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Bigchief

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  1. Thanks for all your advice. I'm so sad and worried about it. I saw a counsellor today and we have a joint session planned on Saturday. As I said I have stopped drinking completely. I need my wife back!
  2. Thanks you, I used to come home hammered once a week (on a Friday) and we would have a night nurse that night. I have stopped drinking completely now until this is resolved or maybe forever.
  3. My wife and I have had twins, great! They are a joy and almost a year. We brought them home to London two weeks ago to meet the grandparents (all covid tested etc). She didn't drink or smoke during the pregnancy at all, I was very proud. Now she is drinking at least 2-3 bottles of wine every evening. Its a nightmare she changes into a compete B**** and is very insulting. Previously her mother had mentioned that perhaps she was drinking to much and the agreed a few glasses (two) a night should be the max. Back in London she got drunk and had a massive fight with her mum and stormed off with the twins. Then the next day her Dad tried to intervene and she flipped out at him too, it ruined the entire trip. Massive family row. She then had big row with me because I "didn't have her back" and everyone is ganging up against her, but I agree with the parents completely. After London we returned home (abroad) and I have stopped drinking completely for a few days (doing a dry September at least). I cant get through to her at all she was so insulting to me tonight after coming home from dinner with a friend (drunk). "She hates me we have nothing but the twins to show for our marriage etc", I just said go to bed and we would talk in the morning, but tomorrow she will be hungover and cranky, I go to work and when I get home in the evening she is on it again. We are very lucky in that we have a brilliant Nanny that lives with us. My wife is devoted to her kids and is brilliant during the day (until 1800), as am I and the Nanny. This should be the happiest time of our lives as they are growing so quickly. Also everytime we go out socially she gets smashed and is highly embarrassing, I had to bring her home forcefully a few times from events, a work event was especially embarrassing. Its become an ongoing joke I try to play down as I dont want to embarrass her. I cant handle this anymore myself, she wont listen to me or any friends or relatives to change. She has gone from drinking zero to 3 bottles of wine a night since Jan 2020 also smoking life a fish. I am afraid she will kill herself or even worse fall with a baby in hand, if there was an emergency at night she would not be able to function. They are getting heavier and mobile. Shes threatening divorce when shes hammered, I am there really what do you plan to do exactly when that happens? No Nanny, No house and back to London to live with your mum is the reality. I am really worried she will drive off with some day in a rage. I think she is losing her mind to be honest. The Nanny wouldn't let her We had tried Zoom counselling but the next available one is next week that a long time and another 20 bottles of wine and seven painful evenings for me, I am so glad when she finally conks outs, its like thank god that over- its like domestic abuse. For the first time in my life I almost felt like hitting her shes so obnoxious and digressive (I never would or have). I make all the money and pay for everything (including the wine) my job is also really hard and stressful right now. My colleague told me today mate you look absolutely exhausted. I am! I'm on antidepressants over it, otherwise I cant sleep. Should I get her parents to fly in? This is going to get really nasty, I know it. I love her, well the old her or when she is sober she is so thoughtful and kind. I think shes going mad-Covid didn't help. Please any advice? thank you PS I just texted her saying I am not talking to you until you apologize for last night. She will have no recollection and will say oh your exaggerating, what about the time you came home late hammered (plenty of examples of that) but that part of my job. But I am not talking to her until she apologizing. We have dinner tomorrow night she can go by herself.
  4. Further to my previous posts, my situation has gotten even worse and its spiraling out of control, I cant handle it at all and I am a nervous wreck which means I cant work properly, which is making it worse. I cant face anyone in work without having a panic attack. My old boss got promoted and my new boss really resents this as he knows I am part of the old boss clique. He has now full autonomy over the team and is really out to get me. I had to fire one on my supports and now it looks like she will not be replaced (which really effects my performance). I have been assigned a new engineer (who is only there due to family connections) he is the weakest in the entire team. I essentially have 3 bosses now and 2 of them see me as direct competition and are genuinely trying to set me up on so many levels. One in particular is extremely political and vindictive. I would love to quit, it is causing me absolute hell and I can only see it getting worse, everything is lining up against me. I cant quit as my job is the reason I have a visa for my family, also we cant afford it. On paper its a very good job and very well paid. I am at the point now of breakdown, I just want to run away. But I cant I am trapped, completely trapped. I cant file for constructive dismissal either as that would ruin my name in the industry. All I want to do is drink and escape. Help!
  5. Well, really tried to put a positive spin on things- yesterday was just a just a nightmare. Folks coming up to me, man your having a really hard time its not fair........Your getting a lot of pressure etc. I am but its getting worse, its just nonstop. I was off for medical reasons yesterday but still took over 55 commercial calls yesterday. The medical reason is absolutely stress related the doctor said and I need to change. I explained why that wasn't possible certainly in next 14 days- she got it but said something will blow soon and you need to be careful as lots of senior execs she sees at early stages of burnout like me and it blows up quick. I have wine and Xnax to paper over the cracks. I know its not a long term solution........ wife supportive but also going what the hell is up with you? I feel everyone has turned on me, everyone is against me, Im not wrong. Lat night I just turned my phone off at 8pm because it non stop rings and every call is hassle! I need to get out but what about the wife. would love baby but im a fat (never fat before) too stressed out for sex. Im there like dude you ever i'd say that? too stressed for sex!! Anyway im working on distressing and taking things less personally. To be honest thats why I am successful is that I do take thing personally and get super stressed in a good way. But now Im dealing with a comedy of fools they dont get our legacy business. Yoga tonight and beers lots of beers after
  6. Having posted that has made me feel so much better, really feel like its a weight off my shoulders- thank you all form bottom of my heart. So in response to some questions: wife works very hard and is doing really well but I make easily ten times as much (its a nice place to be on paper), hence Im the bread winner and thats the way it is. Wife is awesome and completely supports me i whatever we want to do, im blessed on that front. Im in a very lucky position as I do have a great job but the stress is ridiculous at the moment. I am going to take your advice and talk to someone and also I am going to aggressively target a promotion internally (to VP Director). Having shared this with y'all has been a massive weight lifted- thank you.
  7. I have a very well paid job that supports my wife and I. The money is very good and I work very hard. I used to love it now I hate it. I get stressed which is what makes me good at what I do. but now we have merged with another bigger company and I have lost a lot of the seniority that I had, now I have a whole string of idiots questioning my every move (lawyers/credit etc). Its a nightmare. Every Monday morning (and Sunday night I have the fear) I am drinking way too much and am under so much stress I cant handle it. My job is 24/7 and used to be amazing, now I am showing all the signs of complete burnout meltdown. I cant quit cos we cant afford it- I cant go on either. I got a big bonus and on paper everything is fine, but I am a good sales guy, inside I am dead I cant continue like this. Something will pop (me).
  8. Just read that back, its completely incoherent (I was tired and drunk- ironic that especially re the subject)- thanks for your responses, cant really expect people to take me seriously with a start note like that. I have asked enotalone to delete (dont know if they will), I will put together a proper summary and repost. thanks for patience. sorry
  9. Im married two years and its been mostly great, one year trying for babys and nothing yet but were all good and hope should happen shortly and medically were checked out and no worries- when god is ready! Love kids! Anyway, we have been great and we do drink quite a bit we are very sociable and that thhe culture we are in we go out for dinner and have weekend at weekends and we have so much fun and we go to great places. We both work hard and have spare cash so we eat/party well! Its been so much fun for 18 moths. One night I had an ex over, more a friend and all brook out and apparently I was flirting with her.......honestly want we are mates for 2o years catcalling up. Amway nightlight I saw this new manic side to my wife I had never seen, a super aggressive bully with little time for me and a whole load of new visions on brexit etc....Im there we never agreed this ? Bizarre, ok a few more nights she has juts got twisted to another level, where she fine with us but not with aamother group, Now she my wife and I Llove and care for her immensely, but dhr getting morre than feedback, thretr id proprer comapmy. shes drinking too much- hie sister came oeuvre to party i sune buyt looked that her sister was getting wined up also but aware and said guys this is great for a week too much in normal We are all normal, there is a weirdness when it comes to cutting wine culture
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