HATE my job

[Bigchief]

I have a very well paid job that supports my wife and I. The money is very good and I work very hard. I used to love it now I hate it. I get stressed which is what makes me good at what I do. but now we have merged with another bigger company and I have lost a lot of the seniority that I had, now I have a whole string of idiots questioning my every move (lawyers/credit etc). Its a nightmare.

 

Every Monday morning (and Sunday night I have the fear) I am drinking way too much and am under so much stress I cant handle it. My job is 24/7 and used to be amazing, now I am showing all the signs of complete burnout meltdown.

 

I cant quit cos we cant afford it- I cant go on either.

 

I got a big bonus and on paper everything is fine, but I am a good sales guy, inside I am dead I cant continue like this. Something will pop (me).

[Wiseman2]

Tune up your resume and start looking around.

[luminousone]

1. Stop the drinking for now. It will only make things worse

2. Start looking for a new job.

 

Have you talked with your wife about options? The two clues that tell you hat you need to change are the drinking and the Sunday evening dread.

 

Sometimes for a larger company, you might be able to apply for a lateral position in another department, so you can retain your seniority and benefits - but you get the feeling of starting something new.. But that does not sound feasible here.

 

You've got to make the change now.

[itsallgrand]

Why does your wife not work if you can't afford to have ample savings set aside in case of a situation like this or an emergency where you can't work ?!

How can you be making what you call very good money and yet feel trapped?

 

Talk with your wife. Tell her you need to look for another job, as this one is making you sick and miserable. Ask her for her support and help to get through this as a team. Maybe you have to cut expenses for a while. Maybe she could also work so the sole burden isn't on you.

[Batya33]

I would talk to a trusted friend -maybe someone who does recruiting - or do a free consultation with a life coach who comes highly recommended (most do free for the initial meeting). Get a very clear picture of what, realistically, the right fit would be for you. What does your wife do to contribute financially/to the household?

[dias]

Why does your wife not work if you can't afford to have ample savings set aside in case of a situation like this or an emergency where you can't work ?!

How can you be making what you call very good money and yet feel trapped?

 

Talk with your wife. Tell her you need to look for another job, as this one is making you sick and miserable. Ask her for her support and help to get through this as a team. Maybe you have to cut expenses for a while. Maybe she could also work so the sole burden isn't on you.

Money is one parameter in the equation, it's not everything.

 

I agree with the rest. OP, is your wife working?

[nutbrownhare]

Actually, I would have thought that looking for an increased level of seniority and responsibility, along with your proven track record, would stand you in very good stead in the jobs market.

 

Stop the drinking, which is likely to cause its own problems in time - for a start, alcohol's a depressant! I used to work in a very stressful job, and found that when I started taking beta blockers (initially to control a hand tremor) (not caused by alcohol!) they controlled the anxiety sufficiently for it not to be an additional stressor. It could be that in the very short term, medication could see you through.

 

Whatever, this situation isn't tenable for you and you need to keep your wits about you while you look for something bigger and better!

[Bigchief]

Having posted that has made me feel so much better, really feel like its a weight off my shoulders- thank you all form bottom of my heart.

So in response to some questions: wife works very hard and is doing really well but I make easily ten times as much (its a nice place to be on paper), hence Im the bread winner and thats the way it is. Wife is awesome and completely supports me i whatever we want to do, im blessed on that front. Im in a very lucky position as I do have a great job but the stress is ridiculous at the moment.

 

I am going to take your advice and talk to someone and also I am going to aggressively target a promotion internally (to VP Director).

 

Having shared this with y'all has been a massive weight lifted- thank you.

[Hollyj]

Look for another job.

[canadaman815]

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Jobs and transitions within jobs can be terribly stressful, and the decision about whether or not to wait it out and see if your body and mind adjust to the demands of the job can be really difficult. I have been stuck in at least two positions before where I simply needed to quit, even if it meant being without a job for a while, for the good of my mental and emotional health.

 

I would agree with previous posters about searching for other positions or a career specialist. Is this the kind of job you want to be in long-term? Do you think it will be worth waiting out the worst of it, or is it time to move on? I also might suggest seeing a personal counselor to talk you through the stress that your job is placing on you right now - it certainly could help to have somebody professional to vent to. Hoping things get easier!

[Starlight925]

I can sooooo feel your pain. I left a high-paying job/career at age 42 and decided I'd rather be on the streets before I'd go back one more day. I finally quit after one more day of crying and being so miserable I couldn't stand it. I didn't have another job to go to!

 

I put on the happiest face I could, and job-searched, figuring if I could make 70% LESS, I'd be able to still pay my bills. Long story short, I found something where, as it turns out, the job/company/position is great, the financial package is better, and I actually really enjoy what I do, and who I work for. 13 years later, I'm still here.

 

I looked back on my resume of 6 or 7 different jobs, different companies, and thought.....what's wrong with me? Now, I realize, what was wrong was with them. It was like leaving dysfunctional relationships. When you're finally in a normal one, you realize you were the normal one all along.

 

I was in the fashion world, in very much a Devil Wears Prada kind of life. Looks amazing on the outside, horrible on the inside. I thank my lucky stars every day I'm doing something so completely different, boring-sounding, but something I very much like.

 

My advice is to job search. Get on every job site you can, get your resume polished up super clean, go on interviews, keep your linked in current, write handwritten thank you notes, shake lots of hands. You'll find something better....I can assure you, it's out there.

[Bigchief]

Well, really tried to put a positive spin on things- yesterday was just a just a nightmare. Folks coming up to me, man your having a really hard time its not fair........Your getting a lot of pressure etc. I am but its getting worse, its just nonstop. I was off for medical reasons yesterday but still took over 55 commercial calls yesterday. The medical reason is absolutely stress related the doctor said and I need to change. I explained why that wasn't possible certainly in next 14 days- she got it but said something will blow soon and you need to be careful as lots of senior execs she sees at early stages of burnout like me and it blows up quick. I have wine and Xnax to paper over the cracks. I know its not a long term solution........ wife supportive but also going what the hell is up with you?

I feel everyone has turned on me, everyone is against me, Im not wrong. Lat night I just turned my phone off at 8pm because it non stop rings and every call is hassle!

I need to get out but what about the wife. would love baby but im a fat (never fat before) too stressed out for sex. Im there like dude you ever i'd say that? too stressed for sex!!

 

Anyway im working on distressing and taking things less personally. To be honest thats why I am successful is that I do take thing personally and get super stressed in a good way. But now Im dealing with a comedy of fools they dont get our legacy business. Yoga tonight and beers lots of beers after