Drunk text to new guy, how to reverse it?

[katrina1980]

Oh man I didn't realize he was 53! Yeah that makes a difference and this situation has everything wrong with it.

 

I really need to take fio's advice from a previous thread and start reading threads more closely!

 

In my defense, I haven't been myself lately.

[Clio]

You don't need to reverse anything. You need to never mention it unless he wants to discuss it. He now knows how you feel so his actions henceforth are your answer.

 

Having said that, this guy sounds no good. At 53, he knows full well how creepy it is encouraging someone who is young enough to be his daughter AND is the child of his best friend, yet he has been encouraging you. Playing coy at his age, like he did in these messages and his behaviour so far, shows immaturity and lack of a sound code of honor. That's unattractive at any age, let alone at 53.

 

P.S. Imo, "older" is +8 to 12 years, +22 years is "ancient". I just don't get it...

[Capricorn3]

Man, that really made me cringe big time. Going by his response I don't think he's really that interested - friends maybe, but anything more, I don't think so.

I would call him and apologise for the cringy/embarrassing drunken text and leave it at that.

[purplepaisley]

Man, that really made me cringe big time. Going by his response I don't think he's really that interested - friends maybe, but anything more, I don't think so.

I would call him and apologise for the cringy/embarrassing drunken text and leave it at that.

 

I think he's attracted to her...interested...and it weren't for the fact that her father is his BFF, he would be more bold in pursuing this. If she were maybe older, he may be more bold in pursuing this. I think he's interested, but given her age and the fact that she's his best friend's daughter, he hasn't actively pursued.

 

He knew she was attracted to him all along, and before she got all drunk-texty, he knew that she was attracted to him...he knew. Unless he is dense as a rock, he knew. And he has been equally attracted to her. He doesn't want to get involved with his best friend's child, let alone someone 2-3 decades his junior (but he does), but the fact that this woman is his best friend's daughter is not going to go over well...and it's a little creepy. He enjoys the attention. He enjoys the spark. He's putting on this "buddy" and "hang out" routine, but he's open to, and allowing more intimate interaction, inviting it and promoting it...cuddling...flirting...promoting one-on-one time together, playing platonic but accepting and even promoting more...then pulling back....pretending he is clueless and this is "just friends" and "sorry if I gave you the wrong idea"...um, no, he gave up the "idea" of wanting more in spades...there is no question here...he is attracted to her and he knows she is attracted to him.

 

I'm not faulting this man for his feelings, but I am faulting his actions. I'm faulting him for promoting and/or inviting something more. Maybe he's not as interested in her as she is with him...he takes the bull by the horns and avoids situations that lead her to think something more will happen or could happen...he knew and knows. Maybe he's interested in her but knows very well it's a bad situation, not something that can be pursued, so he takes the bulls by the horns and avoids situations that lead her to think something more will happen or could happen.

 

Dear OP - your dad's friends are off limits.

[milly007]

This guy is 53 years old. You can't convince me that not only has he not been well-aware of your crush on him, but he has a crush on you too. Him stating he doesn't know what that means is utter bullsh**. He's been around the block a few times, and he knows very well what the situation is.

 

I agree with this ^.

 

I don't see anything wrong with the text that you sent, OP.

 

Sure, maybe a little high school-ish, but heck, it isn't always easy letting someone know that you like them. Good for you for being upfront and wanting to know where he stands in regards to his feelings towards you. I'm a huge fan of being upfront and straight-forwardness, so I can appreciate your mindset here.

 

I'm not really buying into his comment that he isn't quite sure what the word 'crush' means, and maybe I'm just not a fan of how he explained himself, but guy knows what 'crush' means. He's a 50 year old man, so yeah, he knows.

 

Maybe the fact that he used the word 'friendship' made you question his intentions, but frankly, can't say I blame you. If you've been cuddling together and he's sending you "wish you were here messages", the term friendship would confuse me as well. The problem with receiving a message like that via text when you like someone is that we tend to over-analyze. When we like someone, our emotions are involved and it's hard to think clearly sometimes. But you didn't do anything wrong. You showed vulnerability and you were upfront with how you felt. Don't beat yourself up over this. As some of the others have mentioned, own what you said. No need to bring up the text next time you see him.

 

In terms of his response, I'm not quite sure what to think of it. His response could mean that he's just taking his time getting to know you and likes what he knows so far, or it could be that he's only looking for something casual right now. Overall, it was generally a wishy-washy type of reply. I'm not sure how that would sit with me if I was seeing someone and they said this to me.

 

Just be careful with this guy, OP. If you were a friend of mind, I'd suggest avoiding him due to the age gap alone. The fact that he's a friend of your dad's makes things even more messy.

 

Good luck! Just remember to not be so hard on yourself. You let a man know that you liked him and that's great. No biggie. I wish more people were open with their feelings these days.

[MissCanuck]

He probably finds you attractive, OP, but he's also friends with your father.

 

The likelihood that he is going to risk your Dad's wrath and pursue you is slim. I would not get your hopes up here.