Why the girl avoids me so much?

[Abinash1973]

I recently joined a company, there is a female coworker much younger than me, she has been avoiding me from the day one. She don't look at me during discussion, Once she didn't come to a skype conference session. But she replies my text. This activity has clearly noticeable by others. What could be the reason? Is she so shy?

[Kwothe28]

Maybe you are not "sympathic" to her. Meaning that she doesnt like you based on first or any other impression after that. She needs to answer your work texts and just avoids you otherwise. That is OK, we cant be liked by all people. So you would have to accept that. Keep it professional and dont let it bother you.

[Wonderstruck]

Are you interested in her?

If you are, she's probably picked up on that, and it makes her feel uncomfortable because she doesn't reciprocate your feelings.

Like Kwothe28 said, she's responding to your work texts because she HAS to. But she's avoiding you as much as possible otherwise because you make her feel uncomfortable.

Leave her alone. She's not interested in you, and she has no obligation to be.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Abinash1973 said:

I recently joined a company, there is a female coworker much younger than me, she has been avoiding me from the day one. 

Do you have a crush on her? It sounds like she is trying to be professional. 

Since you just started there the best thing to do is review the sexual harassment policies and immediately stop texting her.

The workplace is not a singles club. Leave her alone.

[Shycarrot]

It's difficult to know for sure since we aren't in her shoes 

 

Is this the first time you face this issue ? Being avoided by younger women ? 

Are you appreciated in your workplace ? Do you have any enemies that could have gotten in touch with her ?

There are endless possibilities 

[MissCanuck]

You've posted this in the Relationship forum, so is it safe to assume you have a crush on her?

If so, she may have picked up on that and is merely trying to keep some distance between you and her. 

[smackie9]

Maybe you should take the time to talk to her to get to know her. 

[SooSad33]

10 hours ago, Abinash1973 said:

there is a female coworker much younger than me, she has been avoiding me from the day one. She don't look at me during discussion, Once she didn't come to a skype conference session. But she replies my text.

She replies to your texts?  So you have her phone number?  If this is a co worker, is there a reason for this?

I suggest you carry on.  Is there a reason you need to get closer than professionally?  So many times when things go badly at a work place ( due to things going beyond professional), it ends up badly and quite awkward 😕 .

Maybe just leave things as they are. 

[catfeeder]

Given that none of us can really know, I'd consider it to be work related and just respect it.

For instance, some people have been burned by being open and helpful with new coworkers who then became overly dependent. Others might just be too busy managing their own workload to be very welcoming.

I'd keep my distance and earn trust over time. Allow longevity to work it's natural magic on familiarity. If she never warms up, consider it her problem, not yours.

[jul-els]

If she does her job and isn’t difficult to deal with, it doesn’t matter. Unless you’re attracted to her. If that’s the case then I’d advise you to date outside of your workplace. Mixing work with your personal life lines you up for a lot of potential headaches that are easily avoided by not considering your co-workers in a romantic capacity. 

[Abinash1973]

Yes, there are many possibilities. And It is sure she is not in my side.

[Abinash1973]

On 8/22/2022 at 3:58 PM, Shycarrot said:

It's difficult to know for sure since we aren't in her shoes 

 

Is this the first time you face this issue ? Being avoided by younger women ? 

Are you appreciated in your workplace ? Do you have any enemies that could have gotten in touch with her ?

There are endless possibilities 

After firing the CEO, company's director and accounts advisor gave me the charge. I suspected this girl passing the information to the late CEO. She might have connection with the late CEO. And I have also informed this to the director. Director told me to spy on the girl, but I didn't get time. In my previous company this CEO was Marketing Manager, and I was not satisfied with his work.

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Abinash1973 said:

After firing the CEO, company's director and accounts advisor gave me the charge.. Director told me to spy on the girl.

How long have you worked there? It's doubtful anyone told you to stalk or spy on her. Do you have conspiracy theories or other paranoid situations in general?

[Abinash1973]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you worked there? It's doubtful anyone told you to stalk or spy on her. Do you have conspiracy theories or other paranoid situations in general?

It has been 2 Months. The director is very close. After disturbance created by the late CEO, he hired me. Lot complex, director had filed a FIR against the CEO, upon not returning the laptop other official documents.

[Abinash1973]

3 minutes ago, Abinash1973 said:

It has been 2 Months. The director is very close. After disturbance created by the late CEO, he hired me. Lot complex, director had filed a FIR against the CEO, upon not returning the laptop other official documents.

This girl was hired by the late CEO, the director was also suspecting this girl before I informed it him.

 

[Wiseman2]

 

4 minutes ago, Abinash1973 said:

It has been 2 Months. The director is very close. After disturbance created by the late CEO, he hired me. Lot complex, director had filed a FIR against the CEO, upon not returning the laptop other official documents.

Why would they do this in 60 days since you've been there? Do you have security, legal or tech expertise? What exactly is your title there? And leave this woman alone. 

[Abinash1973]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

 

Why would they do this in 60 days since you've been there? Do you have security, legal or tech expertise? What exactly is your title there? And leave this woman alone. 

I joined as Tech Lead. Yes, I am not interested in it. I want to let the things go its way.

[Cherylyn]

Let her aloof behavior be your guide.  Honor and respect her wishes.  Follow her cue.  If she's standoffish, then remain well mannered and professional.  Her behavior dictates what she prefers and what she's comfortable with.  It's all you can do.  She replies because it's job related. 

She may not be necessarily shy but you perceive her to be shy.  I can act "shy" but I'm really not shy if I'm not interested in getting to know anyone. 

Don't take it personally.  This is human nature and universal.  Most people are this way. 

[gamon]

She is avoiding you because she thinks you're weird.

 

 

[catfeeder]

On 8/28/2022 at 3:45 PM, Abinash1973 said:

I joined as Tech Lead. Yes, I am not interested in it. I want to let the things go its way.

This is smart. You already figured out the answer. If she was loyal to the guy that hired her, and they fired him, she's basically on notice that she may not be viewed favorably. She may believe that you had already been informed of this when you were hired.

It's good that you were not poisoned with that info on your way in, but it's wise of you to not consider it your problem.

The woman's performance will speak for itself, and it's better for your mental health to stay away from that.

Congrats on your new position!