portrait Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Met a girl about 9 months ago at a bar in Australia (I am Australian) Got her phone number from her friend, but only hung out once as mates, as she had a BF. Fast forward to 2 months ago, and she is back in England, and single. I am headed to england to visit my brother, and message her and ask her to catch up. She agrees, and we text regularly for 2 weeks until I arrive in England. We go out on a date, and have an amazing time. End up spending the next 3-4 weeks while I am in England dating, telling each other we love each other, and all that. We both agree that I will come back to live in England, and when I find a job \ set up there, we will find a place together (staying with my brother until then). Anyway, I am back in Australia now for 3 weeks, waiting for my VISA to come through, and we are just having lots of little arguments, and can feel that we are both less excited to speak to each other, and it feels like a bit of the magic is fading. We have been talking a lot via whatapp, and talking on the phone for around 2+ hours nearly every day. Which I think is partly why we have been arguing, it is too much. Any advice from anyone else that has been in a similar situation, or knows a good way to keep attraction levels high, while I am away. Hopefully I will be returning to England in 1 week, but I am nervous it may be too late. Link to comment
flatsquirrel Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 3-4 weeks and moving for a person.. no. Moving in so quickly? Big no. If you were moving for work/for new life (for you) a big YES... Which is it? However, this is a bit intense and 3-4 weeks saying you love someone is also intense. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 You've got a real fantasy going on here. You barely know this girl, it's all too much too soon. Declaring love so fast is a red flag, because you dont know her well enough. You need to slow down. Moving to England for her is not a good idea. I agree with flatsquirrel on this one. Link to comment
kim42 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 I agree with the advice above, you don’t know her that well, moving to another country because of someone you barely know is not a smart idea. Also, talking so much on the phone every day is maybe not healthy either. Link to comment
Billie28 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 The holiday romance is over. And that’s ok! Enjoy your trip overseas without her!!! Link to comment
SherrySher Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 You're moving way too fast and shoving too much stuff into a very short amount of time. It's no wonder it's fizzling out so soon! You need to take your time, visit a few more times, find out if you truly are compatible. It's just far too rushed. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Three-four weeks and you are going to turn your life upside down. Too much, too soon. Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Don't feel bad, most long distance relationships don't last. People need to touch each other regularly to stay in love. Link to comment
Keyman Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Hey Dude, Agree with the others that racing all the way over here may be wrong if you are coming just for her. If it all falls through, what are you going to do? Are you going to head home again with tail between legs? What visa did you get? A 2 year under 30s working visa? If so, and you want to stay, head over to 'Kiwi's in London' page on facebook. There's an Aussies in London page too, but the Kiwi one gets more traffic with jobs/housing/things to do. And if you're looking for a job to hit the ground running while searching for a proper job, and you are fit and healthy, try Kiwimovers, they're always looking for new starts. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 May I please ask what your disagreements are about? This is a very short period of time for things to deteriorate so quickly. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 She's probably freaking out because the holiday fantasy fun romance is suddenly getting real. She probably realizes the folly of uprooting your life for someone you've spent 28 days with. Link to comment
portrait Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 Hey Guys Appreciate the advice. I understand that it is moving incredibly fast. But there are not other options if we want to be together. Visiting her regularly wouldn't really be an option. It is around $1500 for a return ticket, and takes 30 hours each way. Plus, starting a new job in Melbourne, would mean I wouldn't be able t o get time off to visit, and her role currently wouldn't give her a week or regularly to visit. I recently left my job in Melbourne (which is why I traveled to the UK), and also left my apartment (the owners sold it), so I was effectively moving out and changing jobs anyway, so it isn't that big a deal to make those changes in the UK, instead of Australia. Also if we do break up, I would stay in the UK with my brother. Also, the not knowing her well enough, we have talked a lot, and have spoken a lot over the past 8 months. I think I know her relatively well. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Speaking is not knowing. I don't recall, you are not planning to live with her, are you? Link to comment
portrait Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 Speaking is not knowing. I don't recall, you are not planning to live with her, are you? Not right away. I will be living with my brother, until I find a job and get set up etc. Planning to move in together after Christmas, once we find a place and are more settled. Link to comment
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