Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

[Seraphim]

And you want to hear something…. My mom the day before his funeral got a text from his phone that said , Hi. If I hadn’t seen it myself …..

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

And you want to hear something…. My mom the day before his funeral got a text from his phone that said , Hi. If I hadn’t seen it myself …..

I believe these things happen.  My beloved uncle spoke to me through his son a couple of months ago.  It was my cousin speaking but the voice and words were clearly my uncle's.  That's how much love they have for the ones who are left behind.

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I believe these things happen.  My beloved uncle spoke to me through his son a couple of months ago.  It was my cousin speaking but the voice and words were clearly my uncle's.  That's how much love they have for the ones who are left behind.

My mom says I don’t believe in that crap, but then how to explain it ? His phone was in a drawer in the other room. 
 

I believe in it too. I had seen and heard ghost and I have seen Angels and demons. 

[Seraphim]

My son is suffering so much from the loss of his grandfather. 

[luminousone]

On 11/30/2021 at 10:36 AM, Seraphim said:

I have no fathers left. My dear sweet papa died yesterday in the afternoon. 😞💔

So sorry for your loss, Sera!

[Seraphim]

I am trying to struggle out from my mental health right now. I am swinging from apathy  to rage and everything in the middle. I went to go Christmas shopping today and realized I had forgotten to take all of my medications. Some guy cut me off and I was running out of road. I was so angry I wanted to continually ram his pickup truck with mine and punch him in the face . Obviously, I didn’t do that but even thinking it is over the top .🥴

My mom is texting me hundreds of times a day with every little issue. Nothing I can actually do one thing about whether I was here or there. I know she is in mental and emotional free fall right now but I am barely functioning as well. Oh God 9 more days of work for the year. 
 

 

[maritalbliss86]

16 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I am trying to struggle out from my mental health right now. I am swinging from apathy  to rage and everything in the middle. I went to go Christmas shopping today and realized I had forgotten to take all of my medications. Some guy cut me off and I was running out of road. I was so angry I wanted to continually ram his pickup truck with mine and punch him in the face . Obviously, I didn’t do that but even thinking it is over the top .🥴

My mom is texting me hundreds of times a day with every little issue. Nothing I can actually do one thing about whether I was here or there. I know she is in mental and emotional free fall right now but I am barely functioning as well. Oh God 9 more days of work for the year. 
 

 

Ohhh Seraphim 😞  it's the grief.  Both your mom and you are going through it right now.  I think it's OK to only check your phone 3 times a day (morning, lunch, and then evening before bed) if that would help to turn off the sound (if that's possible for you).  

I know she needs you, but it'd be nice if you could find a way to balance that out with your own  needs, too.

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Ohhh Seraphim 😞  it's the grief.  Both your mom and you are going through it right now.  I think it's OK to only check your phone 3 times a day (morning, lunch, and then evening before bed) if that would help to turn off the sound (if that's possible for you).  

I know she needs you, but it'd be nice if you could find a way to balance that out with your own  needs, too.

Yes , it is blow after blow after blow for a year and a half and this last one is just putting me under. I have no interest in doing anything. Not setting up for Christmas , nothing . 

[Seraphim]

Just struggling . Too many people have died . 8 more work days and 3 more full days . Then I have about 2 weeks off . 

[Jibralta]

I'm sorry. You are going through so much in such a short period of time. And at such a difficult time of the year. I know it's very tough.

[Seraphim]

For the first time ever I got a speeding ticket today and got informed by a daycare parent of a Covid exposure. Banner 🤬🤬day and the hits keep on coming . Plus we have a storm blowing literally which might knock out our power . I effen quit. 

[Seraphim]

The province is being blown to bits. This is a neighbour at my old base 

[Seraphim]

So about 200,000 people in the province have no power with no restoration times yet but Hydro One was mobilized in advance of the event. Some people are out on base here but I am ok. 

[Seraphim]

I hate when people are late 😡I made a tea date with someone for one and they are not here 30 mins later . 

[Seraphim]

She forgot 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. She is on her way. 

[Seraphim]

I got another brief glimmer of life and hope today I want to turn the corner . 

[Seraphim]

Dyed my hair pink tonight . Brings out the colour of my eyes. 

[Seraphim]

For a short time . Please don’t quote. 

 

[boltnrun]

I think it looks great!

[Jibralta]

Beautiful

[Seraphim]

One of my current daycare mom’s is an awesome tattoo artist. I finally know what I want. 
 

[Seraphim]

Thank God for these children who gave me a spark of joy today. ❤️

[Seraphim]

This wind storm is so bad glass sheets are blowing off the CN Tower. Power was out in the town I had ordered the kids Christmas lunch from and hubby had to go two towns over . 

[Seraphim]

Once again the provincial Hydro outage map is a giant crap show

[Seraphim]

I think I have come out of my shock now. I am still very sad of course , I always will be, but I am not emotionally immobilized anymore The sparks of life are coming faster .