I'm literally losing my mind. I need Help.

[Lauren0020]

How long have u too been broken up? Sry if I asked before and cant remember. U seem really strong, keep it going! Yes fast forwarding time would help tremendously. *sigh* I dont want to be tempted to keep unblocking him to see if he texted which he probably wouldn't. I'll try to stay strong enough to not even check it.

 

Thank u...I'm trying. Taking it a day at a time. I'm happy I can always reflect back to everyone comments to help me.

[SweetGirl28]

How long have u too been broken up? Sry if I asked before and cant remember. U seem really strong, keep it going! Yes fast forwarding time would help tremendously. *sigh* I dont want to be tempted to keep unblocking him to see if he texted which he probably wouldn't. I'll try to stay strong enough to not even check it.

 

Thank u...I'm trying. Taking it a day at a time. I'm happy I can always reflect back to everyone comments to help me.

 

It's been eight months already. We saw one another a couple times to hang out until Sept then he went dead silent. He started contact again for the past four months now. Its meaningless lol. Contact brings about a new roller coaster ride of emotions until you just stop caring, which is pretty much the point I'm at. It doesn't hold me back, I just can't seem to connect with anyone new. It never feels easy and right and magical like it did with him. I'll keep searching though.

 

One day at a time brings you closer to healing. Even if you get a setback. You'll be okay :)

Happy Easter ! I hope you have a wonderful day.

[airlee]

@airlee Thank you for this post as soon as I saw it I said yayy! I have something to read and respond to on a Friday night lol so thanks. I can't believe he broke up with you over that because u asked for helped packing/moving. Smh. Guys will find any reason any excuse for a way out. U don't deserve that and it doesn't seem like he have any patience either. Its crazy because all those questions u were asking at the beginning of the post is the exact same questions I've been asking myself. How long has it been since your separation? I think he'll come back around at some point.

 

Since I broke NC yesterday and he havent responded I'm beating myself up just a tad bit because he havent responded and now I'm regretting reaching out to him. I also took him off my block list so I could see if he call or text, I dont know if I should put him back on, I mean he isn't calling but I keep looking at my phone in hopes of having a message from him. Today was better than yesterday but today was a little sad. I'm trying to focus on the bad things about him when he pops in my head. I keep thinking about him someone laughing having a good time while I rot. The mind boggling part is you dont know what they're thinking or what they're doing...that's what's getting me. I just wish he would reach out.

 

*sigh*

 

It has been almost 3 weeks since we broke up.

First week, I forced myself to not to message him and for me to do that, I was re-visiting bad memories, I have been thinking of things that he's done that upsets/annoys me. Funny thing when dealing with break ups is that our mind suddenly stop supplying informations of bad memories and seems it's re-setting to where we can only remember the good time we had with them. But forced myself. What I did is that, every time I went down bad memory lane, I write it down. I write down events, situation and things he had said, actions that he's done that really upsets me and I read them over and over again especially before I go to bed. I Managed to pull the first week without messaging him, I blocked him off Instagram but not on WhatsApp. Part of me also want to see if he will message but he didn't until later that week on a Sunday, he messaged asking if I was doing alright? Like why the hell he would messaged and asked me if he was the one causing to make me sad? Well, I guess he cares. But I thought, why showing he cares if the whole time in the relationship he was devaluing me?

I replied a blunt "yeah, I'm okay thanks"

My point is- it's because he didn't get a reaction from me (as he was probably thinking I should be miserable and hurt) which I was- he was wondering and so he messaged me.

And again did not message him until now.

 

I don't think he will come back. I'm not hoping. He is too egotistical and so full of himself to even think of coming back. He wanted me to chase him. Nope I am not doing that.

And if he ever will come back, things will not be the same. I will be like walking on an egg shell, will be very careful with my actions/words or anything so that we won't break up again. That's not good is it?

 

Every time I wake up in my new place, all I can remember is him. We meant to be in this place together. But I thought, well maybe I can enjoy this place and the neighborhood with someone

Or myself. Why not! At the moment I'm keeping myself busy by making my place looks good.

 

I went out on dates!!! Too early I know but I am not of course sleeping with them. When we're dealing with break ups our self esteem goes down the drain but honestly, dating can actually boost the confidence back a little bit plus it's keeping me busy from talking to them.

I'm not saying you should too but point is.. this is one of the things that helps me. Maybe find something that will help you, therapist is good but for me I t didn't work. Because all we talked about was my time with him (of course it'll be us) and it hurst every time I remember him and our time so I opted out the therapist. I just want to forget everything and move on with my life.

 

 

I was also blaming myself, I thought if I was messaging him maybe were still together. But he wanted back and did not want us to be over, then he would of have asked right? But he didn't and I kept repeating that in my mind that

"He didn't ask me means he wanted out"

 

 

Another thing that helps me is that, I remember he said before when we were still together that

"Emotions is just in mind. It stimulates the brain. Everything is just in our mind love, anger, when we're feeling afraid everything"

And I applied that to myself every time I am sad and thought about him, about us I quickly tell myself "it's just in my mind"

 

I hope you'll feeling better soon. As I said, think about you and that your ex is long gone.

 

Write bad memories and read them, do not just think of them cos the good memories crossed over m.

 

Glam up and Go out and have fun with friends.

 

Oh have you spent a day just being miserable? I have! The whole day.. and on the phone with people. I dedicated that day just for that so next day and coming days won't involve crying.

 

And try not to think about the situation. That's just in your mind and he isn't probably thinking the same.

 

You can do this! We can do this.

 

Happy Easter :)

[Lauren0020]

Happy Easter and You too have a Great day!

 

You are so strong, such motivation! Do u think you'll ever want him back or are you just over it? I guess after times goes on that's what happens. It doesnt seem like he's done tho.

[Lauren0020]

@airlee Happy Easter! I got up and went to church this morning now I'm about to take myself and see a movie. I'm happy you've been dating and keeping your mind free and cleansed as best you can! I havent met a soul yet, I know it's still super early but I feel under pressure to meet at least one person just to have a guy to text and chat with. My phone is gone dry. Enjoy your place! I just recently moved and I'm into home decor so it was fascinating to decorate, I enjoy it! Yep your ex thinks about u and I'm sure alot. Seem tho he does care to text and ask if you're doing ok. Your message back to him was perfect, you kept it simple. What he was expecting you to say "No I'm doing badly. Come and save me oh great one" guys are blah. U have the power right now and seemingly hold the cards too. Just keep doing you and keeping yourself busy. I have a feeling you'll hear from him soon, very soon.

 

And Yes this past Thursday was my miserable day. Actually one of the worst days, I felt like I was weaning (sp) myself off a serious drug. He pops in my mind alot, when I'm driving. On the toilet, eating, in the shower, even doing homework but I quickly try to divert those thoughts to "eghhh what a loser I was with" I did use to walk on egg shells ALOT. Let me not say this he'll explode, let me keep this to myself because I don't want him to leave me. That's not healthy at all and wasnt good for me no one should be in a situation where they're not comfortable expressing themselves because of the anger of someone else and potential outcome (separation/breakup)

 

I'm 1 week and 2 days into the breakup and 3 days since breaking NC. On Thursday which was my worst day. I still cant believe after hearing my voicemail message he still havent reached out tho. After listening to what I said I would be compelled to reaching out just to check on me and talk. Guess the bastard really didn't care and it doesnt make sense cause if u never cared why the crap were u with me? I wouldn't be with someone for 1yr and a half and not care anything about them. Guys are weird. (No disrespect to the guys that's been giving me advice on this post lol)

 

I'm just still praying for strength and the days the pass, because I know as time goes on there feelings will diminish.

 

Thanks Airlee. *virtual hug*

[SweetGirl28]

Happy Easter and You too have a Great day!

 

You are so strong, such motivation! Do u think you'll ever want him back or are you just over it? I guess after times goes on that's what happens. It doesnt seem like he's done tho.

 

No doll, I'm done ! Too many games he plays. He just did it to me again a while ago with a text, I'm like I'm shutting his ego down lol so I did. And I mean it. I'm too old to be played with. Respect. Never settle for less. There's great guys out there that won't jerk us around. That's why I always say even though NC hurts, contact can be hurtful too, and NC is better.

It's very hard to be kicked in the friend zone but a lot of it has to do with just not finding that amazing connection that seemed to be so easy, so instant, you know? If I could find that his teasing wouldn't even affect me at all because I know I'm too nice for him. I don't even question if I am or not. I know when people tell me I'm too good for him, they mean it. They don't just say it for my benefit. I don't intentionally seek out to mind f*** anyone.

 

I meet plenty of guys, I just don't connect easily, and I'm not about to waste anyone's time nor my own just to not be alone. I went on dates, several of them since him. I'll just keep doing that til the right one crosses my path. I find a lot are just into passing time, rebounding, I stay away from that. I am looking for my forever, I don't want to serial date.

[Lauren0020]

Excuse my typos too. I see I made a few.

[Lauren0020]

No doll, I'm done ! Too many games he plays. He just did it to me again a while ago with a text, I'm like I'm shutting his ego down lol so I did. And I mean it. I'm too old to be played with. Respect. Never settle for less. There's great guys out there that won't jerk us around. That's why I always say even though NC hurts, contact can be hurtful too, and NC is better.

It's very hard to be kicked in the friend zone but a lot of it has to do with just not finding that amazing connection that seemed to be so easy, so instant, you know? If I could find that his teasing wouldn't even affect me at all because I know I'm too nice for him. I don't even question if I am or not. I know when people tell me I'm too good for him, they mean it. They don't just say it for my benefit. I don't intentionally seek out to mind f*** anyone.

 

I meet plenty of guys, I just don't connect easily, and I'm not about to waste anyone's time nor my own just to not be alone. I went on dates, several of them since him. I'll just keep doing that til the right one crosses my path. I find a lot are just into passing time, rebounding, I stay away from that. I am looking for my forever, I don't want to serial date.

 

I get it! Well you're on the right path, out there dating and I would always make sure I have the upper hand with him, if he reach out and u decide to respond I'll make sure it's late or very dry-like, nonchalant. He'll probably be wondering what's occupying you. Your forever will come one of those guys you go on dates with might be the one or you might meet him dating and somewhere else but I hope he find u soon or u find him, I hear they come when u least expect it out of nowhere.

 

I had a long day. Finally about to get some rest, today wasnt bad at all. I'm thankful for that!

[SweetGirl28]

Funny, I found him when I wasn't looking, so I expect the next guy I actually date more than once or twice will be the same situation again because those are actually the ones I've clicked the most with is the ones that just appear when not expected lol

 

Im glad your day wasn't bad! I hope each day gets easier for you.

[Lauren0020]

Funny, I found him when I wasn't looking, so I expect the next guy I actually date more than once or twice will be the same situation again because those are actually the ones I've clicked the most with is the ones that just appear when not expected lol

 

Im glad your day wasn't bad! I hope each day gets easier for you.

 

Thank You Sweetie! I'm doing my best, its dreary out today and I've been thinking about him here and there. *mad face emoji*

[SweetGirl28]

Thank You Sweetie! I'm doing my best, its dreary out today and I've been thinking about him here and there. *mad face emoji*

 

Snowed here! This surely does not look nor feel like spring!

Mad face emoji is okay, it's soon to be replaced with the one that laughs so hard it cries! That's my favorite one.

Your ex, he's the poop emoji!!! Lol

 

I found having one good friend who literally could turn anything funny got me through my intense pain.

Do you have a friend like that? If you do, reach out to them every day for a few minutes to lift your spirits.

If not, find a really funny sitcom you enjoy, and watch it every day. Laughter gets you really far :) ((((hugs)))))

[airlee]

@airlee Happy Easter! I got up and went to church this morning now I'm about to take myself and see a movie. I'm happy you've been dating and keeping your mind free and cleansed as best you can! I havent met a soul yet, I know it's still super early but I feel under pressure to meet at least one person just to have a guy to text and chat with. My phone is gone dry. Enjoy your place! I just recently moved and I'm into home decor so it was fascinating to decorate, I enjoy it! Yep your ex thinks about u and I'm sure alot. Seem tho he does care to text and ask if you're doing ok. Your message back to him was perfect, you kept it simple. What he was expecting you to say "No I'm doing badly. Come and save me oh great one" guys are blah. U have the power right now and seemingly hold the cards too. Just keep doing you and keeping yourself busy. I have a feeling you'll hear from him soon, very soon.

 

And Yes this past Thursday was my miserable day. Actually one of the worst days, I felt like I was weaning (sp) myself off a serious drug. He pops in my mind alot, when I'm driving. On the toilet, eating, in the shower, even doing homework but I quickly try to divert those thoughts to "eghhh what a loser I was with" I did use to walk on egg shells ALOT. Let me not say this he'll explode, let me keep this to myself because I don't want him to leave me. That's not healthy at all and wasnt good for me no one should be in a situation where they're not comfortable expressing themselves because of the anger of someone else and potential outcome (separation/breakup)

 

I'm 1 week and 2 days into the breakup and 3 days since breaking NC. On Thursday which was my worst day. I still cant believe after hearing my voicemail message he still havent reached out tho. After listening to what I said I would be compelled to reaching out just to check on me and talk. Guess the bastard really didn't care and it doesnt make sense cause if u never cared why the crap were u with me? I wouldn't be with someone for 1yr and a half and not care anything about them. Guys are weird. (No disrespect to the guys that's been giving me advice on this post lol)

 

I'm just still praying for strength and the days the pass, because I know as time goes on there feelings will diminish.

 

Thanks Airlee. *virtual hug*

 

Give yourself at least 3 weeks you'll be okay. Not completely recovered yet but after not hearing anything from him, it'll be easier than now. Nah, I don't think I would want us to have another chance. He's hurt me so bad! Plus those bad memories kept popping in my head, I guess reading them over and over again does help. As I mentioned on my previous post, I have so many questions and I know the answer would be no. Definitely, he will not change. Unless he will wake up one day and realized everything and asked for an apology and promise to correct his behavior but I doubt he will and even so, he's never gonna change. He's a flirter. He prioritize his friends and most of all he's too stubborn and too full of himself, he may be nice as a friend, cares and likes to help but that doesn't mean he's a nice bf. He's got an underlying temper which non of his friends know.

 

I can't be walking on an egg shell again, it's degrading! It's insulting! And will really hit my confidence. I feel like I don't have the freedom of speech. I should be able to express myself with whatever it is that makes me sad/upset but I can't otherwise he'll get angry, he won't understand. He doesn't know how to woo a woman.

 

You're right! I've heard from him. He came to help me fix my radiator and do some shelving at my flat. He came in with my stuff that I left at his. Strange, but I don't feel anything. I felt numb. He's at my place for 6 hrs and we talked as if we're friends (told him I didn't wanna be friends with him for now) but then I thought, I actually need a handyman and he offered so why not! Might as well used him (am I bad?) but my interaction with him was genuine! We were talking like normal. The tone of my voice is normal compared to 3 weeks ago. I thought I'll be sobbing and be emotional when I see him. But I don't know. I felt numb. We were so close when I was helping him putting the shelves, I could smell the soap that he used when taking shower, Strange but I didn't feel anything like wanting to hug him.

 

He hurt himself from screwing and I offered to put the bandage on as there blood stains all over my white wall, I could tell he was staring at me when I was putting it but didn't looked at him (this is like a scene in romcom) but I felt awkward in that moment. I should feel flattered but nope.

He accidentally elbow my face when we were putting the shelves, not too strong and he said "sorry honey" "honey is our endearment anyway, I know I shouldn't put meaning on it, it's just strange as I didn't feel anything. Have I moved on already? Part of me wanted us to get back together but I think most part of my being is saying no every time I thought about things he's done to me.

 

I think he's being friendly to me and I think reason why he would like to help it's because he felt bad that I got this place because of him.

 

As for your guy? Have you heard anything from him? If non, then good! It's good not to hear anything from him but I know what you feel. I've had that before. He just shows he doesn't care at all so please show the same. It's how he dealt with the situation.

 

Are you still hopeful to get back to him?

[airlee]

Snowed here! This surely does not look nor feel like spring!

Mad face emoji is okay, it's soon to be replaced with the one that laughs so hard it cries! That's my favorite one.

Your ex, he's the poop emoji!!! Lol

 

I found having one good friend who literally could turn anything funny got me through my intense pain.

Do you have a friend like that? If you do, reach out to them every day for a few minutes to lift your spirits.

If not, find a really funny sitcom you enjoy, and watch it every day. Laughter gets you really far :) ((((hugs)))))

 

Agree with sweet girl. Laughter does really helps. I have been watching stand up comedy on YouTube and it really got me far lol! Made me forget about him and Went to see comedy gig too. :)

[Lauren0020]

Yes I'm a bit confused with the season were in, winter or spring lol. Yes he is the crap emoji x's 10 lol!

 

Ummm a friend that constantly makes me laugh? Not really hehe but I have close family members I laugh alot with and I'm watching In Living Color, hilarious old school laughs! I came home relaxed myself and journaled. Each day I'm praying it continues to get easier for me. *tight hug*

[Lauren0020]

Agree with sweet girl. Laughter does really helps. I have been watching stand up comedy on YouTube and it really got me far lol! Made me forget about him and Went to see comedy gig too. :)

 

Hey Airlee! Yes I'm watching some comedy now before bed, they say a day without laughter is a day wasted.

 

Well in that case....

 

Lol!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!! Lmao!!!! Lls!!! Hehehehehehehe!

 

*wink*

[fabact]

Omg after my breakup I was a hot mess. No contact helped but since then have seen him at yoga and i will say I have a mini meltdown the day afterwards each time now I've stopped going to yoga. Try to not contact him so you can heal. Last thing I said after yoga last time was, "although the feelings weren't reciprocated or I wasn't what u were looking for, I am glad I felt something and felt what I felt while we were together. Some people go lifetimes without feeling those great feelings towards someone." try to look at it that way. It may help you move on.

 

Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk

[Lauren0020]

Omg after my breakup I was a hot mess. No contact helped but since then have seen him at yoga and i will say I have a mini meltdown the day afterwards each time now I've stopped going to yoga. Try to not contact him so you can heal. Last thing I said after yoga last time was, "although the feelings weren't reciprocated or I wasn't what u were looking for, I am glad I felt something and felt what I felt while we were together. Some people go lifetimes without feeling those great feelings towards someone." try to look at it that way. It may help you move on.

 

Sent from my LG-TP450 using Tapatalk

 

Thank You fabact! Did he say anything to you at yoga? I would still go but change locations. Yoga is really good therapy. Thank u for that advice/personal quote, very true. I will think about that. I still think of him. I'm 1 week and 4 days since break up and 5 days since I broke NC and havent heard a thing from him. He was a complete waste of time. Selfish bastard.

[Lauren0020]

Funny, I found him when I wasn't looking, so I expect the next guy I actually date more than once or twice will be the same situation again because those are actually the ones I've clicked the most with is the ones that just appear when not expected lol

 

Im glad your day wasn't bad! I hope each day gets easier for you.

 

Sweetgirl!! I almost had a slip. I'm telling myself if I call his job he'll answer and talk to me and we'll work things out. He's just waiting for me to reach out one more time. If I just get him on the line we'll be fine. He'll be remorseful. I dont know what to do

[SweetGirl28]

Sweetgirl!! I almost had a slip. I'm telling myself if I call his job he'll answer and talk to me and we'll work things out. He's just waiting for me to reach out one more time. If I just get him on the line we'll be fine. He'll be remorseful. I dont know what to do

 

Honey! Noooooooooooooooooo

Find your strength! I know you hurt, I know it's hard. You got this, girl! Write to him, then throw it away.

[Lauren0020]

Honey! Noooooooooooooooooo

Find your strength! I know you hurt, I know it's hard. You got this, girl! Write to him, then throw it away.

 

Ok, I didn't break NC. I'll write/journal tomorrow, I'm exhausted. Need some rest.

[SweetGirl28]

Ok, I didn't break NC. I'll write/journal tomorrow, I'm exhausted. Need some rest.

 

Sounds good! You can message me if you need to talk :) sleep well

[airlee]

Give yourself at least 3 weeks you'll be okay. Not completely recovered yet but after not hearing anything from him, it'll be easier than now. Nah, I don't think I would want us to have another chance. He's hurt me so bad! Plus those bad memories kept popping in my head, I guess reading them over and over again does help. As I mentioned on my previous post, I have so many questions and I know the answer would be no. Definitely, he will not change. Unless he will wake up one day and realized everything and asked for an apology and promise to correct his behavior but I doubt he will and even so, he's never gonna change. He's a flirter. He prioritize his friends and most of all he's too stubborn and too full of himself, he may be nice as a friend, cares and likes to help but that doesn't mean he's a nice bf. He's got an underlying temper which non of his friends know.

 

I can't be walking on an egg shell again, it's degrading! It's insulting! And will really hit my confidence. I feel like I don't have the freedom of speech. I should be able to express myself with whatever it is that makes me sad/upset but I can't otherwise he'll get angry, he won't understand. He doesn't know how to woo a woman.

 

You're right! I've heard from him. He came to help me fix my radiator and do some shelving at my flat. He came in with my stuff that I left at his. Strange, but I don't feel anything. I felt numb. He's at my place for 6 hrs and we talked as if we're friends (told him I didn't wanna be friends with him for now) but then I thought, I actually need a handyman and he offered so why not! Might as well used him (am I bad?) but my interaction with him was genuine! We were talking like normal. The tone of my voice is normal compared to 3 weeks ago. I thought I'll be sobbing and be emotional when I see him. But I don't know. I felt numb. We were so close when I was helping him putting the shelves, I could smell the soap that he used when taking shower, Strange but I didn't feel anything like wanting to hug him.

 

He hurt himself from screwing and I offered to put the bandage on as there blood stains all over my white wall, I could tell he was staring at me when I was putting it but didn't looked at him (this is like a scene in romcom) but I felt awkward in that moment. I should feel flattered but nope.

He accidentally elbow my face when we were putting the shelves, not too strong and he said "sorry honey" "honey is our endearment anyway, I know I shouldn't put meaning on it, it's just strange as I didn't feel anything. Have I moved on already? Part of me wanted us to get back together but I think most part of my being is saying no every time I thought about things he's done to me.

 

I think he's being friendly to me and I think reason why he would like to help it's because he felt bad that I got this place because of him.

 

As for your guy? Have you heard anything from him? If non, then good! It's good not to hear anything from him but I know what you feel. I've had that before. He just shows he doesn't care at all so please show the same. It's how he dealt with the situation.

 

Are you still hopeful to get back to him?

 

 

 

How is it going?

[Kimbles1215]

Noo please do not contact him! I did this with two of my previous exes and it made it worse! You feel good for a few minutes then realise it was a mistake especially if they don't answer you or never return your call. I'm going through a super bad breakup (5 days ago) and I recommended going on the forum its on the 'Healing after break up or divorce' thread. And its called 'Post here instead of contacting your ex!' its got about 2000 pages long dating from 2006 right up until present. I found it last night and I read through and your are NOT alone.

[Lauren0020]

Sounds good! You can message me if you need to talk :) sleep well

 

You're awesome, Thanks Girly!

[Lauren0020]

Give yourself at least 3 weeks you'll be okay. Not completely recovered yet but after not hearing anything from him, it'll be easier than now. Nah, I don't think I would want us to have another chance. He's hurt me so bad! Plus those bad memories kept popping in my head, I guess reading them over and over again does help. As I mentioned on my previous post, I have so many questions and I know the answer would be no. Definitely, he will not change. Unless he will wake up one day and realized everything and asked for an apology and promise to correct his behavior but I doubt he will and even so, he's never gonna change. He's a flirter. He prioritize his friends and most of all he's too stubborn and too full of himself, he may be nice as a friend, cares and likes to help but that doesn't mean he's a nice bf. He's got an underlying temper which non of his friends know.

 

I can't be walking on an egg shell again, it's degrading! It's insulting! And will really hit my confidence. I feel like I don't have the freedom of speech. I should be able to express myself with whatever it is that makes me sad/upset but I can't otherwise he'll get angry, he won't understand. He doesn't know how to woo a woman.

 

You're right! I've heard from him. He came to help me fix my radiator and do some shelving at my flat. He came in with my stuff that I left at his. Strange, but I don't feel anything. I felt numb. He's at my place for 6 hrs and we talked as if we're friends (told him I didn't wanna be friends with him for now) but then I thought, I actually need a handyman and he offered so why not! Might as well used him (am I bad?) but my interaction with him was genuine! We were talking like normal. The tone of my voice is normal compared to 3 weeks ago. I thought I'll be sobbing and be emotional when I see him. But I don't know. I felt numb. We were so close when I was helping him putting the shelves, I could smell the soap that he used when taking shower, Strange but I didn't feel anything like wanting to hug him.

 

He hurt himself from screwing and I offered to put the bandage on as there blood stains all over my white wall, I could tell he was staring at me when I was putting it but didn't looked at him (this is like a scene in romcom) but I felt awkward in that moment. I should feel flattered but nope.

He accidentally elbow my face when we were putting the shelves, not too strong and he said "sorry honey" "honey is our endearment anyway, I know I shouldn't put meaning on it, it's just strange as I didn't feel anything. Have I moved on already? Part of me wanted us to get back together but I think most part of my being is saying no every time I thought about things he's done to me.

 

I think he's being friendly to me and I think reason why he would like to help it's because he felt bad that I got this place because of him.

 

As for your guy? Have you heard anything from him? If non, then good! It's good not to hear anything from him but I know what you feel. I've had that before. He just shows he doesn't care at all so please show the same. It's how he dealt with the situation.

 

Are you still hopeful to get back to him?

 

Hey Airlee! He still has attraction to you and it seems you might deep down inside have one for him somewhere deep, or atleast care and that's ok if u do because you all shared something. Only you know how u truly truly feel. Just go with your heart, if it desires to give this space then do so, remain friends?! Then do so. I think if it as we only get 1 life do what your heart feels as long as you're happy! And no you're not bad for using him as a handyman, that's the least he can do since you did get the apartment, u know.

 

No I havent heard from my old sad sack of bones. I'm still hoping I hear from him although I shouldn't be worried about that. Truth is...I am. And each fight I am literally fighting to not contact him. I want to hear his voice. I just want to squash the beef, even if we don't work things out, I just want to know were at a peaceful place and we go out separate ways but knowing he doesn't hate me and we can atleast be cordial.