If I'm (25F) going to be famous, should I make partners sign NDAs now?

[CherryRedOctopus7]

I'm a musician who largely plays and sings at home, but I plan to perform more and have goals to have a thriving public career as a performer, if not one day make it big. Either way, I am and will be even more known to the public.

I also work in other areas like activism and holistic health, and I want to start more public-facing accounts for those as well.

I'm still a virgin, but it's occuring to me that once I start having sex and I do become famous--or at least, become more known to the public--past partners can just release information about me and my sex life to the world. I don't want "reports" about me out there.

Obviously celebrities are out having sex, but the majority of "I slept with so-and-so!" stories come from the time before they got famous, meaning most celebs use NDAs to keep their sex lives private. Should I do the same, starting now, so no one in the future can disclose information about me?

For example, there's one OnlyFans creator (he makes solo male masturbation videos) who lives relatively close to me. If the starts align, I'm considering linking up with him and hooking up with him. I don't want stuff like that getting out.

TL;DR I think I'm going to be famous in the future and want to protect my privacy. Should I make current partners sign NDAs?

[bluecastle]

Can I ask how old you are, for context? 

All in all, I think you are overthinking all this—understandably, given that we're living in a deeply self-consciousness and self-curated time. But I honestly don't think most celebrities rely on NDAs, let alone aspiring celebrities. Best thing you can do is make choices you're proud of, accept that you can't control everything, and trust that you can handle whatever comes—because, well, you can.

 

[boltnrun]

3 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

Can I ask how old you are, for context? 

25, it's in the thread title.

I agree with your assessment. This is what my mother called borrowing trouble. Worrying about something that "might" happen. 

 

[Batya33]

This is related to the Tiger Woods situation right? I don't think you should since in your situation people will find it off putting and probably kind of weird and opt not to date you.  Also even if they sign and violate can you afford the expensive legal fees to sue the person? Can you afford the legal fees to make sure your version of the NDA is worth anything?

How is it you care so much about holistic health but you're considering hooking up with a person who treats his body in the way he does?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, CherryRedOctopus7 said:

 there's one OnlyFans creator  I'm considering linking up with him and hooking up with him. I don't want stuff like that getting out.

The best way to keep your image clean is to refrain from stuff you don't want going viral.  While you could get all sorts of legal contacts, it's much easier to avoid things you wouldn't want to be known, including sexual conduct with paid sex workers or video taping sexual activity.

[boltnrun]

This person would likely include you in his Only Fans activity, so I'm not sure how you'd be able to enforce an NDA. You'd be willingly putting your sexual activity online for anyone who wants to pay to see it. And yes, he'll probably want to include you because that's how he makes money.

[CherryRedOctopus7]

7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The best way to keep your image clean is to refrain from stuff you don't want going viral.  While you could get all sorts of legal contacts, it's much easier to avoid things you wouldn't want to be known, including sexual conduct with paid sex workers or video taping sexual activity.

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

This person would likely include you in his Only Fans activity, so I'm not sure how you'd be able to enforce an NDA. You'd be willingly putting your sexual activity online for anyone who wants to pay to see it. And yes, he'll probably want to include you because that's how he makes money.

I wouldn't be paying him nor recording content with him. It'll be the same as a one night stand or FWB situation. (He only records and posts solo stuff, but I'm sure he's been having sex with women in his real life alongside all that.) But it's all hypothetical, so I digress. 

I guess anyone I sleep with could always just come back and say, "Hey, she did this and this." Ugh, so annoying.

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, CherryRedOctopus7 said:

I wouldn't be paying him nor recording content with him. It'll be the same as a one night stand or FWB situation. (He only records and posts solo stuff, but I'm sure he's been having sex with women in his real life alongside all that.) But it's all hypothetical, so I digress. 

I guess anyone I sleep with could always just come back and say, "Hey, she did this and this." Ugh, so annoying.

One way to decrease the risk is only have sex with men you are in exclusive committed relationships with after dating a couple of months and seeing if they act with character and integrity.  That person likely wouldn't want you talking about his private business to anyone either.  Someone you have a ONS with or a sexual arrangement is likely not going to sign an NDA with just to get to have intercourse with you -they can find that many other places without that sort of annoying obstacle.  Also if you are great friends with someone and decide to have sex -what you referred to as FWB -surely you would trust your great friend not to misuse your personal information you share?  Many people who are not famous would be hurt by that - in their jobs, their professional lives - do you see many people demanding an NDA? 

[Coily]

The problem is not that they will ignore the NDA, it's that you'll be unable to enforce it; and even if you do the damage to your reputation will be done. And IF you become famous, even just suing them will make the tabloids assume the rumors are correct.

Seeing someone with an OF for casual sex is a different topic, and one I would discourage anyone from thinking there won't be repercussions. If he's out to make a buck, if you're famous he could just as simply say "look at my OF, where you can see the D that took the v-card from someone famous. Do what you want, just think things through.

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, CherryRedOctopus7 said:

 I guess anyone I sleep with could always just come back and say, "Hey, she did this and this." 

That's true. Unless it's illegal, most "celebrities", don't even care about this. The tabloids are always filled with nonsense. Once you're rich and famous you can afford attorneys and people who can make just about anything disappear.

There's only one way to prevent tarnishing your image and that's not to engage in questionable activity.

Keep in mind even libel and slander suits hold no water unless you're damaged and you can prove it's not true.  Do you really think popular stars care if a supermarket rag has nonsense about a secret lovechild and trysts with aliens, etc? 

[Seraphim]

This kind of like pre nups, nope nope nope , avoid said folks at all costs. 

[boltnrun]

I'm actually in favor of pre-nups, but I find a "You must not disclose that you and I had sex" NDA to be unreasonable and likely unenforceable.

See: Trevor Bauer. Those women accused him of a crime, so an NDA wouldn't have protected him. 

[lostandhurt]

What exactly are you doing or plan on doing that you want kept secret?

People have sex so why would that be big news?  Don't make any videos of you having sex and you should be fine.

 Not sure what you are afraid of really. There have been plenty of videos and pics that have surfaced about real celebrities and they are nothing more than a blip in the news cycle.

  I planned on being a famous race car driver and now all I have is an old fire suit with my name on the back hanging in the closet never worn...

Don't put the cart before the horse.

 Lost

[Kwothe28]

Are you the same one that asked about some OnlyFans "famous" creator with 4 viewers? Hope you dont think 4 viewers is being famous lol

Anyway, you are not an NBA star. Or a famous musician. You dont even perform live or probably make a good money on it. You are young and think a career in music is an option. But the truth is, chances of you making as a musician, let alone becoming a famous one, are astronomically small. In most cases you would have to have a regular job to support yourself and maybe perform on the weekends or in free time. There is an astronomically small chance that you will actually be a performer who could live comfortably of music. Same with famous athlethes or any other occupation where fame is involved. They are all exceptionally rare.

I say this because, well, I am sorry but nobody would care with who you sleep or who did you sleep unless you are mega- famous. And if you think that it would be a problem for later I suggest you practice abstinence rather then engaging in sexual activities with somebody that does porn. NDA is just not necessery when you are not famous nore on the path to be. Yet.

[MissCanuck]

No, don't do this. 

You are not famous at this time, so there is no need. And you are probably going to find that it will turn people right off so there won't be any sex to worry about. 

I happen to know someone who is world-famous. I knew this person before they hit it huge, and I know some of the people they had dated back then. Any of those people could go to the press and sell stories about this celeb for a big pay-out, guaranteed. But you know what? None of them have. As far as I know, this celebrity has never had any issue with the pre-fame folks. 

I therefore think you are vastly over-estimating the risk here, OP. 

[CherryRedOctopus7]

18 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

No, don't do this. 

You are not famous at this time, so there is no need. And you are probably going to find that it will turn people right off so there won't be any sex to worry about. 

I happen to know someone who is world-famous. I knew this person before they hit it huge, and I know some of the people they had dated back then. Any of those people could go to the press and sell stories about this celeb for a big pay-out, guaranteed. But you know what? None of them have. As far as I know, this celebrity has never had any issue with the pre-fame folks. 

I therefore think you are vastly over-estimating the risk here, OP. 

Cool! Makes sense. 

Time to get my freak on!

58 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Are you the same one that asked about some OnlyFans "famous" creator with 4 viewers? Hope you dont think 4 viewers is being famous lol

I am. And yes, I called him a "porn star" last time, which is not accurate. Let's call him adult content creator, lol. Same thing applies--no paying him for sex or recording us having potential sex.

 

3 hours ago, Coily said:

Seeing someone with an OF for casual sex is a different topic, and one I would discourage anyone from thinking there won't be repercussions. If he's out to make a buck, if you're famous he could just as simply say "look at my OF, where you can see the D that took the v-card from someone famous. Do what you want, just think things through.

 

[Jaunty]

5 hours ago, CherryRedOctopus7 said:

I guess anyone I sleep with could always just come back and say, "Hey, she did this and this." Ugh, so annoying.

Okay ... it's super that you have big plans for your future.  At this point, however, you have yet to experience a sexual relationship and you haven't begun performing in public.  Fame will take a while to develop.  

So perhaps concentrate on cultivating a healthy relationship with somebody (or somebodies) to start out your sex life, and also get some live gigs for your music. 

Roll with that for a while and then take it from there.   I mean, most of us, including famous people,  were able to start having sex in our lives without preparing legal documents in advance.  

Frankly,  presenting an NDA to somebody who was looking forward to having sex with you might just change their mind pretty quickly.  

[Coily]

Strangely I am reminded of a clip from the corny 80s movie Cherry 2000, where two people are having their lawyers write up a contract for a one night stand.

[Batya33]

Also if you present this NDA to a ONS or someone you barely know you won't even know if they are signing their real name.

[poorlittlefish]

Think how many famous people there are - on TV, in movies, in music, in politics etc etc.  Thousands and thousands of them.  Is the news constantly filled with salacious stories about what each and every one of them may or may not have done with a previous partner, long before they became famous?  No.  I think you have delusions of grandeur that are stopping you from thinking/behaving rationally about how your life is right now.

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, CherryRedOctopus7 said:

, I called him a "porn star" last time, which is not accurate. Let's call him adult content creator.

Why would you be interested in sex with someone like this, no matter what title you want to use?

Have you considered dating or finding a BF to perhaps have sex in that context?

It's doubtful "CherryRedOctopus7 had sex!" would end up on the front page of the daily news or go viral on the internet. So don't worry about it too much.

[CherryRedOctopus7]

31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why would you be interested in sex with someone like this, no matter what title you want to use?

Have you considered dating or finding a BF to perhaps have sex in that context?

It's doubtful "CherryRedOctopus7 had sex!" would end up on the front page of the daily news or go viral on the internet. So don't worry about it too much.

He's just really ***ing hot to me, lol, so I wouldn't mind a spin with him. But I have also just downloaded a dating app and I'm trying to go to more social events to expand my horizons and options.

Yeah, not giving my NDA idea any more thought. I could see how silly I was being now.

[CherryRedOctopus7]

31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why would you be interested in sex with someone like this, no matter what title you want to use?

Have you considered dating or finding a BF to perhaps have sex in that context?

It's doubtful "CherryRedOctopus7 had sex!" would end up on the front page of the daily news or go viral on the internet. So don't worry about it too much.

He's just really ***ing hot to me, lol, so I wouldn't mind a spin with him. But I have also just downloaded a dating app and I'm trying to go to more social events to expand my horizons and options.

Yeah, not giving my NDA idea any more thought. I could see how silly I was being now.

[CherryRedOctopus7]

31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why would you be interested in sex with someone like this, no matter what title you want to use?

Have you considered dating or finding a BF to perhaps have sex in that context?

It's doubtful "CherryRedOctopus7 had sex!" would end up on the front page of the daily news or go viral on the internet. So don't worry about it too much.

He's just really ***ing hot to me, lol, so I wouldn't mind a spin with him. But I have also just downloaded a dating app and I'm trying to go to more social events to expand my horizons and options.

Yeah, not giving my NDA idea any more thought. I could see how silly I was being now.

[Batya33]

44 minutes ago, CherryRedOctopus7 said:

He's just really ***ing hot to me, lol, so I wouldn't mind a spin with him. But I have also just downloaded a dating app and I'm trying to go to more social events to expand my horizons and options.

Yeah, not giving my NDA idea any more thought. I could see how silly I was being now.

I was older the first time for me - 24  - there were personal reasons for that.  Honestly that first time wasn't a big deal for me as far as "wow first time" and there was stress around it because he was at that point tired of waiting - not ideal -but since we were in love, since we were committed it made it so much better and comfortable and yes special.  I highly recommend not using your body as some sort of spin cycle with some dude who's hot for your body. 

Don't you meet people through your holistic health and activism related interests?