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About Me

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  1. First time poster so be gentle! Been in this relationship for just under 4 years and we were committed to each other bought a fixer-upper house 6 months ago, moved closer to his parents and attended his sister's wedding as a couple. We have been talking marriage and engagement rings and had even started looking at where we'd like to settle down in the next 5 years Days after the wedding he gets FOMO of the travelling that people a couple of years older then him have done and how he feels like he is unhappy in life and trapped in the situation. Also distressed over personal issues - friends and family illness. We talk and make steps to travel more and complete the house ASAP to give him the freedom he wants. Days later he wakes up and says were incompatible and on different paths. To explain I'm studying and working so am pretty busy beyond a 9-5 but I've always included him in these decisions, and was also in the process of moving to a less demanding job. But rather than tell me how much this is affecting him and that he doesn't feel prioritised he allowed me to go ok thinking he was ok with it all. Anyway I leave that morning, no argument just go. Three weeks on I'm getting all sorts of mixed signals - i.e. he still loves and misses me, he wants to reconnect in a year and see if we realign, he needs to find peace and not be in a relationship, but is keeping the personalised necklace he made me, wanting to be friends, not knowing what he wants in the future and understandably my head's spinning. I feel like he just got fed up of waiting for me which makes me feel awful because I never knew he was waiting. After making plans to sell the house as soon as possible, I'm terrified that I'm going to lose him, he won't come back or review his decision, and that this decision was basically made for me whilst I still love him and have been honestly heartbroken crying everyday and struggling to sleep. Having spoken to family and friends everyone is shocked and just as lost as to where his head is as I am, and my question is what do I do? I want him back I know that but I also know he has to go and figure out what he wants in life and probably speak to someone about his feelings. I just don't know what to do at the moment. Is this just something men go through? I don't understand how he went from being so excited to build a new life and home, to stressed and pushing me away in 6 months. To me he just seems so confused but I can't pressure any decision he makes which is hard when it impacts me and my life.
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