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trufo

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About trufo

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  1. This all seems way too intense and needy in my opinion. I think that if you don't change this quickly this is a lost case.
  2. Just because you yourself don't think silence (or not responding) isn't ghosting doesn't change the commonly accepted meaning of the concept. According to the Oxford dictionary: "Ghosting is ​the practice of ending a personal relationship with somebody by suddenly stopping all communication without explanation. Ghosting can happen after one date or a few texts, but it can also happen after several months of dating." I do agree the concept is used in all kinds of different contexts and to be honest, some dictionaries leave room for some interpretation. Even here, considering it only mentions up
  3. Just don't ghost in my opinion. Not only is it rude, it also limits your own personal growth. Learning to reject things is extremely important in life, whether it's professional or personal. Like many people stated: a simple "I had a lovely time, but I don't see a romantic future for us" is enough. If you think there was a friendly vibe and possibility you can mention that aswell: "I had a lovely evening, but I don't see a romantic future for us. However, I think we could become friends if you feel the same". I've had quite a few dates where we just didn't have that sexual attraction but I
  4. Great post, I completely agree.
  5. Probably. If you want a more nuanced answer you should give more information.
  6. Let's just say that dating anyone with a disorder (yes, Aspergers is a disorder according to the DSM) is more difficult than dating someone who doesn't have a disorder. Two friends of mine have Aspergers and they're completely different people. However, there are some similarities to be found. How Aspergers comes out in them is their extreme interest in certain topics, to the point that it's hard to talk about anything else with them. Socially they are limited, especially in the empathy department. It's hard for them to truly grasp other people's emotions. I'd assume the more comfortable th
  7. If someone says they're busy you just simply say: "Okay, no problem. Let me know when you're sure of your schedule and we make plans then." Then you walk away. The ball is in their court, if they contact you, you make plans. If they don't, you just never contact them again either. It can be so simple... If they contact you and start talking about random things you state that you are busy, but you'd love to meet in person. What's your schedule like/when are you free? And make definite plans then.
  8. Ad hominem, SherrySher. Please explain your replies or else they're just fallacious argumentative strategies. I can reverse it, you know? It sounds like you are having trouble understanding women. You might say "but I am a woman, I experience it". So did everyone before Newton found a theory and afterwards law of gravity (Yes I know nowadays Einstein's general relativity is the basis for our understanding of gravity, but for argument's sake). Just experiencing does not mean you understand. I'm not saying I understand, but based on your fallacious argumentive style I would not accept your po
  9. Then we should agree to disagree. Even though I heavily implied that his acting indeed did not impress her. In fact, it turned her away from him completely. You impress women mostly with certain personality values and their external consequences imo (for example confidence, passion and purpose). If she meets hot guys around her age who are "more on her wavelength" but still put her on a pedestal (you say less intense, basically a synonym for not on a pedestal or not needy) she will act exactly the same. Meaning she will lose interest and attraction very quickly resulting in her need to have
  10. You treated her like a queen. "Want to dine at the best restaurants, your Highness?", "I'll take you on an expensive trip because you're the best that has happened to me, your Highness". I don't think the agegap mattered AT ALL. I think the relationship was unequal, with her on the pedestal you put her on. It's perfect for romantic movies, but doesn't work in real life. She lost her respect and attraction for you. No one wants to be in an unequal relationship, not even if they're the ones on the pedestal. Your text exemplifies my theory. You say you're afraid of losing her because she's bas
  11. This whole story is just an incomprehensible mess. She doesn't even care to explain her answers. Good luck to you LadyCaCa. Hope you find your way.
  12. Please tell the truth to your (ex)boyfriend. I heard it from someone else and it hurt me so bad. It made me question if there was any love and honesty in the whole relationship. I see two possible paths: 1: Tell your bf, see if he wants to continue and go to therapy together. 2: Tell your bf, breakup and take some time off from relationships. The "Who does this in a loving, good relationship" is exactly what my ex told me and she's messing up in her rebound again. She even told me she has no idea what she's doing, doesn't feel love as she felt with us. Her ignorance for her own feeling
  13. It's called Transvestic Disorder (DSM-5 302.3). However, calling it a disorder is not truly fair. Many people with transvestic tendencies do not need treatment as they don't feel bad about it and/or can share it with understanding partners. As someone who studied interdisciplinary social sciences one line comes to mind: "If someone perceives something is a problem, the resulting consequences are problematic." Thus, as you feel bad about it I'd recommend going to therapy. A therapist deals with these behavioural tendencies on a daily basis and won't judge you for it. They will challenge you
  14. Yep, it's cheating. Yep, it's weak if you go back to him. Yes, you will get hurt again.
  15. This will crash and burn. Time to find yourself or die alone.
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