Jump to content

am i doing the right thing..


Recommended Posts

Well , i decided to give my self a chance after my heart  get broke, i was so tired and exhausted..., then suddenly without any introduction,  i was on Ig ,i found a request , it was someone , we start talking , and day after day we found each other sharing the  same intrest , the same thoughts , for me that was kinda weird , like , it was something to help me to heal ..to move on .., we becoms so close to eachothers , and he always give the attention ,he always ask me about my day, i know it small details but believe me , that always make me feel good , the last night ,we were tlking like the usual , until he said" I love you" , i was kinda surprise , then i said love u too ..then we continued talking...

i don't know but sometimes i feel kinda bad about this , maybe because of the fact that we will never met in real live...i don't wanna hurt him ...and ofc i don't wanna get hurt again...but he really make me happy...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 minutes ago, Fonaloma said:

  i was on Ig ,i found a request , it was someone , we start talking , and day after day we found each other sharing the  same intrest , .

Be careful about catfish, scammers and entities who randomly solicit you on social media.

 Read up on romance scams. Block and delete this person.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting real life men in person.

You never met this entity so it's not real.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds like you're clinging on to anyone who types a message to you with words you interpret as caring about you as an individual, even from a complete stranger.  When you're in that state of mind it's so easy to fall prey to a scammer.  Please avoid being in this sort of contact with strangers right now.  If you want to feel good about yourself my suggestion is - make a playlist of music that you love and/or download podcasts you love. 

Then fill a water bottle, put on comfortable workout clothing and dress for outside - walk as fast as you possibly can -or run if you wish  -for at least 20 minutes outside hopefully where you can see trees/greenery.  Really work up a sweat, really feel your heart beating, your muscles working.  Even if it's raining or really cold/hot.  Try to do a speed of at least 3 to 3.5 mph (or equivalent in KM)

Get into your zone so all you're experiencing is your body working hard, enoy the music or podcast or audiobook, and hydrate as you go.  When you get back take a long hot shower, get into comfy clothes (if you don't have to go anywhere, PJs) and if it was cold out make some coffee or tea and call a friend or read a book or watch a show.

That works just as well as what you are doing and it's a win win - you'll feel more yourself, you'll likely have some adrenaline/endorphins and your body will thank you.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's a saying, "Don't go to the supermarket hungry.  You'll eat just about anything"

You so much as admitted you have a void in your life.  When you are lonely and vulnerable, such as you describe you become a target for people who sense that vulnerability.  There are a larger number of those on line looking to take advantage of someone just like you.

He clearly doesn't know you.  You both fill in those unknown parts with your fantasy, ideal partner.  But it never lives up to real life.

Nothing wrong with cyber friendships, but it shouldn't replace real life interactions and activities.  It's similar to a quick fix, short lived high you might get from a drug.  That instant gratification creates complacency, and you find yourself not doing to necessary work going about your real life and fulfilling yourself in healthier ways.

Your own words suggest you know there is something not quite right with this interaction.  Listen to your intuition.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

For your own well-being, never take a strange seriously when they say they love you. 

Yes, it feels good to hear it but it's not sincere. You don't know this person, and he doesn't know you. What you know about him may or may not be anywhere near the truth. Unless and until you meet in person, consider this a digital pen-pal. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Fonaloma said:

Well , i decided to give my self a chance after my heart  get broke, i was so tired and exhausted..., then suddenly without any introduction,  i was on Ig ,i found a request , it was someone , we start talking , and day after day we found each other sharing the  same intrest , the same thoughts , for me that was kinda weird , like , it was something to help me to heal ..to move on .., we becoms so close to eachothers , and he always give the attention ,he always ask me about my day, i know it small details but believe me , that always make me feel good , the last night ,we were tlking like the usual , until he said" I love you" , i was kinda surprise , then i said love u too ..then we continued talking...

i don't know but sometimes i feel kinda bad about this , maybe because of the fact that we will never met in real live...i don't wanna hurt him ...and ofc i don't wanna get hurt again...but he really make me happy...

Can it be an internet fling and then block and delete? Try not to take it seriously as you know you don't know the person. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. We've all been there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mentally healthy, together people are too busy living their lives in their locales to be seeking out long distance connections. When you think about this realistically, a good-looking guy who has everything going for him will already be dating someone or  is already married. Because decent, good-looking guys who have all their ducks in a row, and want romance, get snapped up quickly by smart women.

On average of twice a month, I get friend requests on social media from men, or rather identity stealers, who have clearly stolen a good-looking guy's photo and created a fake profile. I have never accepted any requests from strangers. It's a very dangerous practice. Think of it as welcoming the devil into your house when he knocks.

You have the skills to heal without that nonsense. It just takes time plus pampering yourself. Let yourself go through these stages without attention from any men, and especially avoid strangers online. 

Being by yourself for a while until you feel good solo will eventually get you to a better mindset before seeking romance again. When you do, vow to sticking to communicating with and dating men who live within an easy driving distance to you. The vetting process is much more realistic do that. Take care.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Well at least you acknowledge what this is, where it could possibly end up (heartbreak) and not the most healthiest of things to do. I get it, it's like a drug you need your daily fix. Eventually it will end/fade or whatever. You will have to assess this and make a decision but you don't have to do it right away. Maybe have a honest talk with this bloke, and express your thoughts on it, and take it from there. I think as long as you both have an understanding that this thing you have doesn't have a future, you can navigate this with more caution before getting in too deep. Maybe just make it more of a friendship rather than anything romantic. If there is any talk of asking for money or sending money to him, you simply block/delete...it's a scam/this person isn't real. 

Edited by smackie9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Guide To Building Her Interest And Sexual Attraction)
      Learn how to make a woman want you sexually! In today's video we're talking about sexual attraction and how you make a woman want you! We're going to be discussing some useful tips you can put to work to get a woman interested in you and building that sexual desire. Often men think they know exactly what women want, men in sports cars with big houses a big wallet and a bad boy attitude. This might be what the ladies want in movies but not in real life it's very different. To know what a lady wants you need to understand what you need to do to make her want you sexually. Imagine if you knew the secret formula to do this, the one that tells you exactly what women want sexually. The formula would let you know exactly what you need to do to get a woman to fall into your arms, sounds too good to be true right? Well it's not! It's as easy as being mindful of your own behaviour and adopting steel-proof boundaries. Want to know some more? Well don't move an inch.

       
      • 0 replies
    • How to know when he's really fallen in LOVE
      You’re falling in love with your man deeper every day, but you don’t know if he feels the same way for you. It’s natural to want to know his feelings for you. What happens when he doesn’t say it or he’s not the type to say that? His actions tell you he loves you, but you could be wrong, right? So how do you know when he’s really in love with you? It’s not always so easy, but it’s not impossible either!

       
      • 0 replies
    • 6 Psychological Secrets of Attraction
      Knowing whether or not someone is “into you” can be incredibly difficult if they don’t explicitly say it. In this video, we will be looking at some psychological secrets of attraction.

       
      • 0 replies
    • This Healing Mindset That Helps Overcome Trauma Symptoms
      If you grew up with neglect and abuse, you've needed time to talk about what happened, and how parents and others treated you. But THEN what? Once you've acknowledged the past and gained an understanding of how you developed symptoms of trauma, how can you overcome those symptoms, and move forward with building a happy and fulfilled life? In this video I teach about the two general categories of comments I see on my channel, and what that suggestions about the commenter's readiness to heal.

       
      • 0 replies
    • "I Want A Girlfriend" Do THIS First
      I want a girlfriend. Have you ever found yourself thinking "I want a girlfriend" but you're not quite sure if you're actually ready for one? Before you go about doing anything else it's important to make sure that you actually need a girlfriend right now.

       
        • Like
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...