Tiffytaffy Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 The abusive alcoholic Its been a while since i’ve been here but i need help. Im suffering as the guy i’ve been with for a year has been awful to me. Im embarrassed and ashamed. He is a functioning narcissistic alcoholic who refuses to acknowledge it. He says he drinks to relax. Well large bottles of straight liquor a day to me is not relaxing as one glass of wine is. He”s an angry drunk too. He refuses to spend time with me now, has poor hygiene won’t tend to his foot odor, won’t brush his teeth, spends only about 2 minutes in shower so he never really smells good, has verbally abused me, taken food out of my hand and thrown it to the floor and expected me to eat it he felt it was ok to eat it since it was still in a box. Im always to blame for everything. He said I was breaking him financially when he has never paid a bill of mine or bought me anything and we don’t Go anywhere so how is it me!?!? He said I was weak and fake when he’s the alcoholic (weak) and lied about how he wanted to do this and do that for me in the beginning only to never do anything but degrade me. He criticizes my food and praises the food of other mens wives. And honestly some of there food was bland. The gifts ive gotten him for birthday and Xmas were not worn because he said he already had clothes or he would question the item and say what made you buy that. So he was ungrateful as well. He got mad once because i never took him to meet any family other than my parents yet he’s always too drunk or smelly or working so how could i!??! I think he’s even gone to work after drinking because now he can’t operate the company machines anymore because they’ve been getting damaged. He got defensive with his boss about that and i think he’s guilty of damaging the machines. Typing this i see I have endured a lot and now its like i have to beg him for time when I really should be glad he doesn’t wanna be around but im at battle with myself and ashamed for allowing this and just wish he would see the person i am and have been to him. I want to block him without saying why i just want to be done without the feelings and tears. Who i met last year is noT who he is today so i feel like he was the fake one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 Why dont you leave him & block him on everything? Do you live together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 23, 2020 Author Share Posted August 23, 2020 No we don’t live together. I want too Block and leave but its like i keep waiting or hoping for a change but i know deep down it won’t happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 23, 2020 Share Posted August 23, 2020 I'm sorry, but he will never change. You deserve so much better than him. The first step is admitting there is a problem, which you have done here. Take the next step & walk away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 23, 2020 Author Share Posted August 23, 2020 Thank you, i know i have some decisions to make Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Tell your family the truth. Ask them to stop you from going back to him because you will have weak moments when you forget how he really is and start to "miss him". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 My best friend is the only one who knows everything i’ve stated in my post. I’m too embarrassed to tell my parents. I’ve told them he drinks a little too much but I didn’t mention the extent or the abusive actions. I do agree its time to tell it all to them because i’d hate to turn around once i leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Yes. Just delete and block him and all his people. Get some support from a counselor and look into AlAnon support. Your addiction to him is like his addiction to booze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherylyn Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 My best friend is the only one who knows everything i’ve stated in my post. I’m too embarrassed to tell my parents. I’ve told them he drinks a little too much but I didn’t mention the extent or the abusive actions. I do agree its time to tell it all to them because i’d hate to turn around once i leave. He'll never change. My late father was a chain smoking alcoholic who punched my mother's teeth out. My mother said, "You can never change a man." Exit and dissolve this scary relationship NOW. Don't be too embarrassed to tell your parents. Tell the truth. Thank your lucky stars you don't live with him! Save yourself and get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smackie9 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Once you get out of his grip, you will be OK. Call your friend, make the breakup soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 Your mom is right. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 He'll never change. My late father was a chain smoking alcoholic who punched my mother's teeth out. My mother said, "You can never change a man." Exit and dissolve this scary relationship NOW. Don't be too embarrassed to tell your parents. Tell the truth. Thank your lucky stars you don't live with him! Save yourself and get out. Your mom is right. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 Once you get out of his grip, you will be OK. Call your friend, make the breakup soon. Thank you, i will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 Yes. Just delete and block him and all his people. Get some support from a counselor and look into AlAnon support. Your addiction to him is like his addiction to booze. Very true, thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 I had a friend who was a chain smoking alcoholic who was often verbally abusive, nasty, down right rotten as a friend. He would yell and scream about nothing, he imagined people slighted him when they didn't, he'd send abusive emails unprovoked. Sounds a lot like the slug you are mixed up with. I blocked and deleted him from my life, with friends like that, who needs enemies? I'd never known anyone like him before and he was not worth my time or effort. I couldn't fix him, he didn't think anything was wrong! He thought he was perfectly fine! He was mean and nasty to his over 80 yr old mother. I felt a hell of a lot better after removing him from my life and you will feel better once you dump this guy. Tell your parents, move in with them, do whatever it takes to reclaim your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Maybe, if you tell your family, it will help you stay away. Tell them! What do you get from this, as this guy is gross? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenixReborn Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Yes, get out. An alcoholic will lash out at whoever is there and blame them for his problems. That person is going to be you. He has gotten physical with you and it's likely to get worse. For your emotional and physical safety, it is best to leave now. I've watched the affect that dealing with an alcoholic has had on my mother. As hard as it was, he was not willing to change, so she was better off for leaving. She deserved better. So do you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 I had a friend who was a chain smoking alcoholic who was often verbally abusive, nasty, down right rotten as a friend. He would yell and scream about nothing, he imagined people slighted him when they didn't, he'd send abusive emails unprovoked. Sounds a lot like the slug you are mixed up with. I blocked and deleted him from my life, with friends like that, who needs enemies? I'd never known anyone like him before and he was not worth my time or effort. I couldn't fix him, he didn't think anything was wrong! He thought he was perfectly fine! He was mean and nasty to his over 80 yr old mother. I felt a hell of a lot better after removing him from my life and you will feel better once you dump this guy. Tell your parents, move in with them, do whatever it takes to reclaim your life. They always think they can do no wrong. He always points the finger and is an overly defensive person. He does nothing to correct a situation. He has no problem getting behind the wheel drunk either so i really fear he will kill an innocent person driving drunk. Thank you for your input. It helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiffytaffy Posted August 24, 2020 Author Share Posted August 24, 2020 Maybe, if you tell your family, it will help you stay away. Tell them! What do you get from this, as this guy is gross? At this point I don’t get anything from it but anxiety depression and tears. I didn’t wanna let go for fear of being alone but in reality i’m alone anyway so realizing that is prompting me to leave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 But neither do you. You're not walking away. He does nothing to correct a situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamurj Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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