brittneyj Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now, I love him like crazy, but I really need some advice. He was married before, and has been split from his ex-wife for over a year now. They still have a friendship, I'm and totally cool with that since she knows about us and her and I get along quite well. So anyway, his ex-wife's best friend (who he met after they split up and while we were together, only last summer), has a Chihuahua that he is completely and utterly obsessed with. Like to the point where it makes people uncomfortable. This dog will stay with us about 2 nights a week just so he can have time with her. At first it didn't bother me too much, I'm not a pet person but I didn't let that get in the way of his precious dog time. Well by now it's gotten way worse. When she comes over, he doesn't give me the time of day. In fact, he actually is pretty cold to me when the dog is around. He will go lay with her on a different couch than me, will hardly even say hello to me when I walk in the door, and won't sleep with me in our bed, but on the couch with the dog. When I ask for him to come to bed, or ask to lay with them on the couch, he responds with a hard "No" or a "Just leave me alone" I really don't know what to do about this situation, I've explained how this makes me feel numerous times, and he completely comes unglued on me, saying I'm being jealous, blah, blah, blah. To me, this is not normal, especially since it's not even his dog, and I've literally done nothing to deserve being treated this way. It's to the point where I'm quite concerned it's going to ruin our relationship. When the dog goes back to her owner, everything is back to normal with us. I just don't understand the coldness I'm receiving from him when she's around. I would really appreciate some solid advice on how to handle this situation without making him completely explode and think I'm being jealous and clingy. Honestly I don't think I'm in the wrong at all. Link to comment
Lester Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 It's not the dog. You're in a rebound relationship. When there, the dog bumps you into a lower, less needed, comfort duty . Dump him, and never again live with someone. It WILL rob you of the best years of your life. Spend time here on ena reading the dying end of relationships such as yours. (On average 2 to 5 years lost.) Sorry! Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 Move out. He's being a jerk. how to handle this situation without making him completely explode and think I'm being jealous and clingy. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 I think the dog reminds him of his ex wife and their time together and he's not over the marriage. And he is rude. I have encountered people who prioritize their pets over peoples' safety, health, etc but I think this is more about his emotions about the marriage. Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 You've been together for a year and a half, but he's only been split from his ex-wife for a year? So there were 6 months of overlap? How did you meet? He was technically married to her when you met? Were they still living together? Yes, you met him on his rebound. So this poor little dog is getting this guy's emotional outpouring that he's unable to express. You can tell me the marriage was dead for years, they were only roommates, they fought all the time.....blahbity blahbity blah. Bottom line: He hasn't dealt with his emotions from his marriage, and the dog is his therapist. Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 I agree with the other posters. Let him have the dog. Dump him. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 So anyway, his ex-wife's best friend (who he met after they split up and while we were together, only last summer), has a Chihuahua that he is completely and utterly obsessed with. Like to the point where it makes people uncomfortable. This dog will stay with us about 2 nights a week just so he can have time with her. So, this dog is the EX's best friend's dog? I have a hard time understanding WHY on earth he keeps the dog for 2 nights week? Why is this women giving him her dog for 2 nights every week? So, if I'm reading this correctly, this has nothing at all to do with his ex wife. This is someone else's dog entirely. I dunno, but it's all very weird. As for the situation in general, my gut tells me to dump him - something just feels "off". Link to comment
jimthzz Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 OK, WHY would he sleep with the dog (I mean, as in the traditional definition of "sleep", not some twisted fetish) instead of you? And WHY if that happened once and it wasn't a medical thing or a training thing, would you stay with someone who sleeps with the dog? Link to comment
Starlight925 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Guys, she wrote an update.....see her Post # 7. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Guys, she wrote an update.....see her Post # 7. I saw the update. I was pointing out that this had nothing to do with his EX-wife as it seemed people were thinking it had something to do with him rebounding and still being attached to his ex wife. This dog belongs to the best friend of the ex, so nothing at all to do with the EX. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Guys, she wrote an update.....see her Post # 7. Understood,but I still have questions. Glad the OP is satisfied that things are perfect now. :) Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Either tolerate this dog obsession of his for 2 nights per week or either the dog goes or you go. He is being unreasonable. Link to comment
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