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1 word replies after four dates

Chrys

By Chrys
in Dating Advice

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milly007 Mentor

milly007

Posted
Posted

Chrys, clearly you’re getting something out of communicating with this guy, otherwise you wouldn’t bother.

 

He sends you odd or creepy messages. You continue to interact with him despite this and all while coming here and referring to him as ‘whacko’, etc.

 

I agree with the others who say you’re enjoying the attention.

 

Miss Canuck’s most recent post is on point. This guy continues to message you and say slimey things because you tolerate it by continuing to communicate with him and engage him.

 

He’ll continue to say things you question until you walk away, and as this continues to happen, you’ll come back here stating that you don’t know how to interpret his message (when it’s really straight forward and without hidden meaning b/c the guy wants sex), and then proceed to call him a whacko or whatever.

 

But yeah, the only reason you’re keeping this guy on your radar is for the attention.

 

If this is your cup of tea, that’s fine, but as long as this guy continues to send you odd messages and you continue to respond, the cycle will continue.

 

Just reading your posts and what this guy says gives me the creeps.

 

That said I’m not quite sure what advice you’re looking for at this point?

 

We’re all just basically repeating ourselves telling you what we think each time this guy sends you a new weird message.

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted

Agree with milly, and others, and I mean no offense OP but at this point I think you may be the unstable one.

 

I mean this is sheer and utter lunacy, no other way of saying it.

 

From the both of you!! A stable person would not be engaging in all this, obsessed about it, which you clearly are. They couldn't care less, they would have blocked, moved on.

 

Hell you act like this was a long term relationship, it was four dates!

 

For whatever reason, whether he got to know you better and lost interest or wouldn't give up sex, you're not the one for him. Not a good fit whatever you want to call it.

 

For the love of all things beautiful, move on!

 

Instead of focusing all your energy on why a 40 year old would behave this way, etc, focus on yourself and why you are so compelled to continue engaging in this lunacy.

 

What does that say about you? Think about it.

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SherrySher Grand Master

SherrySher

Posted
Posted
Well I'm say creepy as he asked me if my place is quiet.

 

You don't actually know him or how psycho he might be. Maybe he asked this to find out if anyone would be around if he decided to attack you.

 

You don't know for sure. But it is definitely strange questions to be asking.

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Chrys31 Collaborator

Chrys31

Posted
Posted
You don't actually know him or how psycho he might be. Maybe he asked this to find out if anyone would be around if he decided to attack you.

 

You don't know for sure. But it is definitely strange questions to be asking.

 

I think his whole behaviour is not normal at all

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figureitout23 Grand Master

figureitout23

Posted
Posted
I think his whole behaviour is not normal at all

 

Chrys remember the dude you wee convinced was married?

 

Now this guy

 

You want to be victimized by men so bad you seem to go looking for it.

 

And you hold on calling them sonsab*tches the whole way

 

Whats going on with you?

 

Serious question

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MissCanuck Grand Master

MissCanuck

Posted
Posted
I think his whole behaviour is not normal at all

 

Eh, I don't think that matters much to you, really.

 

You're enjoying his attention enough to let him continue contacting you. That says a lot more about you than it does about him. He isn't pretending not to be weird. But you are pretending that it bothers you, when it obviously doesn't.

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Chrys31 Collaborator

Chrys31

Posted
Posted
Eh, I don't think that matters much to you, really.

 

You're enjoying his attention enough to let him continue contacting you. That says a lot more about you than it does about him. He isn't pretending not to be weird. But you are pretending that it bothers you, when it obviously doesn't.

 

Well just to make myself clear.

 

I liked this guy, but he started behaving weird after the fourth date, with the peak the latest days.

 

So i was wondering what is going on really.

 

But since i see he might actually be a psycho, i will just leave it

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted
I explained I think before.

 

Case closed

 

No you didn't!

 

Why did you continue engaging with him?

 

Why didn't you block him immediately after discovering what a "whacko" he was?

 

Several of us have asked this but you refused to answer.

 

A stable woman would have, nevermind what a weirdo HE is, look at your own behavior!

 

What's going on with you that kept you engaging with him!

 

Indulging the lunacy.

 

Think about it, at least!

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted

You know Chrys, no one is gonna judge you for enjoying the attention, being intrigued on some level, what's frustrating is that you seem to be in complete denial about it.

 

When it's just so obvious that's what's happening.

 

Just own it, look within as to why and learn from it.

 

God knows I've been intrigued by some serious "players," knew they were bad news but enjoyed the attention.

 

But I owned it, looked within as to why and learned from ot.

 

That's all we ask you do versus continue to focus on what a "weirdo" he is.

 

You won't learn anything about yourself from doing that, except continue to attract weirdos.

 

it serves no good pupose.

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katrina1980 Grand Master

katrina1980

Posted
Posted
well the guy suddenly changed behaviour after the 4th date to a complete whack behaviour so i was wondering why this have been the case.

 

I didnt expect he would reach that length yesterday

 

 

I get that, you wanted to understand his behaviour which is why you posted here for insight.

 

But that does not explain why you continued to indulge him.

 

Did you think by continuing to engage with him, not block as another woman would have done, HE was going to provide you insight into his behaviour?

 

You don't have to answer to us, just think about it, your own behaviour, on your own.

 

Moving forward, when you realize a man, no matter how old he is as there are 50+ men who behave like this, is a weirdo, whacko, psycho, playing you or just lost interest, stop engaging with him.

 

Don't allow him to play you, doing so is now on you.

 

It becomes more about you at that point, not him.

 

Best of luck.

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MissCanuck Grand Master

MissCanuck

Posted
Posted
I have deleted his number

 

That wasn't my question. My question was if you had blocked him, but I see now that the answer is no. Deleting someone's number means nothing in terms of preventing contact from them.

 

You ask why a 40-year-old man who says he wants marriage and kids would behave like this. Well, the answer is because many naive women will fall for the "marriage and children" line and consequently wind up right where he wants them - in his bed. It's a cliche right out of the player handbook. Your mistake was believing that men at his age are somehow incapable of being players.

 

He might want a wife and children someday with someone, sure. That doesn't mean he won't try to sleep with random women in the meantime while he's on the hunt for the one he actually wants to date. She isn't you, you've learned.

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