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Self esteem


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Story of my life is that I’m really ugly. 16 female. I haven’t had any normal teenage experience, a boy has never glanced my way, and u may be like oh you are so young but I feel like I’m going to be alone forever or have settle in a bad relationship. I can’t even take pictures. People pull out their phones all the time and without a thought just snap a pic. Maybe it’s not “instagram worthy” but they are still stunning and here I am, having never even went on my camera app except when taking pictures of other things other than me. They say find your angle and lighting but what happens when u don’t have an angle, when your face is so ugly nothing helps. This puts me in a pit of depression. It’s not even like oh you are average or whatever, it’s like every feature I have is the wrong one, I have a big forehead that makes my hairline look like it’s receding, small brown eyes, big bunny wide meaty nose, big unshapely lips, square head which isn’t very flattering on girls, my teeth are straight but I have tint gaps on my upper teeth, been told skin was too dark been called ugly a lot in my childhood and it still happens now expect people disguise it in jokes and I can’t point out how much it hurt because then I’m not fun. I feel hopeless I know I can’t change my face at least without surgery but I don’t know if I can ever get to a place where I am content. I need help

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I was an ugly duckling too. I assure you it takes time but with a positive attitude, some nice outfits, makeup, and hair styling (and even color!) you can at least look not too bad and feel better about yourself. Yes you are young and you are not finished growing. Your features will change as you get older. If you stop comparing yourself to others, and focus on feeling good about yourself, things will get better. I know it's difficult with social media, and it's an awkward stage you are going through, but you are not the only one...a lot of us went through it too :)

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Gosh, I was such a funny looking kid.


But as I got older things got better. And when I was about 25 I got my hook nose fixed surgically.


I'm still not a beauty queen but when people get older they tend to be more accepting of peoples' appearance. Trust me on that. I've seen some very physically unattractive people with spouses and kids. They just accepted their appearances and focused on being good people.

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Ask your parents to take you to a doctor for a complete physical. Tell the doctor, in private how you really feel. Ask your parents to take you to a therapist. Your obsession with looks, self absorption, peer pressure etc can be helped if you help yourself and get help from trusted adults and your parents.


Stop comparing yourself to everyone. Get off social media. Develop yourself on the inside. become an interesting person interested in other people and things. Take up sports. Learn to make friends and socialize . Join some clubs, groups and teams. Get fit and healthy.


Prepare for college. Get good grades. Ask a trusted adult to take you shopping for new clothes and ask if you can start wearing makeup and go to a good salon. Make the most of yourself inside and out. Being this obsessed with trivial features could indicate bigger problems that a therapist can help you with.

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Co signing wiseman so much, especially the part about lining up a mental health professional (and if the first one doesn’t feel right you may need to try another, they are not all good fits)


Stoke the fire within until it burns so brightly you are too content in yourself and your awesome life to care what anyone thinks about your appearance. Strive to master something physical like dance or circus or weight lifting. You may be pleasantly surprised how feeling fit can effect how you feel about your body.


It doesn’t help at all that people have attacked your appearance in the past. I hope you hold those people in the lowest possible regard these days.

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My mother used to tell me I had a face only a mother could love. How's that for cruel? Add in the fact that she didnt love me, then it gets worse.


I thought I was the ugliest person on the planet and was surely doomed to a life alone because of it. Then I grew up. I dont consider myself good looking, but I am a damn good friend and I figured if I cant look like the girls in the magazines or on tv, in movies, then I need to develop myself into an awesome person so I worked on doing that.


You sound much harder on yourself than I was on myself, and I think you need some counseling to understand that you are much better than you think you are. Get off social media, develop your personality, get a good haircut, new clothes if possible, get out and join clubs, groups, take up a musical instrument, get into theatre, whatever it takes to develop some self esteem.

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I’m reading all of these and I’m glad for the replies, but I do everything. I’m really fit, in fact I actually love the way my body looks. I’m in numerous clubs and sports. So it’s not like I’m just sitting around. It’s just that when I’m in those situations I shut down because everyone around me looks amazing and then here I am ugly (face).

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You can't control your genes. Focus on what you can control which is your brain power. Succeed in your own right.


I was never a Homecoming Queen. I never dated in high school nor during my college years! I gave up because I thought no one would ever ask me out for a date. Therefore, I concentrated on my career FOR YEARS, ascended and became financially independent. Once I was on the fast track, this is when I started to draw attention and turn heads. Suddenly, I had friends galore. Then I was asked out on dates. I'm married, have two sons and enjoy my life in the suburbs.


It didn't start out this way though. My beginnings were miserable. Turn your life around by concentrating on your brain power to get ahead in life.

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Your face is not the problem you think it is. At 16 you don't have enough life experience to understand that. Nobody takes the long view at 16. This doesn't mean that it's not an issue because obviously this is upsetting you a great deal. Thus it has to be addressed.


Talk to your mom about what you are feeling. Ask her to take you to the make up counter at the local department store & get tips on how to highlight your best features. Those sales associates love teaching people how to put on make up properly. Set a budget with mom before you go because that make up is ghastly expensive. The bottle of foundation that is $10 at the drug store is $50 at the department store make up counter.


If learning to do daily make up (as opposed to heavier fancy party / wedding / prom makeup) doesn't perk you up about your situation ask mom & dad to let you go to counselor for a little while to help get to the root of the problem.

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I invite you to go out in public and really look at the couples you see. Are all of them stunningly beautiful people? No! MOST people are not stunningly beautiful, they're just normal people. That's why advertisers have started using "real people" looking actors in their commercials instead of the models of perfection they used to hire. Not many people can relate to those whose appearances are perfect and stunning.


I have seen many, many couples where neither of them is physically attractive in the conventional sense. I've seen overweight, bad complexions, hook noses (like I used to have), bad hair, etc. And they are happily married or in relationships with people who look past superficial appearance to see the person underneath.


At 16 you may not realize this. I had to get out of high school to realize that I was OK even if I wasn't pretty.


Final thought, look at Oprah. She said years ago on her show that she realized a long time ago she wasn't pretty, so she decided to be smart instead. There she is, basically homely but styled well, with a successful business and a long-time companion. If she can do it, so can anyone else.

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