay out, and I wanted a piece as I feel I deserve a small pay raise too. As my work is high level and quality. 

[Alex39]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Agree with the others. You do this in every facet of your life, then complain when things don't go the way you want them to.

Are you willing to change? If not, you can continue on the way you always have been and continue to be dissatisfied. 

Why don't you truly believe you are worth better? Serious question.

I see what you all are saying. I do do this in all aspects. I'm a doormat. I'm honestly sick of it. I really want to change. I really do. 

[Seraphim]

Just now, Alex39 said:

I see what you all are saying. I do do this in all aspects. I'm a doormat. I'm honestly sick of it. 

The only answer is stop doing it. 

[Alex39]

Just now, Seraphim said:

The only answer is stop doing it. 

I don't know how. It's my natural instinct.  And I struggle in life with money. So I am quite attached to the money to sustain my life and my bills. 

[Seraphim]

Everyone needs money, just not at any price . We are also not just talking about money. You act like a door mat get angry and act passive aggressive in many areas of your life . Stop. 

[boltnrun]

27 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I see what you all are saying. I do do this in all aspects. I'm a doormat. I'm honestly sick of it. I really want to change. I really do. 

If you stop acting like a doormat ...what are you afraid would happen? No one would love you?

[rainbowsandroses]

19 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

If you stop acting like a doormat ...what are you afraid would happen? No one would love you?

The irony is it's the exact opposite.  It's when you stop being a doormat that people (including the men you date) will love you.

Why?  Because it shows you love yourself and have self-respect, and when you have self-love and self-respect and your behavior reflects that, then naturally others will follow suit and love and respect you as well.   That's how it works.

As it stands now Alex, you have very little self-respect which is what this is actually about imo despite your education, credentials and talent.  Those things are superficial, it's what you feel INSIDE your self, about your self, what's inside your your soul, that counts.

You have 100% control over this, and you can change negative aspects of yourself when they become detrimental to your life.  That means making different choices and changing behaviors with respect to your mom, your boyfriends, your friends, your job etc.

I am sorry but saying you cannot change a negative aspect of yourself because it's your "natural instinct" is a total cop out, not buying it.  You were not born being a doormat, it's something you became somewhere along the way.

It takes hard work internally and A LOT of introspection and self-reflection, combined with a real desire to change, to make this happen.  Therapy might also be helpful to you.

I don't see this happening sadly as you continue to make the same mistakes over and over, having learned nothing from your previous experiences.

Get to work Alex, become happy within.  You have one life, live it to the fullest, it's just too damn short to do otherwise.

 

 

[boltnrun]

23 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

It's when you stop being a doormat that people (including the men you date) will love you.

And the ones who want you to continue to be their doormat don't truly want what's best for you. 

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, Alex39 said:

I struggle in life with money. So I am quite attached to the money to sustain my life and my bills. 

Many part time jobs pay even higher than minimum wage, and they are ALL and ALWAYS looking for help.

Skip this woman who makes you miserable, and go work where you can have some FUN and ENJOY yourself. You do realize that suffering with a crappy attitude doesn't make a dollar worth more than a dollar, right? So go get the same money or more from a toy job where you'll be appreciated and you can laugh with your coworkers and look forward to going in there each shift.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Alex39 said:

 I struggle in life with money. So I am quite attached to the money to sustain my life and my bills. 

How is your primary job? Are you using your skills for that position? Why would someone who supposedly has an MBA take a minimum wage job? Something isn't adding up here. Why are you struggling financially? 

You seem to hate your boss, hate her business model, hate this job and you already feel underappreciated. Yet you gave her your CV and agreed to work for peanuts, why? 

[MissCanuck]

It's not that you are a doormat. 

You have a strong tendency to martyr yourself and position yourself as the victim.

You seem to get something out of sticking around bad friendships, poor relationships, family conflicts and coming here to complain about how awful everyone is to you - and yet you stay and keep rattling off laundry lists of how mean the world is to you. You could walk away from all kinds of people you clearly dislike (including this employer), but you don't. 

You are just as much a part of the problem in your own misery here. 

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, Alex39 said:

have no issue with her taking a vacation. I promote healthy work-life balance.

This is the core of the problem - this is your mindset - no one -with all respect!! -cares what  you promote about work-life balance in this context and again you are assuming she is spending her savings on vacation -maybe someone gifted it or she has a vacation fund or whatever.  You don't get to judge her -you're her minimum wage employee and she's complaining that profits are down.  What if she bought a $7 latte every day - would  you need to tell yourself "I promote fancy beverage caffeine infusions instead of a $1.95 black coffee?" If you would go there - that's the problem with your mindset.  As the old fashioned saying goes "you're too big for your britches".

Promote staying in your lane. For sure - I love when people I work with go the extra mile - I do the same but not in this judgy/I run the show/bossy/I've got a fancy degree so she better defer to me!!! way. I actually think FWIW your background and talents are really cool.  I'm not in marketing but "I play one on TV" meaning I love Shark Tank and hearing about marketing from an entrepreneurial perspective just don't have your skills.  Go the extra mile whether it's minimum wage or top $.  But also stay in your lane.

For example -let's say an assistant catches a typo her boss made and catching this sort of typo is not in her job description.  So she decides -I'm a team player and I bet she didn't want to write this in the title.  She emails boss to alert her.  Boss is so thankful! 

What if instead she said "I caught this typo.  You're always complaining how you don't get enough sleep and then you feel out of it and scatterbrained - I learned in school -and implemented for years when I was [top position] [assistant launches into wellness approach/revamped procedures for editing this sort of document/proposing she come up with a powerpoint her boss can follow to implement these changes and avoid such typos].  Assistant took the comment as her gospel.  Your boss yes complains and has these goals for you to accomplish but the proof is in the pudding -she hired you part time and minimum wage -read the tea leaves (which might say her expectations are unrealistic -but so are yours)

That's the issue here - yes she gave you broad responsibilities and pie in the sky goals but she also expects you -fairly or not! - to stay in your lane and not claim that  you increased sales or the profits are up because of you.  She's being a bit ridiculous yes but you're fueling the fire here with your high and mighty attitude -yes just like you judged your bride to be/mom to be friends when you were picked to "assist" as a bridesmaid.  Promote your worth as others said by showing it not telling it and this sort of hodgepodge who am I to her position is like poison especially for someone like you.

[Alex39]

7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

How is your primary job? Are you using your skills for that position? Why would someone who supposedly has an MBA take a minimum wage job? Something isn't adding up here. Why are you struggling financially? 

You seem to hate your boss, hate her business model, hate this job and you already feel underappreciated. Yet you gave her your CV and agreed to work for peanuts, why? 

My primary job is great and I do use my skills and make decent money. I have a ton of student debt from all my schooling and was struggling to make ends meet, so I took a part time job hoping to make some extra money on the side. But all it is, is aggrevation. I think I'm working harder in this side job than my primary at times. But it's flexible and I do like that. My primary Job is all sitting, and this other job is all sitting and she makes me use my own computer. My computer is taking a beating, but I can't yet afford another $1000 computer. 

She should have marketed the position as her assistant. Thats what she wants. But she marketed it as Business Manager to completely manage her business while she teaches fitness.  Which to me seemed like a boost for my resume. I felt extremely qualified for it.  And I've been complimented on my resume for the quality work I'm doing for her on the side. I was extremely offended at her acting like I need more experience and downgrading me. I've been nothing but nice to her. Respectful, helpful, did everything she's asked. It was that she was preaching about the teachers deserving more because they are so experienced and qualified and such. But not me, who is extremely experienced and qualified too. Then she proceeds to explain not also upping my pay, by saying I'm chop liver essentially. A part of the job I was hired to do was increase sales and bring more business in. So I don't see an issue with pointing that out as I did that work. Because now sales are down and it's her fault as I am following her instructions. 

I may not be confident in dating. But I am extremely confident in my ability to work, my education, my proficiency, and my reputation. I've worked with companies and government agencies from all over the world. I've gotten job offers from every interview I go to. I own a home, because I researched and was smart and took advantage of my financial options and resources. 

I unfortunately owe more than $130,000 in student debt. 

This lady is a disorganized mess. She barely has a place for me to sit when I come in. I make a set schedule with her about me coming in and she's always moving it. You open her desk- full of junk falling out at you. She is a great fitness instructor. I never ever have downed her in that sense. But I do know modern marketing and business, and she does not. When I met her, she wasn't being diligent about where her money was going to. She had auto-subscriptions she was paying monthly that she didn't know about. She got scammed into giving money to these horrible marketing people who never got her one new client from radio ads and magazines. She got her social media and credit cards hacked, because she gave her information to one of those popular scams. I tried helping her with all of that and boost her image online and her sales. I tried telling her how the economy is poor and that sky high prices isn't something people can afford. She's just obsessed with making money for herself. She was paying these "business coaches" online thousands of dollars. But they never came to see her space. They never met her in-person, or saw her junk everywhere. She clutters up her studio with knick knacks and mismatched junk. Its not boho. I love Boho. It's like old tacky garage sale thrown together. These business coaches sent her programs for her to study and take online classes on marketing and accounting. These business coaches helped her come up with her sky high pricing, off what she told them, which is that she is gold and her studio is the best. Looks wise, her studio is very old, tacky, cluttered, and looks like more a kids place, than an adult space.  She never did the classes they gave her. I think she's embarrassed that she spent so much on this program, but it really didn't help her. She's constantly shoving it down my throat that these coaches know it all and helped her and she wants to follow what they say. But if you look at her sales they didn't increase until I started working for her. I follow the money, as a business person. If I see no results in so many months, it's not working. 

But suddenly I know nothing and am no one and she downs me when I mention my experience and pretty much says I don't have any. Because I haven't been a fitness instructor for 20 years like her.  I'm not trying to be a fitness instructor for a job.  I was hired as a business professional, which I do have over 10 years experience in. If I walked over to Warner Bros Studios tomorrow for a business job, they aren't going to focus on the fact- Do you love movies? What movies of ours are your favorite? Have you been watching our movies for 20 years?

They are going to say- what are your business skills and how can you increase our sales and enhance our business? What have you done in business? 

[Seraphim]

Alex, you are still going on and on and on AND ON, about how you are so much better than her and what a moron she is. Personally, I think you are very very insecure and find situations where YOU feel you can be superior. Stop it . It is unappealing and nasty and people can see it a mile off . This is 90% of your problems. You are too busy trying to be superior. 

[boltnrun]

We get it, you are extremely unhappy. Dissatisfied. Feel disrespected.

How you talk about this woman reminds me of how you've told us your mother treats you.

She isn't your mother. And she is not going to change. 

Why are you so resistant to making changes in how you conduct your life? Do you prefer to keep yourself in dissatisfying situations so you can just keep complaining and blaming others for your unhappiness?