Wonderstruck

Seriously. If I were her, I'd be like "Who do you think you are?" It was unnecessarily ENTITLED and AGGRESSIVE. To be honest, it sounds like she finds you pushy and annoying. Yeah, she's NOT interested.

This. And this. And definitely this. He CHOSE to be a pushy creep, who refused to take "No" for an answer. You HAD to ignore him, just to get him to back off. You don't owe him anything, and I would strongly recommend that you BLOCK him on all modes of communication, and stay away from him at work.

Yes, women do this DELIBERATELY because they DON'T want random men approaching them, trying to hit on them or ask them out, when they're just trying to peacefully go about their day. It's often one of the only ways to get men to BACK OFF and LEAVE US ALONE. And the term "b*tch shield" is absolutely disgusting. The men on those "men's forums" you frequent sound like creepy Incel losers. Stop holding women accountable for men's actions.

Thank you so much for this comment. There are even some very pathetic women who will do this, to try to show that they're "cool girls who are not like the other girls". @Superstickyone, you did NOTHING wrong, and please don't listen to any victim-blaming comments.

This is objectively NOT true. Trust me, if a 53 year-old man has a thing for/dates a 33 year-old woman, he's often seen as a CREEP. Yes, there will always be some other men who "high-five" him, as Kwothe28 said, but those men are just fellow creeps. Also, nobody actually sees a 33 year-old woman who dates a 53 year-old man as a "gold-digger", unless the guy is extraordinarily wealthy. Agreed. Everyone over the age of 50 is just seen as varying degrees of "old", so a lot of people don't have as much issue with two old people getting together. In fact, most people, including myself, think that it's sweet when two old people find each other, and are rooting for them! So, I say, go for it!

LMAO, and you believed this? Why would he bother going through the trouble of taking this convoluted, indirect route of letting you know his real age, as opposed to just telling you directly? And why wasn't his nonsensical response a complete turn-off for you? Well, as long as you're in a relationship with him, you better not age. I can't believe you decided to give him a second chance.

Wow, that's completely illegal. It is NOT OKAY to record someone without their knowledge and consent. And the fact that you were willing to commit this creepy, invasive, and ILLEGAL act just to hold onto some lowlife who treated you as nothing more than a "sidepiece"? Yeah, you're right, your self-esteem is bottom-of-the-barrel LOW. Hopefully you have deleted the recording, and will NEVER do something like that again.

Wow, you're NOT getting it. This girl is NOT interested in you. It's a WRAP. Don't become that creepy guy who can't take a hint.

How did you "notice" this, especially so quickly after she put up the new profile? Were you searching her name on different dating apps or something? Also, it's really none of your business this early on if she has a new profile on another dating app. She doesn't owe you anything. Maybe, since she already admitted that the kiss "caught her off-guard" and "threw her off", she just went along with it because she felt taken aback and pressured, in the moment. Maybe she didn't have the courage, in the moment, to say "I don't typically kiss on the first date, and I'm not comfortable with this." That's essentially what she ended up telling you on Tuesday evening, after she had some time to get her bearings and clear her head on how she really felt. You're NOT "only saying this part for context", you're 100% trying to insinuate that she "owes" you another date. NO, SHE DOESN'T. She doesn't owe you ANYTHING. You CHOSE to drive an hour to see her, you CHOSE to pay for everything, and you CHOSE to buy her flowers. Doing all of those things doesn't mean that she is OBLIGATED to go on another date with you. She is more than entitled to never see you again. No, it wouldn't be a "raw deal", because AGAIN, she DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. She doesn't owe you "a second chance".

This is called "weaponized incompetence". Basically, it's a way to avoid having to contribute equally to household or child-rearing tasks, by suggesting that it would just be easier if the other person did it because "they're better at it" or "they're the one that usually does it". It's also a deliberate way to frustrate you so much that you will eventually give up and stop asking him to help you out. What redeeming qualities does this guy have? He sounds AWFUL. Do you really want to have to mother a grown man?

Yeah, this was her way of trying to "let you down gently". A lot of women don't feel comfortable directly turning down a guy, so they will resort to more passive moves like inviting a friend as a "buffer", in order to make it CLEAR that you guys are "just friends". No woman who was genuinely interested in a guy would ever say "You two would make a good couple!" about the guy and ANOTHER woman. She said that as ANOTHER way of conveying to you that she is NOT interested in being more than friends. I would strongly recommend this. And I would discourage you from "walking right through that", because "walking right through" women's boundaries and guardrails, that they have put in place for a REASON, isn't going to play out the way that you want it to. If you DO decide to go, please don't be shocked or angry if she doesn't want to be more than friends. And please respect any decision she makes.

You didn't do this because you're "nice", you did it because you're that guy who's waiting in the wings, hoping to have a chance with her, even though she has made it clear that she is NOT interested in you. That is NOT being "nice". Also, women are not obligated to be interested in you simply because you're a "nice guy". That's something that you should be, REGARDLESS if it attracts women or not.

This. I can't believe he had the audacity to admit to you that you were essentially his "Fallback Girl". I wouldn't even consider going out on a date with him.

@Radiant41, no, you are NOT leading him on whatsoever. He's just refusing to take "No" for an answer, and trying to "wear you down", as so many creepy, entitled men try to do. And this is EXACTLY why I have no regrets or remorse over "getting mean" with men who REFUSE to politely "take the hint" and BACK OFF. Unfortunately, it's often the only way to get them to leave you alone. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I hate hearing about men who make women feel uncomfortable, especially at their place of work.

This. You shouldn't have to explain basic decency, loyalty, and respect to him like a CHILD. I suspect that THIS is the reason behind his behaviour. @JosieC, please break up with this guy as soon as possible, and find a guy who would never dream of acting in such a creepy, immature, and disrespectful way.