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Everything posted by FenixReborn

  1. This is the best plan. Honestly, I'm not sure if your environment was ever a very healthy place for you. Your father cheating and the problems between your parents feel like they took on toll everyone. While you tried to make things better and focus on keeping everyone together, you're brother has always acted out. Moving away only gave him a taste of "freedom" and seems to have encouraged him in his self-destructive behavior. He needs to address why he is behaving this way and the family needs to call him out on it and put a stop to it. He can't fix everyone else, especially when he is adding
  2. I've heard good things about Life on Mars before. Think I should give it a try now. I know they tried an American version of the show that only lasted one season. Dalesboy, did you ever see that one? And I know I'm way late on this, but not focusing on dating is probably a good thing. Especially with how the year has been, probably better to just focus on yourself.
  3. Trust yourself. You're already got a good read on the situation. Use the weekend to see if she seems okay after the breakup and to just have fun with her. When you do say something, I feel like you two will be able to work out whatever happens. So when you feel comfortable, go for it. You'll never know until you try.
  4. Things can happen, so once you can forgive a person and give them the benefit of the doubt. But when it becomes a pattern, then you have a problem. He continued to do this after you told him you had a problem with it. Even if you want go with his friend doing it, why would he let his friend use the phone knowing his friend could do something like that? Honesty should be a part of a healthy relationship. You can't trust him to be honest. You are being hurt emotionally and physically (losing sleep) by this. It's not healthy for you to see him. There are other guys who will not make you work t
  5. I'm sure he can be a great, wonderful, caring guy at times. I'm sure there are many great qualities he has and that when things are good, you feel amazing. But those times don't last. He sounds like a very emotionally unstable person with issues that HE needs to work out. But instead of working through his own problems, he uses you to justify and excuse his behavior. You are not the cause of his problems. As much as you want to be there for him and help him, you can't fix what he is going through. And you don't deserve to be blamed for it. The hardest thing to see is that we can't be the one t
  6. Sonic, I see a lot of myself in you. The over-thinking and analyzing everything. The wondering if she's ready and has moved on. While I applaud your reasons, I worry you'll worry about this too much and miss your chance. I've been there. So, how recent is this breakup? I know some will say it takes months and months to get over a relationship, but it may not be as long as you think. Please, don't drive yourself crazy over this for months on end and build it up in your head. Try to just enjoy your time together and go with the flow. Be playful, have fun. Even be a little flirty (it can come nat
  7. Hi Imawreck. I don't do well socially either. In my case it's that I'm naturally a shy, introverted person. Anything that involves groups of people makes me uncomfortable. I know what it's like to question myself and wonder why I don't have a life. I know what's it's like to lack motivation. But it doesn't have to be that way. I've found that the way to feel better about yourself is to not worry about what others think and just focus on you. Don't try to have a social life, try to live your life. What are the things you enjoy in life? Sports? Art? Theater? Something else entirely? What is i
  8. I knew a guy who had been married for years and the marriage feel apart. They were just starting the process of divorce. A family member arranged for him to meet an old flame. They instantly got together and he used that as a means to cover up the pain and loneliness that he was feeling. The divorce got ugly and he justified that since he had someone new, the problems in the marriage was all her fault. In reality, he didn't want to face being alone and coming to terms with his own mistakes. Don't make a similar mistake. If she is married, then she is off limits. If she was single, then yes
  9. Sometimes things don't work out and the healthiest choice is to walk away. Keep focusing on you and things will get better eventually.
  10. Sonic, you're dealing with the same problem friends everywhere have dealt with. And sadly, there are no easy answers. Every person reacts differently. Only thing I know for sure is that nothing happens unless you try. So you have to decide if the risk is worth the potential reward. Yes, plenty could go wrong. Plenty could also go right. If you don't try, you keep the friendship, but you'll never know what would have happened. And in my experience, the never knowing is the worse part. That you're worried about all these things shows that you're a good guy at heat. No matter how she feels abo
  11. At times we all feel powerless and helpless. Especially this year, life can seem pointless and that we are all trapped with no way out. So it's normal to have a fantasy of being able to overcome something, do something amazing and heroic. Why do you think superhero movies are so popular? We all want to have hope that a regular person can somehow become this heroic figure that saves the world. And we feel the most hope when the hero has his back to the wall, has lost everything, and still manages to overcome and prevail. "Generally I struggle with depression which usually causes apathy and
  12. jennylove, you sound like a remarkably honest and sincere person. You want people to do the decent thing. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen and you seem to be around people who don't think that way. While your intentions are good, there needs to be that space so you aren't constantly driving yourself crazy over other people's issues. I've banged my head against the wall many times dealing with people who refuse to change or show the tiniest bit of decency in some area. And all it got me was a sore head. These other people will face the consequences of their actions in time. As soon as
  13. Sorry you're going through this. It's probably for the best that you stay with your father. Your mother sounds like she isn't handling this well. Instead of being around her and constantly have to deal with a negative environment and fights, you should be able to have a peaceful environment to focus on you. Maybe the time apart will give your mom a chance to heal herself and reflect on everything. Hopefully you can repair things in time. For now, enjoy this time before adulthood kicks in. Work towards your goals. And most of all, have fun.
  14. Don't answer any question that you are not comfortable with. Be honest that you're comfortable. If the person has a valid reason for asking, they should be able to explain rather then just expect you to answer. And if they don't respect that you don't want to share that with someone you've barely met, then you probably don't want to be going any further with them.
  15. So, call me old fashioned, but I don't get texting in the first place. How can I have a connection to words on a screen? If you really want to connect and bond with a person, you need to meet in person and be able to see them. Or at the very least, actually use a phone to make a phone call. I feel a lot closer to someone when I can hear their voice. If you are more comfortable in person, then skip the texts and be together in person as soon as you can. It's a lot more fun.
  16. Not my usual preferred type of music, but think everyone can agree to the sentiment: (clean version) "I think that I'm kinda done, can we just get to 2021?"
  17. First off, you are not ugly. I believe the only ugly people are those with ugly behavior. If you spread hate and act with anger and disdain to others, that makes you ugly. But you sound like a sweet person, just unsure of herself. It's okay to be uneasy about relationships and want to take it slow, especially if it is new to you. I'm also in my 30's and have little in the way of actual relationship experience. So there's nothing wrong with that. And just because someone likes you, doesn't mean he is desperate or settling. Be it this guy or someone else, I'm sure you have lots of great qualitie
  18. Porn addiction is a problem that people face. If he is spending that much on multiple personalized videos, after promising he wouldn't, I'd be wondering if he has a problem. The bigger issue though is the lying. He had the chance to come clean and admit he did it again, but he couldn't. He openly admitted it was cheating. He knows you don't approve and that it hurts you, and he does it anyway. Are you willing to tolerate this? Any relationship that is filled with lies and deceiving the other is not going to last and will be filled with hurt. You need to address it. Say your sorry for snoopi
  19. A key element of any relationship is communication. He doesn't communicate. In an age where people can't seem to put down their phones, he is not able to find a minute to call, email, or text to let you know he is busy or just to say he is thinking of you? He disappears for days at a time. And when confronted, it is turned around on you for causing drama. He is not treating you with respect. If it is someone I care about, I make the time. I find a way to call, chat, Zoom, text, whatever I can arrange. Because I put the relationship first. Even if it's just five minutes, that five minutes means
  20. "You haven't done anything wrong," in reference to Kim's actions. She was friendly towards another person and once she new he had a girlfriend, ensured that it didn't go to far. She's has handled herself well and been honest and mature throughout. As for him, we really know nothing about his relationship. The pictures aren't of an inappropriate nature. And for all we know, his girlfriend might be fine with silly comments or flirting as long as it doesn't go anywhere else. There are a lot of very open people out there who don't mind if you look, just don't touch so to speak. Kim, listen to y
  21. Introvert who gets anxious in social situations as well. So I feel you. I've also found myself talking with a lot of fellow introverts who feel similar to you. The thread I've found is that they spend more time seeking external validation and berating themselves for being how they are. Instead of looking for affection outside, I think you need to focus on just being happy with you. It's easy to sit back with Youtube, but it doesn't make you feel better. Think about what it is you love to do, and do it. Volunteering is a great start. Check with an organization that interests you and see if ther
  22. jennylove, While I know that our ties to our families can be strong and that we want to be there for them and have great relationships with them, that's not always the case. My family has put me through a lot and done things to me that aren't right. I've been just as upset as you are. So go ahead and be angry. Go ahead and vent. It's good to get the emotions out. We don't choose our families and sometimes we get stuck with ones we don't really fit into. What I was once told and have come to see is true, is that family isn't who we are born with, it's who we make it. While it's good to ma
  23. There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone. If you enjoy talking to each other, talk to each other. If you have things in common or similar interests, why not ask about them? Just keep a clear idea of what you feel is crossing the line, and don't cross it. You sound very reasonable and respectful of his relationship. So don't feel too bad, you haven't done anything wrong.
  24. An hour outside of LA and our skies were ashy earlier this week. It seems to have passed for now. Thoughts and well wishes go out to anyone being affected. Another reason to be done with this year. Can it be 2021 soon?
  25. Everyone has the right to set their own boundaries and feel comfortable at work. People should be treated as they would like to be treated. As long as you are being professional and getting the job done, that should be it. If you are not comfortable being in a social situation, particular on non-work times, then say let him know. Tell him firmly but politely that you like to keep your work and personal life separate. Kissing, or any invasion of personal space, should not be allowed. I'd give him a pass in case he does have social issues, but let him know that it's not appropriate and that it c
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