Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

[boltnrun]

I'm sorry about the insomnia. I couldn't sleep Monday night and then had to go into the office all day and drive my two hour commute on three hours of sleep (unsafe).

I hope you are able to rest after work. 

[Seraphim]

22 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I'm sorry about the insomnia. I couldn't sleep Monday night and then had to go into the office all day and drive my two hour commute on three hours of sleep (unsafe).

I hope you are able to rest after work. 

It seems we are both having a hard time lately . I hope my holidays reset my body and brain. Do you have holidays soon? 

[boltnrun]

17 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

It seems we are both having a hard time lately . I hope my holidays reset my body and brain. Do you have holidays soon? 

We have Independence Day coming up on Tuesday, July 4th. The company I work for always gives us the extra day off (paid!) if a recognized holiday falls on Thursday or Tuesday. So I get a 4 day weekend beginning Saturday. So looking forward to it!

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

We have Independence Day coming up on Tuesday, July 4th. The company I work for always gives us the extra day off (paid!) if a recognized holiday falls on Thursday or Tuesday. So I get a 4 day weekend beginning Saturday. So looking forward to it!

Yay!! Our National Holiday, Canada Day is this Saturday. Most people have Monday off in lieu of Saturday. Some have Friday off. Are you doing anything special those days ? 
 

I usually take the first two weeks of July off and two weeks around Christmas . 

[boltnrun]

Definitely not traveling. Everyone here travels on holiday weekends so all of the usual destinations are sh*t shows with ridiculous crowds. 

 I see the crowds coming to my neighborhood, the ones who live inland and are escaping the heat by coming to MY city. Fortunately I live literally steps from the beach so I can just go outside if I want to go. No need to drive anywhere. 

Enjoy your vacation! (BTW, we call it "going on vacation" here rather than "on holiday" or "annual leave".)

[Seraphim]

27 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Definitely not traveling. Everyone here travels on holiday weekends so all of the usual destinations are sh*t shows with ridiculous crowds. 

 I see the crowds coming to my neighborhood, the ones who live inland and are escaping the heat by coming to MY city. Fortunately I live literally steps from the beach so I can just go outside if I want to go. No need to drive anywhere. 

Enjoy your vacation! (BTW, we call it "going on vacation" here rather than "on holiday" or "annual leave".)

Yeah, here we are more inclined to call it holidays as part of an older generation, but I think they call it vacation in the younger generation. My husband has 7 weeks in total of holidays, but I think he took 11 annual days they call it annual because he’s military. On Sunday I’m going to my mom’s until Tuesday. Then I come home. Get the house ready to leave and then hubby and I go down to Detroit for a few days to see the Blue Jays play the Tigers. Then we are home for a day to wash clothes and then we head up north to Lake Superior , hubby and son and I.

[Seraphim]

I just ordered a selfie stick with remote and want to try my hand at doing videos of our vacation for a YouTube channel. My son can help me produce them. 

[Seraphim]

Tomorrow my son wants to go with his dad to the latest Transformers movie. He has a card from Easter Seals that allows him to go free with a companion to any Cineplex or Landmark theatre . 

[Seraphim]

https://lakesuperiorcircletour.info/lake-superior-facts/#:~:text=1.,1%2C332 feet (406 metres).

[Seraphim]

My son and I tomorrow 🤣🤣🤣

[Seraphim]

This moving season is in full swing . Moving trucks all over the place every week. 

[Seraphim]

7 Tornados in the province in 2 weeks. Going to be a busy summer . 

[Seraphim]

Today at 4:30 I am off work until the 19th! Woohoooo!! I made it. I took melatonin last night . I did wake up again about 1.5 hours later because I was too damned hot. Someone had turned down the AC. I turned it back up and slept the rest of the night . I find though when I have melatonin my watch tells me my dream stage is vastly expanded and my deep sleep is great reduced. I need to re balance my deep sleep and light sleep. I am hoping holidays will let me destress enough I can reset my brain. 
 

As a family we have had a lot of compound trauma in three years. Combined with C-PTSD I have been struggling so bad for the past year. My husband’s brain injury was so so traumatizing for everyone. And then his subsequent mental breakdown and he has had several in his life which just lead to financial hardship, this time it didn’t thankfully. Compound that with 3 family deaths and my mom needing constant daily attention. Plus my husband being constantly at home interrupting my business on a daily basis through Covid and brain injury and breakdown. It is entirely too much . 
 

I need help because I have become depressed . 

[Seraphim]

And as I predicted , presto poof. When a narc gets push back….. and they don’t have control things disappear. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

 

I need help because I have become depressed

Is your therapist available? Hopefully they can provide support. Or any family or friends? Do you feel like you don't want to confide in your husband because he has a lot on his plate already?

I hope things get better. You have been through a lot.

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Is your therapist available? Hopefully they can provide support. Or any family or friends? Do you feel like you don't want to confide in your husband because he has a lot on his plate already?

I hope things get better. You have been through a lot.

Unfortunately, the last time I saw a therapist was more than 6 years ago and we have moved since . I would have to find something here. They don’t have therapists on base here because they want you to go into the community and it is no longer free paid for by the military you have to pay or use your insurance. The government I believe has some free phone calls due to mental health issues from Covid. 
 

My mom is too deep into her own grieving and I think depression and starting therapy . 
 

My good friend here her husband is really really struggling with his PTSD from Afghanistan. ( he was blown up there in an IED blast ) so she is a mess as well. 
 

After my holidays I am going to look for something I think because I am just not doing my best at anything lately . 

[Seraphim]

Presently hiding 

[boltnrun]

Yikes! I hope it turns out OK.

[Seraphim]

14 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Yikes! I hope it turns out OK.

We seem ok for now . Waiting for all the storms to pass . It seems 3 more tornadoes in the province after today. 
 

This is the smoke today. I have to wear an N95 mask or I am coughing and have a ratchet headache . 

[Seraphim]

[Seraphim]

Surprisingly I had a much better sleep last night . I slept from 11 to 7. I find I sleep much better without commitments or expectations the next day and if I sleep without pj’s. 

[Seraphim]

Two years ago today my FIL died. 
 

…,,,

Happy Canada Day! 

[Seraphim]

My beloved niece is 20 today. She is my brother’s middle daughter and my goddaughter. 

[Seraphim]

Visiting my mama until Tuesday. 
 

I am thinking of buying two air purifiers because this smoke is crazy and supposed to go on all summer . 

[Seraphim]

We have 90 forest fires in this province alone. It is 38C today or 100.4 F for my American friends. It is ridiculous hot. Friday we leave for the US. We are watching the game there but staying on the Canadian side to sleep etc.