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rainorshine

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About rainorshine

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  1. Hi! I haven't been on here in a really long time. I come for advice on how to navigate being roommates/close friends with someone who is severely depressed. We have been roommates for a year and a half now, and I did not know her prior to our living situation (I am 23, she is 22). We formed a friendship pretty quickly, initially bonding over our history of mental illness. I struggled with depression pretty badly when I was a pre-teen/teen and still battle anxiety, while she has struggled with both for the past 15+ years. There have been times when she has been better in the last 1.5
  2. Hi, I agree with all the above posters. I'm currently 21, and I had my first boyfriend at 15. It only lasted two months, but it had an immense (negative) impact on me. Towards the last few weeks of our relationship, I could tell things were not going well. One day he coerced me into having sex, and though I was scared and did NOT want to, I eventually gave in because I didn't want to give him a reason to break up with me. A week later, after barely talking to me since, he broke up with me anyway. It crushed me and plummeted my view of my self-worth drastically for YEARS. I look back on my t
  3. The very first word that popped into my mind when reading your post was 'metrosexual.' The definition of metrosexual via Merriam-Webster is: a usually urban heterosexual male given to enhancing his personal appearance by fastidious grooming, beauty treatments, and fashionable clothes. Given what you've written, it seems pretty fitting to me. But I urge you to do more research on the topic since you, of course, know him better than anyone.
  4. I understand loving someone very much but knowing your relationship will not survive in the long run. I get it, because I've been in your position. It was hard. It sucks. But know that if you truly feel that you two are not meant for one another, you are doing both yourself and her a big service. Be proud of yourself for that. Remain headstrong in your decision and do not second-guess yourself. I transferred colleges during my sophomore year, so I also understand starting a new semester with no friends in your present city. If you are looking for employment, utilize your university's ca
  5. I agree that introversion is not tantamount to being a homebody. I am by all means an introvert, but I crave adventure. I live for traveling new places and seeking new experiences. I just don't necessary have to be with other people to enjoy such activities - I will get in my car and drive to a new city alone just for something different to do. For this reason, I tend to be more attracted to extroverts. I'm not super social myself typically (initiating conversation is not my forte), so I enjoy having someone who will encourage me to step out of my shell a little more in that regard. While i
  6. I think they will hang around or "come back" as long as they believe you can be manipulated. I realized almost immediately after I broke up with my ex boyfriend that he had narcissistic tendencies. Is he an actual narcissist with NPD? I have no idea. But I can tell you that he definitely has many personality traits that align with narcissism. I skimmed your post that was previously mentioned, and many of the qualities you noted of your ex are parallel to that of my ex. Refusing to get along with my friends and family, having no interest in my life and who I was outside of our relations
  7. No, same relationship. We were broken up but got back together. I officially ended things between us in February. I do apologize for being curt, I just see no reason for this thread to be resurrected either. It's not pertinent at all anymore.
  8. 5 months is 'long over'? Yeah, okay. Not sure why I'm getting so much push back for trying to heal in my own ways. It's a different process for everyone, you know.
  9. I find all of your words to be very profound, but these few bits really resonated with me tonight. While I know me creating threads about issues from the 'past' is largely perceived on here as me not letting go, I truly think it's quite the opposite for me. Doing so helps me to release my thoughts and, ergo, let them go. Once I talk it out, I really no longer feel the need to think about it so often or deeply. The empathy you have for others truly shines bright on this site, bluecastle. Thank you. :)
  10. I'm enjoying my life a lot actually. Have been on many dates in the last 5 months - actually in talks with a guy right now who I'm pretty excited about. I've recently strengthened my friendships with a lot of my girlfriends. I think a lot, analyze a lot, and reflect a lot on my past. Maybe it doesn't help a lot of people to do this, but it truly does help me. It helps me gain insight, learn, make peace with my past, and move forward. Please don't assume you know what's best for me
  11. I made this thread nearly nine months ago. In that time we got back together and then broke up again (because yes, I knew it needed to end). My emotions from this thread are completely irrelevant now. I'm confused why you felt the need to comment?
  12. Thank you. I’d like to think I’ve grown a lot in the last three years (especially the past year since we’ve been apart since it's led me to a lot of introspection). I met him when I was 18, and our encounter, to be perfectly honest, was only supposed to be a one night stand sort of deal - I was never expecting to even see him again. Having sex before I got to know him absolutely, without a doubt, clouded my judgement of his character as we proceeded into a girlfriend-boyfriend dynamic. If I met anyone now who was as judgmental and insulting, it would 100% be a turn off and I would run a
  13. Also I want to note in regards to my previous post that when he would refer to someone in a derogatory term regarding his or her weight, it was 100% of the time to his friends or to me when we were alone, never directly to them or where they could hear. Still not good (obviously), but that would have ABSOLUTELY been a deal-breaker for me from the beginning. I fell in love way too fast, and that caused me to sweep a lot under the rug and, yes, rationalize things I shouldn't have thinking it was just an issue of him being young and immature. I know that now - knew it way before starting this
  14. Ah but see, my ex was rude at times. For example: he would often refer to people (primarily women) who were a little heavier in weight as "fat cows" or "whales." Should I not have said anything at all about that? Should I have never spoken up and voiced my opinion on how I did not believe that to be right? Sometimes I did "let it slide." But on occasion I would say, "Hey, you can think that, okay? But please don't say it to me/it in front of me." My comments were NEVER in public and I would never yell. I would only say something aloud to him if we were alone with no one else around - please
  15. Respectfully, this is not productive or helpful advice at all. Very unnecessary, actually. "Some equally nasty low class behavior," is honestly...way out of left field. Not once have I quoted him or given a specific example of any of the language he would use. You have NO right to project that my behavior, which extended maybe 6 text messages in one day over the 2.5 years we were together, was "equally nasty low class behavior." I did NOT "lie to [my]self about everything" over the course of our relationship. Please do not come to my thread to attack me when you do not have a full knowledge
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