rainorshine Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 I broke up with my ex boyfriend about two months ago, and we haven't had any contact since. It definitely was not the best breakup -- it all happened very quickly; both of our emotions were running extremely high, and due to this, I think a great deal of what we said and how we acted was mainly on impulse. I know I said things that were very hurtful to him (but nonetheless honest), and he was very nasty and disrespectful to me in response. I broke up with him, immediately hung up the phone, and that was it. I could write a novel detailing our relationship, but in the end, we were simply not compatible. However, we were involved romantically for nearly two and a half years, and I know we cared for one another deeply and held a great importance in each others' life. For the first month following the break-up, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders; I felt free and proud of myself for having the strength to walk away from a relationship that was no longer serving me. Though I do still feel that way, a sadness has really come over me these last few weeks. It is incredibly unsettling to my soul that things ended, and have been left, on such a bad note. Although it was necessary to some degree, I truly never wanted to hurt him, and it sits heavy on my heart knowing I did and never apologized. My approach to the situation was not the best; I did blind-side him with everything, and for that I do feel bad. I know I don't OWE him apology though; everything I said was justified, honest, and well-intentioned, and that is why I have not contacted him yet and probably never will. Ideally, I would love for him to reach out and apologize to me, just to know he also feels remorse for how he acted towards me (because he should), which would then allow for the "bad note" to be resolved as I would apologize as well. But I am not holding my breath on that one, and that is what I am struggling with most right now. Assuming that we will never communicate again, what can I do to help ease the unsettling feeling in my soul? Ending on bad terms with someone who meant/still means a lot to me truly just leaves me sad to the core. Because I truly do feel an unconditional love for him, just as a person, completely unrelated to any romantic feelings I once had. Link to comment
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