(16f 17m) i feel like he's not attracted to me

[luvr]

i (16f) has been in a relationship with my wonderful bf (17m) for 6 months now. 

early on in our relationship i found him liking pictures of other girls and even discussing them with his friends over text and irl. 

i felt horrible, not only because he's looking at other girls, those girls look nothing like me, they were all pale east asians (common beauty standard in asia), have big chests and 🍑 to match. while im tan, skinny with not a lot to offer.

(after i told him how this made me uncomfortable, he stopped completely, but i don't know if he still does it on other social media platforms because i don't check)

what hits me harder was when one of his friends was telling me a story of how they were obsessed with pale chinese girls and would frequently try and get with them.

one of his friends also joked to ditch me and to get with a korean because they look much better.

this has made me insane lately, i told myself to get over it and it's not a big deal but it's eating me up inside and i don't know where else to share. 

 

 

[bluecastle]

So sorry about all this! 

Your bf sounds very, very immature—understandable, to some degree, since he's only 17, but still no excuse for how it's making you all feel. Whatever the factors, if being in a relationship is making you "insane" that's generally life telling you that you're in the wrong relationship. And it may be that this relationship, for whatever has been great, is here to teach you that lesson. 

I'd imagine that just about anyone you date will have discussed some insta-hotties with their friends, just as I'd imagine that when you're hanging out with your female friends the hotness of random dudes, online or elsewhere, has been discussed. That said, bringing up "obsessions" with "pale Chinese girls" in front of you is just...well, it's about as lame as it gets. 

Long and short: this has nothing to do with you. You are great! Sadly, you are in a relationship with a wee little boy who has a lot of growing up to do. Don't let his lack of growth bring you down.  

[Coily]

Do you think maybe his friend is trying to cause a break up to have a shot at dating you?

The fact he stopped when he asked you to is commendable, he may still look but you can't blind the boy (like some here would have you do). The real question is how does he treat you and how is the relationship otherwise?

You both are young and will have lots of these moments where something isn't working well. You need to ask yourself is it worth the angst and turmoil to keep this relationship going, or would you be better off with someone you don't worry about in this way.

You need to be willing to have a calm talk with  him about your concerns, then base your next steps off of that. I think that this could just be your insecurities based off of who you think he likes; but since he's with you maybe consider that.

[SooSad33]

49 minutes ago, luvr said:

this has made me insane lately, i told myself to get over it and it's not a big deal but it's eating me up inside and i don't know where else to share. 

You don't have to tolerate this anymore.  Instead move on from these childish boys.

It's normal for guys to go chat with their buddies about a cute girl etc, so don't be surprised at this type of behaviour.

Sounds like his buddies are just as immature and you can do better.  Let them all go swoon over whatever they wish, instead of losing yourself due to their lack of maturity. ( considering their age of 17 yrs old.. they've got a long time yet to truly 'grow up'). 

In time, you will come to meet someone who is fully into you 😉 .

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, luvr said:

 it's eating me up inside and i don't know where else to share.

Trust your instincts. He's being crude immature and randy with his friends. Keep in mind it's just hormones talking. 

You're fine the way you are. But hanging out with immature crude racists who categorize women (as IF) they could get with them is bringing you down.

There's plenty of boys to date that are classier than this bunch. Talk to trusted friends and family about how you feel.

[Cherylyn]

Your boyfriend is NOT  "Mr. Wonderful."  He has a side to him that's dishonorable and if you want to determine what a guy is like,  look to his friends.  "You are the company you keep." 

You should be with the type of boyfriend who possesses class.  Any other type is at your own risk.

[smackie9]

awww hun I am so sorry you are in this situation. Maybe things started out great with you two, but things do change. You have discovered he pretty immature, and so are his friends. They are being rude little boys. Girl you can do better than him. Relationships are not forever. You will have many more after this one. The lesson here is that, if it's this bad, and you are being hurt, you should just walk away. Unfortunately he's got a lot of growing up to do.