Taking too long

[SL1]

Currently texting this guy and he takes ages to reply back, I know people are busy but it takes the piss, would it be that he’s not interested and just being polite? 
 

It is making me think my conversation topics are boring? Lol

[Whoeveriam]

Build your relationship on the phone and in person. If you don't feel comfortable with those 2 methods of communication with him, you aren't ready for a relationship. 

[Coily]

Depending on what the guy does for work, he may not be able to promptly respond. Some people also are not avid texters, or are cyclical in how they communicate.

The real question isn't about your topics, it is are you interested enough in this guy to keep the texts up?

If their style of communications isn't compatible then maybe best to leave well enough alone.

[SL1]

22 minutes ago, Coily said:

Depending on what the guy does for work, he may not be able to promptly respond. Some people also are not avid texters, or are cyclical in how they communicate.

The real question isn't about your topics, it is are you interested enough in this guy to keep the texts up?

If their style of communications isn't compatible then maybe best to leave well enough alone.

To be honest, with his work he is very busy at the minute so I probably am over thinking and it’s been a while since i sort of would want to maybe meet up and go on dates as normally I don’t care? So this has made me think and to stop being crazy. 

[Kwothe28]

There is simply too little information OP. He could be interested or not, just busy or just an Ahole who just doesnt care and responds whatever just to respond. So:

Does he compliments you?

Are texts long and engaging or short and you have to pull words out of his mouth?

Has he expressed any interest in actually dating you in any form?

People carry their phones everywhere with them now. So that doesnt warrant really long not responding period. However, there are multiple reasons why he is maybe doing that, and they have nothing to do with him liking you or not. Maybe he is just busy(learned not to take that excuse, if they care they will contact, but some people maybe are just busy and cant prioritize engaging somebody and texting at the moment), or just a bad texter so he needs more time to respond properly. So until you give us more information about your conversations, we cant really tell you if he likes you or not just on how long he needs to respond. It's not certanly a positive thing, but it means nothing without more info.

[SL1]

1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said:

There is simply too little information OP. He could be interested or not, just busy or just an Ahole who just doesnt care and responds whatever just to respond. So:

Does he compliments you?

Are texts long and engaging or short and you have to pull words out of his mouth?

Has he expressed any interest in actually dating you in any form?

People carry their phones everywhere with them now. So that doesnt warrant really long not responding period. However, there are multiple reasons why he is maybe doing that, and they have nothing to do with him liking you or not. Maybe he is just busy(learned not to take that excuse, if they care they will contact, but some people maybe are just busy and cant prioritize engaging somebody and texting at the moment), or just a bad texter so he needs more time to respond properly. So until you give us more information about your conversations, we cant really tell you if he likes you or not just on how long he needs to respond. It's not certanly a positive thing, but it means nothing without more info.

To be fair, the conversations aren’t short and he is quite engaging and asking questions etc but it was just the period of time I was wondering about and as you said there everyone these days has their phones everywhere with them! Maybe it’s only early days I suppose. 

[Kwothe28]

22 minutes ago, SL1 said:

To be fair, the conversations aren’t short and he is quite engaging and asking questions etc but it was just the period of time I was wondering about and as you said there everyone these days has their phones everywhere with them! Maybe it’s only early days I suppose. 

OK. But has he expressed any interest other then that? Does he contacts you first? Compliments? Maybe mentioned he wants to take you out?

Just texts doesnt mean much. That is a very low minimal form of engagement with somebody. Fine for todays time but still nothing if it doesnt turn into concrete thing. 

[LootieTootie]

If someone is interested they will make time. anything other than that, accept it as not interested. It will make things soooo much easier.

[Rose Mosse]

Have you met him yet?

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, SL1 said:

Currently texting this guy and he takes ages to reply back

Define "ages" here. 

For some, it's a day or more. For others, it's a few hours. 

[1a1a]

A guy who ended up liking me very much takes a long time to reply, especially if the response requires thinking and more than a few words. He keeps his phone away when he’s with his friends, has trouble switching gears between working and texting and sometimes crashes out instead of replying. Always though the reply would come as soon as he’s able and would touch on most of what I said. 
 

I agree with the others, extend the invitation once, see if this guy would like to meet in person. If he does and that goes well leave it some space and see if he makes the next invitation.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, SL1 said:

Currently texting this guy and he takes ages to reply back,

Are you interested in dating him? Have you met in person?

Texting is not dating. So if there's zero mention of meeting you can assume it's a scammer, catfish, someone in a relationship or just a timewaster.

Move forward. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men for a low-key coffee.

 

[poorlittlefish]

7 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

If someone is interested they will make time. anything other than that, accept it as not interested. It will make things soooo much easier.

I take it as a sign of insufficient interest.  There have been times when I've messaged back to say that as I've not heard from them I'm going to assume the interest isn't there and wish them all the best with finding someone more compatible.  Funnily enough, that tends to make them reply, but by that point I've lost interest in bothering with someone who couldn't be bothered with me.

[SL1]

7 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

Have you met him yet?

No I haven’t met him yet, i had said I’m quite busy the next few weekends (which I am) so he hasn’t mentioned anything yet but maybe I am overthinking as it is still quite early days. 

[SL1]

2 hours ago, 1a1a said:

A guy who ended up liking me very much takes a long time to reply, especially if the response requires thinking and more than a few words. He keeps his phone away when he’s with his friends, has trouble switching gears between working and texting and sometimes crashes out instead of replying. Always though the reply would come as soon as he’s able and would touch on most of what I said. 
 

I agree with the others, extend the invitation once, see if this guy would like to meet in person. If he does and that goes well leave it some space and see if he makes the next invitation.

Yeah to be fair he is currently away for work and is busy! But I mean sometimes it’s day replies but then he would reply to everything I’ve said and it’s not short replies either? So I have said to him I’m busy the next few weekends but I feel when I have abit if time I may ask if he wanted to meet or something? Give myself abit more clarity - thanks for this! 

[SL1]

4 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Define "ages" here. 

For some, it's a day or more. For others, it's a few hours. 

We are both 26, so abit old for games, although I don’t feel like it is?, this situation feels different to me then normal, I’m enjoying texting him and usually guys ask you after an hour of texting to meet and that puts me off but I feel it’s abit different this time? That’s why I want to keep in contact etc 

[Batya33]

19 minutes ago, SL1 said:

No I haven’t met him yet, i had said I’m quite busy the next few weekends (which I am) so he hasn’t mentioned anything yet but maybe I am overthinking as it is still quite early days. 

Suggest a meet.  Then let him ask you out for a first date.  Meeting is not a date. Meet for coffee.  Talk by phone first for at least 15-20 minutes for safety and to see if you actually would have something in common to have a conversation using your voice.  One of the reasons he might be delaying is you are a stranger for all dating purposes and he might be focusing on people he can date in person.  If he is hesitant to meet/ gives excuses, move on unless you want a once in awhile chat buddy.

It's not a game.  He shouldn't be asking out a woman he never met in person - one of you should suggest a first meet -for a walk during the day or coffee during the day for an hour.  or less. I met over 100 men in person.  Several of them I suggested meeting on the first phone call after the first email.  Because I had enough friends and didn't need any chat buddies.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, SL1 said:

 sometimes it’s day replies but then he would reply to everything I’ve said and it’s not short replies either? 

Is he married/ living with someone.

Scale way back on the texting until you meet in person.

If you are too busy to date ("I'm busy for several weekends") don't expect anyone to stay interested.

Are you married/ living with someone? Why are you wasting time on this if you claim you're too busy to meet and he's too busy to meet?

[DarkCh0c0]

1 hour ago, SL1 said:

No I haven’t met him yet, i had said I’m quite busy the next few weekends

So what is the point of him chatting with you if you are not available for a date right now? You're basically a stranger to him, so not really a priority. When you have time to go back to dating, you can ask if he can meet and hang out. Otherwise, there's no use of keeping up a lot of chatting when you don't know each other.

[SL1]

23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is he married/ living with someone.

Scale way back on the texting until you meet in person.

If you are too busy to date ("I'm busy for several weekends") don't expect anyone to stay interested.

Are you married/ living with someone? Why are you wasting time on this if you claim you're too busy to meet and he's too busy to meet?

No I’m not married I’m single and he is the same and I meant as in busy with holidays I’m heading with my friends that I had booked previously to chatting with him, I didn’t say I was too busy to date - the way I have worded this may have come across as that but didn’t mean it that way!

[1a1a]

Could always invite him to do a phone call if you can wrangle time for that. 

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, SL1 said:

We are both 26, so abit old for games, although I don’t feel like it is?, this situation feels different to me then normal, I’m enjoying texting him and usually guys ask you after an hour of texting to meet and that puts me off but I feel it’s abit different this time? That’s why I want to keep in contact etc 

My question still stands: how long does it take him to reply? 

[SL1]

12 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

My question still stands: how long does it take him to reply? 

A few hours? And recently nearly half a day but then he had noted he was super busy? - am I over thinking this whole thing? 

[MissCanuck]

1 minute ago, SL1 said:

A few hours? And recently nearly half a day but then he had noted he was super busy? - am I over thinking this whole thing? 

Yes, I think so. 

I cannot respond to messages for several hours at a time when I'm at work. I don't have the sort of job where I can keep my phone handy. Or I have other things I'm doing and don't want to be having text conversations on my phone. So, I save my responses for a time when I can pay more attention. 

I would not read so much into this, if I were you. 

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, SL1 said:

A few hours? And recently nearly half a day but then he had noted he was super busy? - am I over thinking this whole thing? 

He's not looking for a textbuddy. Is this a distance situation?

As long as you haven't met and he won't suggest meeting, assume very low interest that will keep declining because you're "busy for several weekends".