I'm literally losing my mind. I need Help.

[Lauren0020]

I just broke NC guys. (From a different number) he didn't answer.

[SweetGirl28]

I just broke NC guys. (From a different number) he didn't answer.

 

I can't try to help you anymore! Good luck sweetie.

[airlee]

You're a nurse? If so that's super cool! I do need a good distraction. Problem is I don't. I'm driving and I'm fighting back tears. My eyes watering but I havent cried since last Wednesday. So I don't want to. My heart hurts.

 

DON'T CALL HIM! As I'm telling you this, I am also telling myself Lol! Just think of all the negative! That's what I do! When those things flashes back in my head I suddenly feel in control and motivated until 10seconds later, I'm back to being a weak psycho freak again. Since we broke up, the one who was constantly messaging me was him until I told him IN PERSON that I don't want to hear anything from him, don't wanna see him, don't even wanna be friends with him (this is after he instead to leave his DIY tools as I may need them for my new place) look at me, looking strong and all but I regretted it!

I was proud of myself but then later on I realize "damn! If I hadn't told him that, he would of have carried on messaging me and we could probably sorted it out and gave ourselves another chance, we're probably still together now" that was playing in my head over and over again. Then I thought " stop it, he brought my things back for Christ sake" If he carried on messaging me that's because he wants us to be friends which is too pretentious and insensitive and I don't want that"

 

i still did not message him after that tools visit when he fix my radiator cos it was snowing and he was showing nicey nicey. What a pretentious arse! Week later, he messaged again and asked if I was doing alright and offered to put up my shelves. After he came, I left it with a thank you message and NC again until now. This weekend I was incredibly lonely and it really hits me being alone and all I can think was him. Since we broke up, we NEVER really talk. The break up looks like it was mutual but it wasn't! He was implying by initiating in taking his stuff out and was extremely cold and was excluding himself, I noticed it and I didn't react! I didn't wanna confront him and asked if he was breaking up with me cos it was fairly obvious and I didn't wanna beg and try to calm the situation in the hope of stopping him from going because I have already done that crap before. I have begged and sorted out the issue even though I was treated badly and called names and it wasn't just my fault. So I've just let him walk away that night and never told him my side of story and my frustrations. He wanted to talk that night and but I stopped him, he tried to stop himself from talking but I can see he was frustrated and blurted out that it was all my fault, again, I stopped him because the talk that he wanted wasn't a solution but to make me feel bad. So what's the point? We'll break and it's only going to hurt me more. So yeah, until now, he's never heard my frustrations and on weekend I wanted to call him and let it all out and get everything off my chest, I wanted to him how he's ruined my life. My life is ruined. It really is. Financially I am struggling cos of the apartment and I live far from work now, work got affected and my monthly budget for my parents support also got affected.

but then again realization hits--

He's never gonna understand me, he is in full commitment of misunderstanding me.

He won't realize and apologize and feel bad about it. He won't! Just look at how he was happy and bubbly last Monday when he came to put up shelves. The man is a true narcissist.

And so full of himself. As much as I wanted to talk to him, he'll only think that I am obsessed

With him. That I can't live my life without him. That I am miserable without him. Nahhh.... sod that! Enough disrespecting. I've had enough of it.

I am trying to show that it's his loss. It really is. I've put up a lot of his s**** because I feel like I was walking on an eggshells for a long time.

 

Look these men are not respecting us. And we can't force them to respect us because they are so perfect in their eyes. The only person that can really respect us are our own being.

I am now paying attention to myself and respecting myself by not letting anyone to disrespects me and hurt my feelings.

 

If you will call him as what many of us said here, you're not gonna gain anything. Please don't let him laugh at you. He won't care whatever you say anyway just like my ex.

 

We'll get over this soon. We will!

Watch something make you laugh.

[airlee]

I can't try to help you anymore! Good luck sweetie.

 

He knows it was you you little goose! Lol so he won't answer! He's probably annoyed by now. You are making yourself looking like a complete now (sorry lol) but it's true. Stop it. We are trying to be strong in here and we have been joining forces but here you are. Delete his number!! Leave alone for the love of god!!

[Lauren0020]

I can't try to help you anymore! Good luck sweetie.

 

Ok. You're being mean. NP. Take care.

[Lauren0020]

And thank goodness were not really friends "sweetie" you would bail out because I didn't make a decision that advised. Like its personally affecting u

Lol.

[SweetGirl28]

And thank goodness were not really friends "sweetie" you would bail out because I didn't make a decision that advised. Like its personally affecting u

Lol.

 

It's not that! I never bail. But you have to take the advice given because it's to help you, not hurt you.

I know it's ultimately your life but you are going to look like a crazed stalker and just ruin any chance of friendship you might have with him in the future. Using a different number is worse than using one he knows. And if that number doesn't get a text or call back from him, how are you going to feel?

 

My ex, the only one who ever dumped me, I left him alone after a nice text, and ten weeks later he contacted.

You have to give angry guys space. You doing this won't help you with him, nor will it help you heal.

 

Your situation doesn't personally affect me, but I've been where you are.

[Lauren0020]

It's not that! I never bail. But you have to take the advice given because it's to help you, not hurt you.

I know it's ultimately your life but you are going to look like a crazed stalker and just ruin any chance of friendship you might have with him in the future. Using a different number is worse than using one he knows. And if that number doesn't get a text or call back from him, how are you going to feel?

 

My ex, the only one who ever dumped me, I left him alone after a nice text, and ten weeks later he contacted.

You have to give angry guys space. You doing this won't help you with him, nor will it help you heal.

 

Your situation doesn't personally affect me, but I've been where you are.

 

Ok..........

Same as if a person is trying to quit smoking and you tell them not to and they lapse and take one puff, it'll be alright, Me personally I would tell them that and maybe ask how they feel and so forth not tell them good luck. Bye. Lol but everyone is different and you're not my real friend (I dont even know u) but anywho, thanks again for all your advice. Take care :0)

[Lauren0020]

He knows it was you you little goose! Lol so he won't answer! He's probably annoyed by now. You are making yourself looking like a complete now (sorry lol) but it's true. Stop it. We are trying to be strong in here and we have been joining forces but here you are. Delete his number!! Leave alone for the love of god!!

 

How does he automatically know it's me? A random phone call him weeks later that's not registered in my name completely different number and area code. I didn't leave a voicemail. So how can You be certain that he looked at his phone and said I know that's Lauren.

 

 

Logically I cant see how that can be proved with no ties between me and the number. I get it though, u dont want me to look weak and miserable and all of that but its hard and at the end of the day we've all been through something and if someone has a lapse doesnt make them less than. This world is too focused on games and rules and what have you. Personally I dont feel bad about him not answering although I broke no contact, it's like I didn't because my , MY....number never called him (as my number is blocked last time I called which was the actual date of breakup.)

 

I'll get thru this. I'm not any less of a person and neither will any of u be if u have a "slip" its life , u slip, wobble but EVENTUALLY u learn to have better balance.

 

Thanks again Airlee for your advice. :0)

[Minikimini]

This world is too focused on games and rules and what have you.

 

Having said that, I'm not understanding why you want to play these sorts of destructive games yourself.

[Lauren0020]

Having said that, I'm not understanding why you want to play these sorts of destructive games yourself.

 

Oh I don't, and I'm not. Thanks for your reply. Have a great day :0)

[Lauren0020]

Too much judging on this post. Yikes.

[veryhurt]

Too much judging on this post. Yikes.

 

Lauren - i just want you to know, guys go through this too. I'm in a very similar situation right now. I don't blame you for breaking NC or calling or doing what you had to do. This has happened to me with my current ex and an ex from the past as well. Removing someone you care about cold turkey is really, really hard. Don't beat yourself up.

It's also human nature to want what we can't have. Even if that thing is of low value. I could have a garbage bag full of trash, tell you you cannot have it that it's valuable, and you'd be obsessed with it, even if you had 40 million in cash sitting in front of you. We are curious people.

I will tell you though from a male perspective, when a woman goes radio silent, even if you think she is mental prior to it, your mind starts to wonder why she is no longer blowing up your phone. Ive been on both ends of this. So if you really do want this guy back ever, just leave him. Let the guy wonder what you're doing. Let him encounter some crazy woman who makes him miss you.

 

Hang in there hun

[airlee]

How does he automatically know it's me? A random phone call him weeks later that's not registered in my name completely different number and area code. I didn't leave a voicemail. So how can You be certain that he looked at his phone and said I know that's Lauren.

 

 

Logically I cant see how that can be proved with no ties between me and the number. I get it though, u dont want me to look weak and miserable and all of that but its hard and at the end of the day we've all been through something and if someone has a lapse doesnt make them less than. This world is too focused on games and rules and what have you. Personally I dont feel bad about him not answering although I broke no contact, it's like I didn't because my , MY....number never called him (as my number is blocked last time I called which was the actual date of breakup.)

 

I'll get thru this. I'm not any less of a person and neither will any of u be if u have a "slip" its life , u slip, wobble but EVENTUALLY u learn to have better balance.

 

Thanks again Airlee for your advice. :0)

 

I've slipped before MANY times and I regretted it not because of me being weak but because of the result of my weakness, I've pushed people further away and made them hate me, and the worse part was, I showed to them that I didn't respect myself because if I did, I should've of accepted that they didn't wanna be with me. So If i cannot respect my own self, why even think they would. BUT, I've learned from my mistakes

hence here I am giving you advice because I've been there. At the end of the day you are your own person, you do what it takes to ease your pain but the result will cause you triple the pain than you're already feeling. It'll only get worse, go for it! Follow your heart. You'll experience 3x painful so be it, it's your choice. We've warned you! But at least you'll learn from it.

 

We are only advising you (hence we are in the forum to advice in the first place. To give opinions not to judge)

 

But I think Lauren, in all of these. I think you're forgetting your aim? Have a think properly and be honest to yourself. You want him back right?

Your aim is to want him back? I'm sure he won't be happy of you bothering him, maybe he won't be back.

 

 

Well, there is a thing called "instinct" he'll definitely have a gut feeling it's you.

So he broke up with his gf, blocked her number and suddenly receives calls with unrecognizable number and no one speaks on the other line?

 

He's not that stupid not to know though is he?

[Kimbles1215]

Hey @sweetgirl28 and @Lauren0020, just seen you replied.

 

Breaking the no contact rule was good for a few days before it got bad again, we met up, tried rekindling and it went ti*ts up from there. Broke up with him again Thursday and blocked him on everything but text as we never text. I had him text me yesterday asking for advice to my surprise, and then he messaged me again last night so I replied and he hasn't replied to me lol. Makes me feel like a complete idiot, which I am for evening thinking we could reconcile. What a silly girl I am :)

 

So yes, please do not break the NC rule. It really didn't help me and I'm back to square one feeling nothing but numbness.

[Lauren0020]

Lauren - i just want you to know, guys go through this too. I'm in a very similar situation right now. I don't blame you for breaking NC or calling or doing what you had to do. This has happened to me with my current ex and an ex from the past as well. Removing someone you care about cold turkey is really, really hard. Don't beat yourself up.

It's also human nature to want what we can't have. Even if that thing is of low value. I could have a garbage bag full of trash, tell you you cannot have it that it's valuable, and you'd be obsessed with it, even if you had 40 million in cash sitting in front of you. We are curious people.

I will tell you though from a male perspective, when a woman goes radio silent, even if you think she is mental prior to it, your mind starts to wonder why she is no longer blowing up your phone. Ive been on both ends of this. So if you really do want this guy back ever, just leave him. Let the guy wonder what you're doing. Let him encounter some crazy woman who makes him miss you.

 

Hang in there hun

 

Thanks dear for your post. I hope all is well with you! Appreciate your advice! If you ever need to talk, dont hesitate to reach out and post here!

[Lauren0020]

Airlee, I completely get it and understand fully. I'm good tho,.hope all is well. :0)

[Lauren0020]

Hey @sweetgirl28 and @Lauren0020, just seen you replied.

 

Breaking the no contact rule was good for a few days before it got bad again, we met up, tried rekindling and it went ti*ts up from there. Broke up with him again Thursday and blocked him on everything but text as we never text. I had him text me yesterday asking for advice to my surprise, and then he messaged me again last night so I replied and he hasn't replied to me lol. Makes me feel like a complete idiot, which I am for evening thinking we could reconcile. What a silly girl I am :)

 

So yes, please do not break the NC rule. It really didn't help me and I'm back to square one feeling nothing but numbness.

 

Kimbles, Hey! Hope all worked out and you're much stronger now. Fingers crossed for you! For the best!

[Blank State]

Hes avoiding the drama. Guys hate drama. You did what you needed to, and I hope it made you feel better.

Don't let whether you'll hear from him or not consume your thoughts though. You have to say goodbye to him

in your mind and then let your heart catch up. I'm really sorry you're so hurt.

This is a stereotype. Guys LOVE to say "I hate drama" but being a guy myself, I've seen guys be huge drama queens. I was in the Army. In an Airborne Infantry unit. Big, tough grunts. And I've seen guys gossip, complain, and be dramatic just like women do. As a matter of fact, I think men can be more dramatic than women many times. They are often times overly emotional and it shows in flaws in their attitude. Guys hate drama when they don't feel anything for the woman anymore.

 

If a guy is really into a girl, he can be super dramatic. But guys are very concerned with projecting certain images. What they want people to see. And so they try to hide the fact that they like drama. But don't be fooled into thinking that men don't like drama. Everyone does. People are just picky about what types of drama. If the drama embarrasses them, they'll hate it. If the drama is from someone they're done with, they'll hate it. But if the drama gives them attention or a release, they'll love it.

[Wiseman2]

The only numbers you should be calling are your doctor and therapist to help you navigate through this.

03-26-2018: he blocked me and told me to never contact him again. . I am now obsessing with my thoughts, feeling worthless, useless and not worthy of someone loving me. I feel like it's always something wrong with someone.

[boltnrun]

This is a stereotype. Guys LOVE to say "I hate drama" but being a guy myself, I've seen guys be huge drama queens. I was in the Army. In an Airborne Infantry unit. Big, tough grunts. And I've seen guys gossip, complain, and be dramatic just like women do. As a matter of fact, I think men can be more dramatic than women many times. They are often times overly emotional and it shows in flaws in their attitude. Guys hate drama when they don't feel anything for the woman anymore.

 

If a guy is really into a girl, he can be super dramatic. But guys are very concerned with projecting certain images. What they want people to see. And so they try to hide the fact that they like drama. But don't be fooled into thinking that men don't like drama. Everyone does. People are just picky about what types of drama. If the drama embarrasses them, they'll hate it. If the drama is from someone they're done with, they'll hate it. But if the drama gives them attention or a release, they'll love it.

 

I agree. My ex LOVED drama. He would set up situations where I would be at his house and he'd invite another woman over but tell me "I don't know why, she just showed up!! She wants me!!" Then he'd encourage me to physically fight these other women. He also told me that his ex tried to burn his house down and broke his windows. Then he told me "You never do anything like that. You must not really love me".

 

So, yeah.

 

Lauren, I hope you feel comfortable reaching out for professional help if you are not feeling any better.

[Lauren0020]

The only numbers you should be calling are your doctor and therapist to help you navigate through this.

 

Lol. Harsh much.

[Lauren0020]

Drama drama drama..... so true BlankState