MissCanuck Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 This morning as I left for work I saw a bunny in my yard and it just froze and stared at me....usually they just run away. My ex had a pet bunny that died while we were together and the bunny looked just Goppy....not sure if I'm reading into it too much but seems a sign A sign of...what? Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 12, 2018 Author Share Posted July 12, 2018 A sign of...what? Idk that were meant to be? Maybe im just a lunatic who knows lol Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 C12189, What you are going through is totally normal - chin up. Would you please head over to youtube and listen to some of DatingGuy's videos on his channel. Kia Kaha. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 12, 2018 Share Posted July 12, 2018 A rabbit stopping and looking at you has no bearing on how your ex feels. You’re grasping at straws there. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 12, 2018 Author Share Posted July 12, 2018 A rabbit stopping and looking at you has no bearing on how your ex feels. You’re grasping at straws there. Yea i figured as much lol Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 Made it through day 10....still miss her a lot. Ignoring her seems so dirty and wrong, but I guess its the right thing to do Link to comment
boltnrun Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 I would agree there's some hope if she had said "Free Slurpee day at 7-11! Want to go get one together and talk things over?" As for the rabbit? Yeah, really reaching there. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 I would agree there's some hope if she had said "Free Slurpee day at 7-11! Want to go get one together and talk things over?" As for the rabbit? Yeah, really reaching there. Yea that would be ideal...day 11....will update on therapist Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 At the doctors in NYC and of course it's right around where she works and lives....so many memories.....I don't know to laugh or cry Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted July 13, 2018 Share Posted July 13, 2018 I tend to have a horrible habit of self-sabotaging myself any time things are going well or good for me. It is like I sub-consciously feel I do not deserve to have someone who cares for me or wants to be with me, so when someone like that comes around ill just shoot myself in the foot if that makes sense So if I may ask, what makes you so sure that if she were to want to get back together, you wouldn't self-sabotage again? You need to get to the root of why you self-sabotage! Otherwise the same thing will happen again, in every relationship you have, including this one should she change her mind and want to give it another shot. Spend your energy focusing on that, and why you felt inclined to start drinking again when things were going well. You said a few posts back you have no clue? Please focus on getting a clue, otherwise as I said, this extremely unhealthy pattern of self-sabotage and drinking will continue happening. Forget about her, she's gone, doesn't trust you, rightfully so. I'm sorry you're hurting, these issues are tough to navigate and resolve. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 13, 2018 Author Share Posted July 13, 2018 So if I may ask, what makes you so sure that if she were to want to get back together, you wouldn't self-sabotage again? You need to get to the root of why you self-sabotage! Otherwise the same thing will happen again, in every relationship you have, including this one should she change her mind and want to give it another shot. Spend your energy focusing on that, and why you felt inclined to start drinking again when things were going well. You said a few posts back you have no clue? Please focus on getting a clue, otherwise as I said, this extremely unhealthy pattern of self-sabotage and drinking will continue happening. Forget about her, she's gone, doesn't trust you, rightfully so. I'm sorry you're hurting, these issues are tough to navigate and resolve. I see a therapist later today to discuss these issues Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 so quick update met with the Therapist and she advised me to give this girl a call, apologize, and then move on. So I did. She broke down crying saying shes been waiting for this for months and she cares for me and how proud of me she is . We met up Sunday to get my stuff and that quickly turned into a day where it was like we were dating again (holding hands, kissing). She wants to pursue this new relationship and I told her I respected whatever decision she made and that she respect my process to heal and whatnot by not contacting me at all unless its reconciliation. So I guess im back on day 1 of NC but I feel much better than I did before. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 Glad you are feeling better. You now have your closure, so you can move on and set your sights on a healthier life - physically and emotionally - for yourself. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted July 16, 2018 Share Posted July 16, 2018 So you went backwards to day 1... sort of. As Missy C says, now you have some sort of closure. Now work on yourself - maybe in a year or so she'll come back - or you'll already have found someone new. Kia kaha brother. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 i look at it as 1 step backwards for 3 steps forward. Although I am back on Day 1 on NC, I feel much better than I did when I was on day 11 previously Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 Starting day 2 NC, it's crazy how many times I need to remind myself we aren't together anymore, my mind runs through these future plans and always includes her Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Starting day 2 NC, it's crazy how many times I need to remind myself we aren't together anymore, my mind runs through these future plans and always includes her That will diminish as you have less contact with her. Once you're adjusted to this new phase of your life, you plans naturally won't include her anymore. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 That will diminish as you have less contact with her. Once you're adjusted to this new phase of your life, you plans naturally won't include her anymore. I suppose. I just keep thinking of her and its very draining to have to constantly remind myself its over Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 Various posters have said that after a while you stop counting the days - after about a month or two. I think for me it was about a month - I honestly can't remember now, and I can't be f****d working it out anymore. Its been about 5 months. And yes you still think of them... just not in the same way. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 17, 2018 Author Share Posted July 17, 2018 Afternoon started well but then crumbled into disaster....I'm sick of feeling like this Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted July 18, 2018 Share Posted July 18, 2018 Afternoon started well but then crumbled into disaster....I'm sick of feeling like this The only real remedy is time; it won't feel better right away. You'll have ups and downs. But trust the process. Trust that with time, and continued No Contact, you will start to feel okay again. Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 18, 2018 Author Share Posted July 18, 2018 430 am and she's all I can think of. I'm gonna go crazy I have these scenarios running around in my head at warp speed of getting her back Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 Day 4...feeling numb to everything Link to comment
Chris12189 Posted July 20, 2018 Author Share Posted July 20, 2018 Made it through to Day 4. Met with the therapist today and shes helping me change my way of thinking to a more positive outlook. It helps alot. She also recommends not totally ignoring my ex but not being so open to her messages. I doubt Ill hear from her after Sunday. I am at least having part of the day where I am somewhat normal but seems to be when I am alone my mind races and hatches these crazy schemes to get her back. I am starting to accept its over but I feel deep down I will be with her again when I make some progress on myself. Its funny how the days of going without contacting her drag on by but its nearly been 3 weeks without alcohol and I havent thought twice about it. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Sounds like you have replaced your addiction to alcohol with an addiction to your ex. Link to comment
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