Is it normal my GF still talking online friends from dating sites on her social media accounts?

[Temporaryaccount]

Hi,

I have a question if my girlfriend talk to other guys she knows them before me when she got dating app and she add them on her social media accounts such as WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, etc! I am completely okay with guys Real friends she knows but they’re mostly from different Countries and cultures.

we’re on long distance relationship and also I know her from dating site but I already closed my account and she too as she told me but she still received a messages from strangers also today she said is it ok to talk her online friends from dating sites before and i before disagreeing about that and she says ok but when she said it today I say ok but I am not feeling good because she already know how I our relationship and she should appreciate it too because we had fights before when she accepting random messages from strangers. I am planing to move and be with her and I do a lot of efforts to make it happen soon but I am still worrying if she not make Sure of me. I ask to know is that normal because I don't want to overreact, but I don't feel good! 

[Wiseman2]

Have you met in person yet?

[MissCanuck]

46 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Have you met in person yet?

This is my first question too

[boltnrun]

53 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Have you met in person yet?

That was going to be my first question too.

[SooSad33]

How long have you two been involved?

If a short time, I suggest you do NOT plan on just moving to her.. yet. Especially if you feel off about her. ( chatting with other guys etc).

But, does not mean she is cheating.. I know a few people who still have dating profiles. They may go on, but they don't contact anyone.

 

[Temporaryaccount]

7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Have you met in person yet?

Not yet But I committed to do after finishing my coursework this year. Also I am planning to move to study abroad to be with her.

[Temporaryaccount]

5 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

How long have you two been involved?

If a short time, I suggest you do NOT plan on just moving to her.. yet. Especially if you feel off about her. ( chatting with other guys etc).

But, does not mean she is cheating.. I know a few people who still have dating profiles. They may go on, but they don't contact anyone.

 

We’re 5months, and she said they’re just online friends, “guys,” but you know they’re coming from dating sites. Also, I know how guys will think bout girls talk to them. I am ok to speak to online friends but not these guys “from dating websites” before on her social accounts because I don’t want to say no to her because I trust Her. I don’t want to make her feel bad, but at the same time, I am worrying if I am not enough for her and she is still discovering her feelings.

[Temporaryaccount]

6 hours ago, boltnrun said:

That was going to be my first question too.

Not yet..

[boltnrun]

34 minutes ago, Mas said:

Not yet But I committed to do after finishing my coursework this year. Also I am planning to move to study abroad to be with her.

So you're also an online guy friend she met on the dating site, right?

Until you meet in person and date for a period of time you can't be in an actual relationship. 

Why don't you date locally? Aren't there any young ladies at your school you could date?

[Temporaryaccount]

I meet her online too. I am just comforted to talk with her more than local girls. And I love her.. that’s why I am with her and committed to moving to be with her this year and ask about our relationship here because i think some people can advise me! Whatever she is caring as she can even we’re in a long-distance relationship. Still, I am worried if she moves away from me; I hope you understand that…

[MissCanuck]

I'm sorry Mas, but if you haven't met her in person, this isn't a relationship. 

As such, she is free to talk to whomever she wants. You two just aren't being realistic about this and your expectations are not aligned with the reality of the sitution. You have never been on a date, much less developed a real relationship with each other.  You have a cyber friend here, not a girlfriend. 

Don't put yourself on hold for a stranger who lives so far away. She isn't doing the same for you, anyway. 

[Temporaryaccount]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

I'm sorry Mas, but if you haven't met her in person, this isn't a relationship. 

As such, she is free to talk to whomever she wants. You two just aren't being realistic about this and your expectations are not aligned with the reality of the sitution. You have never been on a date, much less developed a real relationship with each other.  You have a cyber friend here, not a girlfriend. 

Don't put yourself on hold for a stranger who lives so far away. She isn't doing the same for you, anyway. 

But she is encouraging me to take steps and be with her that’s why I think she is serious and honest with me.. but I couldn’t be comfort with the attitude to talk with guys she knows them from dating moments and she say always she comfort with me and want be with me forever  

[MissCanuck]

2 minutes ago, Mas said:

But she is encouraging me to take steps and be with her that’s why I think she is serious and honest with me.. but I couldn’t be comfort with the attitude to talk with guys she knows them from dating moments and she say always she comfort with me and want be with me forever  

You absolutely cannot and should not take this seriously when you have never met in person - especially coming from someone who's still chatting up random dudes online. She's filling your head with fluffy promises but those promises are based on zero tangible foundation. It would be very foolish to put all your eggs in this basket. 

You both sound young, and rather inexperienced and naive about relationships. But this is not what the start of mature, sustainable, and long-lasting relationships look like.

Have you dated much before, Mas? Had a girlfriend, in real life?

[Rose Mosse]

Don't move anywhere. Date locally and please don't fall for the stuff she's saying about her online friends. I'd take a good hard look at what you're trying to get away from or escape from in your current life or location. Why is your current area/city not good enough to meet women that you have to look for trouble like this online? 

 

[Temporaryaccount]

2 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

You absolutely cannot and should not take this seriously when you have never met in person - especially coming from someone who's still chatting up random dudes online. She's filling your head with fluffy promises but those promises are based on zero tangible foundation. It would be very foolish to put all your eggs in this basket. 

You both sound young, and rather inexperienced and naive about relationships. But this is not what the start of mature, sustainable, and long-lasting relationships look like.

Have you dated much before, Mas? Had a girlfriend, in real life?

She is older than me and graduated, but I am still in college, and I am finding uni where she is located, and I would move to there, and she helped me make contact with uni there. I am doing my best to be with her. We mostly talked together when accessible, and I appreciate it, but she is somewhat curious bout others, and I am ok with it. She sends me a screenshot of someone stranger's texts her, but she told me I am jealous of nothing. Still, I never ask her to send anything.. from the side, I stopped to talk with my ex-girlfriend.. and other girls and give her access to my social media accounts because I don’t want to hide anything from her. I know we don’t meet in person yet, but I am comfortable with her because she can understand me well.. but I can’t feel good when guys online friends from dating apps are still talking with her because they’re coming from dating apps! And I don’t want to judge her or ruin our relationship. I hope you understand me.. and I don’t want to make her feel bad if I push her to make something. I make a lot of effort to prepare myself to be with her. I don’t like to say it, but I can’t imagine if she is not committing as me. I am sorry bout bothered you.. 

[MissCanuck]

21 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Have you dated much before, Mas? Had a girlfriend, in real life?

And what about these questions?

[Temporaryaccount]

15 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Don't move anywhere. Date locally and please don't fall for the stuff she's saying about her online friends. I'd take a good hard look at what you're trying to get away from or escape from in your current life or location. Why is your current area/city not good enough to meet women that you have to look for trouble like this online? 

 

For the first time I talk with her I never mean to be a relationship in long distance in particular online I am just installed app at once time and found her front of me i liked the profile and she do the same we talked and moved insta then WhatsApp, after few talking on WhatsApp “video call” I am feeling comfort to talk with her bout everything in my life and she do the same and everything goes fast but it’s good time..  I told my parents bout her and they refused for a while but they accept if this my choice, I am choosing her because I am comfort with her even stay here with me or move to anywhere to be with her! I appreciate her feelings and accept me as I am.. I am here just for knowing if it’s fair for me to feel upset about she is doing? That’s it.. 

[Temporaryaccount]

6 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

And what about these questions?

 

9 minutes ago, Mas said:

I stopped to talk with my ex-girlfriend

My ex-girlfriend she at my uni..and we still friends.. 

[MissCanuck]

15 minutes ago, Mas said:

I am here just for knowing if it’s fair for me to feel upset about she is doing?

You can feel however you want, OP. There is no "fair" or "unfair" when it comes to feelings. 

The problem is that you two are not in a real relationshp, but you're trying to apply the same expectations of conduct to this. It doesn't work, as you're seeing. 

The fact that she's still talking to lots of guys tells you she is not serious about you, and you should move on. Definitely do not make the mistake of changing your whole life for this chick. You are more than likely going to absolutely regret it when you realize it was all a fantasy. 

[Wiseman2]

30 minutes ago, Mas said:

 because I don’t want to hide anything from her. 

Unfortunately if you never met everything about her and her real life is hidden because you've never seen it.

[Temporaryaccount]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

You can feel however you want, OP. There is no "fair" or "unfair" when it comes to feelings. 

The problem is that you two are not in a real relationshp, but you're trying to apply the same expectations of conduct to this. It doesn't work, as you're seeing. 

The fact that she's still talking to lots of guys tells you she is not serious about you, and you should move on. Definitely do not make the mistake of changing your whole life for this chick. You are more than likely going to absolutely regret it when you realize it was All a fantasy. 

She is just talking when they txt her not else that, I am thankful your advice I will consider it. Can you advise me something be a sign to know how she committed of me, please?

[MissCanuck]

6 minutes ago, Mas said:

Can you advise me something be a sign to know how she committed of me, please?

Having a real relationship in person, over a period of time. 

Not this online-only stuff. You can't get signs of commitment from someone halfway around the world that you have never met. 

[ellamei]

On 8/20/2021 at 9:07 AM, Temporaryaccount said:

Not yet But I committed to do after finishing my coursework this year. Also I am planning to move to study abroad to be with her.

You really do love her. But be careful and love yourself first before you completely give all your love for her. You'll never know if she's committed if you don't see her in person and ask her if she's committed to you or not. I was on LDR too for 7 years, I didn't mind him talking to other girls. I was devastated when he married another girl and I didn't even know or refused to see red flags. 

[Batya33]

Has she asked you for money or gifts or told you she gets money or gifts from other online people she chats with ?  I agree with the others. 

[smackie9]

You can't govern someones behavior long distance. You are not there so you really can't see what she chooses to do, or what she is doing. She could still be dating others. You are going at this blind and naive.

I suggest not to get in over your head, and keep your emotions in check. Pay her a visit first. Spend real time with her before deciding uprooting universities/your life for someone that's a stranger.