I feel like I can't say no to my boyfriend

[Sad girl summer]

For the past year I've felt like I can't say no to my boyfriend, not just sexually but in any situation, every time I'm wanting some space or just don't really feel like giving him a kiss or just holding his hand he gets all upset and then I have to comfort him, even in situations where I'm upset and I can't really talk about my feelings at the moment I want some space and he has a melt down and gets super upset, I don't want to blow up while I'm upset and I want to calm down first before I try to talk about why I'm upset, but it never gets to the point where I'm calmed down enough to talk to him it always ends in me comforting him and I don't get to explain or talk about what is upsetting me or what's stressing me out basically feels like I don't get to have an opinion or feelings in most of the relationship. Am I doing something wrong for wanting any kind of space ? Or just wanting to say no to some things cause I feel like I'm not even a girlfriend at this point and just a live in emotional support robot.

[Hollyj]

He sounds very manipulative, smothering, and needy.  What is attractive about this in a partner?

You have shown him that he can continue this behavior by allowing it.  This relationship is unhealthy and will get worse.  This is about him.  

Lose the bf and understand why you allowed it. 

[smackie9]

I was in a 5 year relationship with someone exactly like that. I tell ya it really wears you down. Don't waste years like I did. Get out now if you want to keep your sanity.

[SooSad33]

10 minutes ago, Sad girl summer said:

e felt like I can't say no to my boyfriend, not just sexually but in any situation, every time I'm wanting some space or just don't really feel like giving him a kiss or just holding his hand he gets all upset and then I have to comfort him,

Well, this explains why... HE acts out 😕 

 

11 minutes ago, Sad girl summer said:

even in situations where I'm upset and I can't really talk about my feelings at the moment I want some space and he has a melt down and gets super upset, I don't want to blow up while I'm upset and I want to calm down first before I try to talk about why I'm upset

Makes total sense!  You are entitled.. He sounds immature & way too needy.  you can't have that!

 

You live with him?  How old is he?

Yeah, if you feel like his emotional robot, no good for you.

IF he can't get a hold of himself.. he will drain you... UNLESS he backs off w/out his expectations, is best you back out of this... ( look at how you feel at this time).

 

[Wiseman2]

25 minutes ago, Sad girl summer said:

I can't really talk about my feelings at the moment I want some space and he has a melt down and gets super upset, I don't want to blow up while I'm upset

Sorry to hear this. It's very selfish and manipulative, but you know and sense that.

He seems a tad explosive if you are perpetually walking on eggs calming and comforting him.

Step way back from this. Do some reading/research on emotional abuse.

Immediately stop rewarding bad behavior. Walk away.

Do not confide in him. Talk to trusted adult family and friends instead.

If he starts whining, having a tirade, getting clingy/touchy, etc. terminate the conversation and go home.

 

[melancholy123]

You teach people how to treat you and because you always back down when he whines, he keeps doing it because it works!  You need a backbone.  Speak up for yourself,  He sounds like a manipulator.

Also, "NO" is a complete sentence.

[Capricorn3]

41 minutes ago, melancholy123 said:

You teach people how to treat you and because you always back down when he whines, he keeps doing it because it works!  You need a backbone.  Speak up for yourself,  He sounds like a manipulator.

Also, "NO" is a complete sentence.

^ This is worth repeating.  He treats you this way because you allow it.

[lostandhurt]

Wait what?  You are dating a baby???  So he is 5 years old?

  His emotional blackmail should not be working on you by this time.

What do you honestly think would happen if you stood your ground?

Lost

[catfeeder]

On 5/16/2021 at 5:41 PM, Sad girl summer said:

I've felt like I can't say no to my boyfriend,

Change the word "can't" to "won't" for accuracy, then make a better decision.