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I love my boyfriend but I want to date someone else


Duckpond78
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To give some context, I adore my boyfriend of 2 years. He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy. However I met someone randomly, we got along really well and the attraction was mutual. I didn’t act on anything (told them I had a partner) but some boundaries were crossed (flirting and touching). A few months pass and I’ve gotten into contact with them and we met up. Obviously all done behind my partners back. I really love him and don’t want to break up with him but I wonder what if with this new person. I don’t see it working out so I don’t feel like it’s worth breaking up, but I can’t help but still wonder what if I’m missing out on something special. 

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10 minutes ago, Duckpond78 said:

I met someone randomly, we got along really well and the attraction was mutual.  I’ve gotten into contact with them and we met up.

If you are still interested in dating others, don't use your BF as a security blanket.

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You might love him but you're not committed to him anymore and it sounds like he's right on paper but not right for you.  You have the dream of someone else and meeting this person confirmed that (see the movie You've Got Mail where this line is from).  Understand that this new guy now knows that you are not loyal and you cheat so consider that. Is he single? 

When you're with the right person you know might know technically there might be someone even better (because you haven't met all eligible guys LOL) -but it's technical only and you have zero interest in finding out and have no fear of missing out on a better opportunity.  IMHO.

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3 hours ago, Duckpond78 said:

He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy.

Just not happy enough not to stray.

This doesn't make you a villain, but if you love BF enough to want the best for him, doesn't he deserve to find someone who WANTS to be loyal to him?

Consider that, and consider whether trying to hold onto him could ruin your own future.

Some people are best loved from far away.

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On 2/20/2022 at 8:13 AM, Duckpond78 said:

To give some context, I adore my boyfriend of 2 years. He is perfect and everything I have ever wanted, makes me feel very happy. However I met someone randomly, we got along really well and the attraction was mutual. I didn’t act on anything (told them I had a partner) but some boundaries were crossed (flirting and touching). A few months pass and I’ve gotten into contact with them and we met up. Obviously all done behind my partners back. I really love him and don’t want to break up with him but I wonder what if with this new person. I don’t see it working out so I don’t feel like it’s worth breaking up, but I can’t help but still wonder what if I’m missing out on something special. 

Maybe this is all you've known. Turn the tables around and ask yourself if you'd like your partner to be doing this to you behind your back. 

I'd also question the character of someone who is willing to engage in an affair like this. Know that you may not be the only woman he's engaging with on the side.

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