Confused relationship

[Shanwa]

Hi, I'm 24 now. When I was 14 one of my classmates brought a love proposal to me(say x). I rejected him, later in time we continued being friends . At present, I've been in a relationship with other guy(say y) since an year. y is a nice guy but he is not sure about taking the relationship forward. Last week x proposed me again (this time marriage proposal) after 10 years saying that he never felt like that with anyone and it doesn't matter how much time it is but his love will be same for me. There are many differences between us, he said we can work on those things. He deserves yes as an answer. relationship with him seems long-lasting. But I rejected him again because I'm in relationship. Since a week I started thinking about him. But breaking up with y for x doesn't seem fair. I need advice on this issue.

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Shanwa said:

Hi, I'm 24 now. When I was 14 one of my classmates brought a love proposal to me. Last week x proposed me again this time marriage proposal.

When was the last time you saw him in person?

Is this for the purpose of arranged marriage? 

 What do you mean by your current BF "won't take it further"?

[LotusBlack]

30 minutes ago, Shanwa said:

Hi, I'm 24 now. When I was 14 one of my classmates brought a love proposal to me(say x). I rejected him, later in time we continued being friends . At present, I've been in a relationship with other guy(say y) since an year. y is a nice guy but he is not sure about taking the relationship forward. Last week x proposed me again (this time marriage proposal) after 10 years saying that he never felt like that with anyone and it doesn't matter how much time it is but his love will be same for me. There are many differences between us, he said we can work on those things. He deserves yes as an answer. relationship with him seems long-lasting. But I rejected him again because I'm in relationship. Since a week I started thinking about him. But breaking up with y for x doesn't seem fair. I need advice on this issue.

I would not marry someone you have never been in a relationship with unless it was arranged and I had no choice in the matter. If it is practiced in your culture to be set up with and married to people you don’t know or barely know but you have some say and choice in the decision-making, then I’d hold off on any serious, long-term life decisions (such as marriage) until a significant amount of time has passed and you’ve developed a healthy awareness of your partner’s character.

From what you gave written, your boyfriend is not the right person for you because he isn’t interested in taking the relationship further. The other boy might be a good match for you, but you should never pursue a relationship for the sole purpose of being in a relationship; it should be because you like that person and want to blend your lives together. 

Perhaps end things with your current boyfriend and stay single for a while. If you want, pursue a friendship with “x” and see if you have a foundation for a romantic relationship, then go from there. 

[Capricorn3]

2 hours ago, Shanwa said:

. He deserves yes as an answer.

But I rejected him again because I'm in relationship.

He says he "deserves yes as an answer"?  He's never even dated you! (But, I am assuming this would be a cultural thing where arranged marriages are the norm).

If you're already in a relationship then you did the right thing by rejecting him.  You also mention there are many differences between you.  I would be very wary of this.

[catfeeder]

Going straight from zero-to-marriage proposal makes no sense.

If current BF is a great guy but still has you feeling as though he's not your lifetime match, then stop wasting your time--and his--and get out of that.

From there, you can grieve, heal, then normalize into a position of clearer thinking about what you want and discovering healthy ways to get it.

You can't reach that higher ground by settling into a relationship that leaves room for wishing you were with someone else, regardless of who that someone else might be.

[SooSad33]

9 hours ago, Shanwa said:

after 10 years saying that he never felt like that with anyone and it doesn't matter how much time it is but his love will be same for me. There are many differences between us, he said we can work on those things.

First off,, If you do have feelings for y, then don't go back to this with x.

And he has NO idea what a relationship with you would be like!  It has been 10 years now.  He's going on fantasy.

As for your differences, no, he can't change any of that.  You already know your differences and that's also what is affecting you isn't it?  Then do not drop y.

[MissCanuck]

7 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

He's never even dated you! (But, I am assuming this would be a cultural thing where arranged marriages are the norm).

 I was going to ask this too - is this common in your part of the world, OP?

Because going from zero to marriage would be incredibly reckless. When was the last time you even saw your childhood crush? 

[Shanwa]

2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

is this common in your part of the world,

Yes, arranged marriages are quite common here. Also the situation with 'y' is that another thread where you commented

[Rose Mosse]

Just say no to both if they’re not right to you. Ask for better matches with a matchmaker or see someone in your community for advice.