Ex contacted me and offered help

[Wiseman2]

Good you told him no thanks. Try not to cycle through all this again with him. He may simply be horny, thus the breezy detached attitude.

He sounded breezy. He sounded cheerful and overly confident. He was surprised. A smile that I could hear in his voice was gone but he accepted and wished me well. Did I make the big mistake by rejecting him ?

[reinventmyself]

 

For the last two months all I dreamed off was for him to ask me back. But not like this...not so cocky. Not in a such a confident way.

Friends say I should be happy that I had an opportunity to decline as he was way too sure of my feelings for him.

So why I can't sleep and why I feel even worse than when he broke up with me ?

Why I really feel like I wasted opportunity?

I am making all the right steps...gym, hobbies ,friends but can't turn the volume off....too loud.

Did I make the big mistake by rejecting him ?

 

Sheeesh. . I don't know what to make of it. But time is on your side. Take some time to mull it over. No doubt this loss is entangled with the loss of your dad, seeing it happened simultaneously.

 

That's a lot of emotion to process.

 

You've shared with us how much he disappointed you, but there is always another side to one story.

What is his recollection of what transpired?

[irka000]

According to him, I did lash out on him. I was making decisions about going see dad without notifying him but expecting him to be there. He said I made him feel horrible and did not consider him much.

Back than I apologised for my behaviour. I admitted he was right to be upset but not to break up.

[Wiseman2]

Don't do this to yourself. He's guilt-tripping you. Don't rehash with him.

He said I made him feel horrible and did not consider him much.I admitted he was right to be upset but not to break up.

[Batya33]

Hmm. I don't relate to your telling him he was right to be upset but not to break up? Why do you get to tell someone if they're entitled to feel upset and why do you get to tell someone what his boundaries should be? For him he was upset enough to choose to react by walking away. What if he said to you "you're right to be upset but not right to decline my offer to get back together?" I don't understand this mindset.

[No1]

The reason why he reached out doesn't matter. If you even try to think why he does things you are going to drive yourself crazy. You must learn to accept and then let go. That way you don't have to decode, decipher, decrypt, decide, what he means when he says things. You just take a deep breath, accept that your X reached out and then you let it go. You let that go along with all the anger, fears, wants and needs because at this point. None of it matters in your life. You are doing fine without him.

And another point I want to say. If you have this many questions, and if your blood pressure goes up that much and your heart starts to race just from him texting you, then its pretty safe to say that you are not ready to see him or talk to him or communicate with him in any way. You never talk to your X when you are at your lowest point.

So my advise would be to just let it go. If he reaches out, you read it and then delete it and accept that he did and think nothing more about it. Let go..