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Gf' ex out of prison


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I've been in my relationship for 7 years and help raised a child,(now at age 9),my girlfriends ex just recently got out of prison after 9 years,my gf is now in touch with him by means of visiting, texting and hiding this from me,I found out about it and confronted her with proof and she denied all,I'm 56 of age,to old to deal with b/s and lies, any helpful advice would be appreciated

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She is not being honest with you and apparently doesn't plan to be.


Since she won't be honest, the relationship cannot be fixed.


Let her know that you are not willing to remain in a relationship with her as long as she is secretly spending time with her ex.

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Is the child his? Was she visiting him in prison? What was he in for? Does he have some sort of visitation rights? Is he in a halfway house situation? He will draw her back in. He learned a lot more sociopathological tricks in prison. You may want to reconsider the relationship since deceit is becoming an issue.

I've been in my relationship for 7 years and help raised a child,(now at age 9),my girlfriends ex just recently got out of prison after 9 years
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I'm sorry. You're right. You are too old for this.


Sounds like you've been a placeholder while some other guy was in prison.


You must get out of this situation and end the relationship. I would sit the child down and talk to him. Explain that you love him. That won't change but you and his mom can't be together any more. And while this is sad, it will be ok. Sometimes adults have hard times in relationships, but he did nothing wrong.


I'm really sorry... but don't let her lie and use you because you love her child. Be strong and end the relationship.


Maybe she will let you see the child. I know that probably sounds terrible.... it sucks when kids are involved.

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Look, I can't speak to her intent. It certainly doesn't look good. But I'd get ready for the very potential trauma of not having any rights to a kid you've effectively raised for 7 years. Like book a therapist yesterday and get real proactive about it. It's reason #1 I never dated single mothers of small children. Not a single thing against the women, and they definitely deserve a happy romantic life. I just know my emotional limitations.

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After 7 years (if you have been living with her) Here in Ontario, you would be responsible for child care of that child even though he/she is not yours biologically.


I suggest you see a lawyer to find out your rights and obligations. You don't want to be surprised down the road when/if she goes back to him and you get stuck with the financial burden of raising the child.

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  • 1 year later...

Im sorry friend....your situation sucks.  Like someone said.  Have a talk with the child and spend some quality time with him or her.  As far as the gf is concerned...she is an ***. Look at this from a different perspective.  Get your affairs in order before you confront her then bounce when you are ready to go. Best of luck to you.

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