Are these human scratches?

[Wiseman2]

Great question.

How are you getting pictures of HIS scratches ?

[thealchemist]

I don't know about everyone else but I've only ever been scratched in my life through inappropriate sexual interactions with extramarital relations.

[Wiseman2]

Agree this may be a problem

Damning evidence chilled our relationship.

[Angmat]

Exactly my point! I think he's being scratched by a woman he is having sex with outside our relationship. Might as well be extra marital.

[Angmat]

Ps. He was over again today. Guess what I noticed that I may not have seen the other day? You guessed it. More scratches. A scratch on his ass, a scratch on his bicep, a scratch on the back of his head, scratches on the side of his chest/nipple. Scratches on his chest, shoulders (front and back) and scratches on his wrist. So, do tell me I am being paranoid?

[Seraphim]

Break up. Why torture yourself?

[Angmat]

Seraphim, do you think the new scratches mean he cheated? I'm just lying here in bed after he left and I am feeling pretty gutted. There is no worse feeling on earth. I love him, you see. I have loved him for 5 years. And I don't want to believe he could be that kind of a-hole. But all the new scratches have just made me sink even deeper. :(

[boltnrun]

So did you ask him about the scratches?

 

Maybe he has an embarrassing rash. I currently have one in places I wouldn't like anyone else to see, but, again, it's not from sex.

 

Again, do you have him strip down and you inspect his body while he stands there letting you do it? Or do you inspect him while he's sleeping?

[Seraphim]

I wouldn’t stay with someone I don’t trust ,period. Love them or not. More than half my life is over so I don’t have time for shenanigans that people pull. I would just walk.

[Angmat]

Ps. I've got a kid was autism. And I've been diagnosed with PTSD. He knows this and tells me it's my PTSD which makes me think he is cheating. He swears he isn't cheating and it's all in my head. He told me the scratches are due to his psoriasis. He has had this skin condition well before I met him. And during our 5 year relationship, scratches have appeared on his body. He said he put those scratches there because he is itchy due to his skin condition and therefore scratches but my gut instinct is screaming at me that something is wrong. We've had several bad blow up's lately because I've accused him of cheating. And I wouldn't back down. Called him really bad names and attacked his character. I believe strongly he is and I guess I was trying my hardest to get him to confess. To try to appeal to any shred of conscience he might have. But he will never admit it. He does not wear a condom. I am trusting him. Have been for 5 years. They say if there are problems, people cheat. Well, we've had problems. But they've been worse in the past few months. I worry he just gave up and went somewhere else. Because I kept pushing him with my accusations. But he keeps coming back to me. Stays with me. Says he loves me. Wants me to stay with him forever. He says I am his best sex ever. So, why then would he ever feel a need to cheat on me? As evidenced by the newest scratches? He cheated on an ex wife when things got tough. So, how can I never be afraid he will do the same thing to me? Things have gotten tough and today I see scratches. I have tried everything I can think of to trust this man but I keep coming up short. And it's killing me because I truly love him and I know my life would not be the same without him. I guess I have enough pain in my life. I don't need more. I could not handle more. The devastation of a broken heart is nothing I could handle right now. My child needs me to be strong and stable.

[boltnrun]

How do you see these scratches?

 

How come you won't answer the questions about how you see his body in such detail?

[catfeeder]

If you don't trust your BF, then what are you doing with him?

[Seraphim]

Then you NEED to address your PTSD. He doesn’t have to put up with abuse because you have mental health issues. ( I have PTSD and an autistic son as well btw)

[Angmat]

I see these scratches because I am always looking at his body for scratches. So I notice everything on his body. I look at it when he's showering or when he's naked in bed or standing naked in front of me.

[Angmat]

Wow Seraphim. I never expected to find someone with that in common. Autism really took a heavy toll on me. Changed me and my son's life forever. I don't have the money to get help. In my country, it is very expensive to get treatment for mental health issues. So, I'm stuck. Tried anti depressants for anxiety but I had too many side effects. My bf literally begs me to take the meds and get help. But I wonder if he uses my mental health to his advantage to gas light me and say it's all in my head, like cheaters do.

[Seraphim]

You calling him names is on you though.

 

If it is this bad for you a relationship is not what you need right now whether you love him or not.

[Angmat]

He's willing to hang onto me though. Even after all I've said and done, which would have made most men walk away and never look back, he is still here. And talking about our future. It boggles my mind why he would put up with it?

[Seraphim]

He's willing to hang onto me though. Even after all I've said and done, which would have made most men walk away and never look back, he is still here. And talking about our future. It boggles my mind why he would put up with it?

 

Who knows. Low self esteem? But this is not a good relationship for either one of you . And just because you are willing to hang onto each other doesn’t mean that it’s any good or not causing you both damage.

[Angmat]

You're right. It's been a rollercoaster ride. We tend to live in extremes: either highs or lows. There is never any middle ground. It's emotionally exhausting. It's almost as if we are addicted to each other or co-dependent.

[boltnrun]

I see these scratches because I am always looking at his body for scratches. So I notice everything on his body. I look at it when he's showering or when he's naked in bed or standing naked in front of me.

 

Do you feel this is normal behavior to engage in a healthy relationship?

 

I mean, you check his body regularly (daily?) for scratches??

 

Does HE check YOU for scratches? Make you stand naked in front of him while he inspects you?

[Wiseman2]

Please see a doctor and therapist. Many of the delusions are tormenting you...and him. Not only delusions of infidelity but delusions that he is gaslighting you, etc.. You will lose him not to cheating but to delusions and refusing to get help.

 

Paranoia can have several causes, many of the things you listed as suffering from. Unless you are a dermatologist or forensic pathologist for all you know it could be dermatographia, poison ivy or even bedbug bites, so stop sleeping with him.

Tried anti depressants for anxiety but I had too many side effects. My bf literally begs me to take the meds and get help.

[Angmat]

No, he doesn't inspect my body for any injuries. Because he trusts me. If he sees something out of the ordinary, he will ask about it, I will explain how I got it, and he will accept my explanation and move on. I know how, where and when I get my scratches and cuts. Like the other day, I got scratched when a bike fell on me and when I was carrying a ton of plastic grocery bags around my wrists. Or from when I shave my legs or underarms. I never once have had any "questionable" scratches and mine appear once in awhile, not every week.

[Honeycomb8]

Get therapy.

[boltnrun]

No, he doesn't inspect my body for any injuries. Because he trusts me. If he sees something out of the ordinary, he will ask about it, I will explain how I got it, and he will accept my explanation and move on. I know how, where and when I get my scratches and cuts. Like the other day, I got scratched when a bike fell on me and when I was carrying a ton of plastic grocery bags around my wrists. Or from when I shave my legs or underarms. I never once have had any "questionable" scratches and mine appear once in awhile, not every week.

 

So why can't you do him the same courtesy?

 

If you are so absolutely 100% convinced he's cheating, why on earth do you continue to put the both of you through this ridiculous torture?

[j.man]

Lady, you're ****ed. Sincerely, consider a professional to speak with.