I love my boyfriend but I want to date someone else

[Duckpond78]

To give some context, I adore my boyfriend of 2 years. He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy. However I met someone randomly, we got along really well and the attraction was mutual. I didn’t act on anything (told them I had a partner) but some boundaries were crossed (flirting and touching). A few months pass and I’ve gotten into contact with them and we met up. Obviously all done behind my partners back. I really love him and don’t want to break up with him but I wonder what if with this new person. I don’t see it working out so I don’t feel like it’s worth breaking up, but I can’t help but still wonder what if I’m missing out on something special. 

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, Duckpond78 said:

I met someone randomly, we got along really well and the attraction was mutual.  I’ve gotten into contact with them and we met up.

If you are still interested in dating others, don't use your BF as a security blanket.

[adviceplease2]

Move on, break it off with your BF, you've already mentally checked out anyway.

[HeartGoesOn]

If this were to happen, take a look of what you'll probably lose, before rolling the dice.  You simply can't have the best of both worlds  by shopping around, and leaving your boyfriend in the dark.

Keep in mind that the grass is not always greener on the other side.

 

[melancholy123]

You dont love your bf like you claim you do or you wouldn't be interested in this other guy.  Make up your mind.  If you want the other guy then break up with your current bf.

[Batya33]

You might love him but you're not committed to him anymore and it sounds like he's right on paper but not right for you.  You have the dream of someone else and meeting this person confirmed that (see the movie You've Got Mail where this line is from).  Understand that this new guy now knows that you are not loyal and you cheat so consider that. Is he single? 

When you're with the right person you know might know technically there might be someone even better (because you haven't met all eligible guys LOL) -but it's technical only and you have zero interest in finding out and have no fear of missing out on a better opportunity.  IMHO.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Duckpond78 said:

He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy.

He might be great, but evidently is not the right one for you. Something big is missing from your relaitonship. 

You wouldn't even be entertaining the thought of dating someone else otherwise, much less engaging in inapporpriate behaviour like flirting and touching. 

Whether or not this new guy is a match actually isn't that relevant. What is relevant is that you have emotionally checked out of your relationship already. You have some hard truths to face, OP. 

 

[catfeeder]

3 hours ago, Duckpond78 said:

He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy.

Just not happy enough not to stray.

This doesn't make you a villain, but if you love BF enough to want the best for him, doesn't he deserve to find someone who WANTS to be loyal to him?

Consider that, and consider whether trying to hold onto him could ruin your own future.

Some people are best loved from far away.

[smackie9]

You admire your BF but you are no longer in love with your BF. If you desire to explore, do it on your own time not your BF's...cut him loose. 

[Rose Mosse]

On 2/20/2022 at 8:13 AM, Duckpond78 said:

To give some context, I adore my boyfriend of 2 years. He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy. However I met someone randomly, we got along really well and the attraction was mutual. I didn’t act on anything (told them I had a partner) but some boundaries were crossed (flirting and touching). A few months pass and I’ve gotten into contact with them and we met up. Obviously all done behind my partners back. I really love him and don’t want to break up with him but I wonder what if with this new person. I don’t see it working out so I don’t feel like it’s worth breaking up, but I can’t help but still wonder what if I’m missing out on something special. 

Maybe this is all you've known. Turn the tables around and ask yourself if you'd like your partner to be doing this to you behind your back. 

I'd also question the character of someone who is willing to engage in an affair like this. Know that you may not be the only woman he's engaging with on the side.

[Seraphim]

Time to break up .