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Boyfriend compares me to other girls

ellen88

By ellen88
in Dating Advice

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ellen88 Rookie

ellen88

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After I got over that issue I had with his best friend (that i explained in my previous thread) everything was going great. I noticed that he kept talking to me about models and pornstars and other famous women that he liked (without me asking just out of the blue).

 

What I mean is that he would just go ahead and tell me that x has an amazing chest and y has an amazing butt. That made me feel so bad like I’m not enough for him and like he’s not attracted to me. After a couple of times of him doing it I talked to him about it. He told me he’s sorry and that it’s his first serious relationship (I’m 18 he’s 19) and that he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say and he’ll try his best and stop that.

 

Some time passed and then it started again. I thought that if I talked to him again nothing would change so I thought I’d give him an example so that he’d understand it more easily. I told him that my friend’s ex boyfriend told her about other girls and his response was “He sounds like an a**hole good for her for dumping him”. I told him that he tells me stuff like that as well and he said “It’s bad for her because she’s not that good-looking, but you look better than those girls so it shouldn’t bother you”. After telling him once again that it makes me feel bad about myself he said once again he’s not doing it on purpose and that he’ll stop.

 

I understand that he’s not experienced with relationships but I’m not either and not telling your partner about other people is just common sense to me. I also understand that a comparisson to some degree is bound to happen not just from him but from me as well, but I don’t want to know about that. It’s been a month or so and he hasn’t said anything but he told me today about some model he saw in an ad and his exact words were “I saw her in an ad downtown she was only wearing a bra and a thong”. I immediatly talked to him again.

 

To be honest I was more aggressive than the other times and he was as well. At first he told me “it slipped I didn’t say it on purpose” and in the end he told me that he’s not gonna sit here and listen to my “whinning” and “accusations” and to talk to him again when I’m done “whinning”.

 

He also told me that the boyfriend of one of his girl-friends tells her stuff like that as well and she doesn’t mind. I don’t know if I’m just insecure or if his behavior really is unacceptable but I think that if something bothers me then he should just stop doing it. I don’t think I’m asking for something crazy. I’m tired of feeling like I’m not good enough for him. What he’s doing is just making me insecure, paranoid and jealous of any girl that comes near him. We’ve been together for almost a year now and I hate feeling like he wants something else but he’s just stuck with me.

 

How should I handle the situation? What else should I do? Should i just get over it? I’m just thinking maybe he’s not doing something wrong and I’m just being insecure. I don’t want to break up with him for something like that.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted

It would be best to break up with him. He's being a jerk to you and you can date much nicer guys than this bozo.

12-25-2017

 

I asked him something about his girl best friend and one thing led to another and he was honest with me and told me he actually likes her appearance more than mine. To be exact he told me I’m an 8 and she’s a 9.

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rosephase Mentor

rosephase

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I don't say this often because it's rude... but your boyfriend sounds to dumb to be in a relationship. If he can't remember that graphically talking about other women's bodies is upsetting for you... he's simply to dumb to function in a relationship. You are not asking for a lot. To be fair most people aren't ready for long term relationships at 18/19.

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indea08 Mentor

indea08

Posted
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I've been in a situation so similar to this. I was a bit older though. The guy was super into movies and filming, ultimately wanted to go to school for it, etc. so we watched a lot of movies together. Most movies now days have female nudity, and he had a comment every single time. It eventually got to where I wouldn't watch movies with him. Then it continued in other areas, girls walking down the street, etc. It made me so insecure and I really thought I was just a crazy girlfriend and needed to relax.

 

I eventually ended the relationship, and have since had multiple relationships, and guess what?? NONE of them made me feel the way he did. I don't care anymore about nude scenes in movies, porn...none of it bothers me anymore. You know why?? Because I have a man who shows me everyday, with his actions and his words, that he absolutely adores me. Even if he thinks some actress is hot (currently Anna Kendrick), I don't care one bit because his heart and his life are with me.

 

Turns out, I wasn't the crazy girlfriend. That idiot was just beating down my self esteem. I'll cut your boyfriend some slack because he's only 19 and doesn't really understand dating yet....but don't let any guy take your self esteem from you. Your boyfriend needs a few years to grow up before he'll be ready for a girlfriend. And btw, telling someone that something bothers you FOR THE THIRD TIME is not whining, and he's an as$ for saying that. However, you've asked him several times to knock it off and he hasnt, so at some point, you become just as responsible as he is because you have the choice to walk away but have not done so.

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limichelle Mentor

limichelle

Posted
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I dated a guy like that for six months, difference was? The guy I dated is 36! He wouldn't even sleep with me because I didn't look like Jennifer Lawrence.

 

This guy you are with is like the guy I had dated. He's a little boy who needs to go to never never land.

 

Lisa

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