Dvand123 Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 First of all, I would just like to say thanks for taking your time to read and answer. I will keep everything simple and straight to the point. Last month I LIED to my boyfriend. It wasn't a huge lie. It has nothing to do with an infedilty, stealing or anything severe. Just a simple...'exaggeration' if you would. My boyfriend went on holiday and whilst he was there I fell ill. I was sent into hospital for 3 nights but came home after the third day and was told to rest. I was messaging him basically saying, I'm not well, been in hospital for 2 days and I feel absolutely AWFUL, my body is killing and I can't do much. The point is, I lied about how I TRULY felt. Yes I did leave hospital and I did feel sick, and was on heavy medication but I was capable of looking after myself just as long as I took it easy. I know!!!! I shouldn't have lied, and I'm selfish and extremely guilty. Please!!! I've made myself sick over it. My boyfriend is on the phone almost 7000 miles away saying he's coming home and he needs to be with me, I said no. Please don't I'll be okay. Again he wasn't listening to any of it and was panicking and basically booked a flight about 3 days after I told him. I felt absolutely AWFUL. I had lied to my boyfriend about my current state and he was coming home....all on the pretence of a lie. Typing this out makes me feel nothing but guilt, shame and complete embarassment. Please do not judge me. Whilst he was on his way home I was at home resting and because I was heavily medicated I was out of it. All I could do was sleep and sometimes eat. Yes I was sick but not sick enough for someone to cut their holiday 9 days short just to be by my side. My boyfriend got in touch with his mother and told her to check on me until he got home. I missed a couple of her calls as I didn't bother much with my phone and was asleep about 90% of the time. I even missed my boyfriend's call when he had arrived back home! When he did arrive back home he picked me up and took me back to his place. He said he would look after me until I felt well enough(we don't live together yet.) Fast forward now. My boyfriend came to the realisation that I exaggerated my state and he stated how he and his family felt let down by me and how I've upset them by just not being honest. And although he wasn't happy and we 'separated' temporary for 3 weeks. I decided I HAD to do something. I called my boyfriend and agreed to have a talk with him in person. He come to get me and whilst we were out I confessed how truly and utterly sorry I am. How I had lied and I had no reason to, and that I appreciate everything he has ever done for me. And how I'd do anything to prove just how sorry and remorseful I am. I even said to him,I would like to see your family especially your mother and give them an apology. He seemed extremely happy by this and said he automatically felt better. This was almost two weeks ago. In this space of time, I've apologised multiple times to him. He even called me up at the beginning of this week for a "date" we ended the night by booking a hotel. Even though our date went amazingly well, just like old times. I still felt like I had to address the issue once and for all, explain to him how sorry I am and how I'd do anything for a second chance. Again he said he was more than happy that I recognised my faults and that I was willing to apologise to his family too. He did say during our date the other night that "this is going to be like the first date all over again" and "let's take it slow" which I am more than happy to do. I am thankful that he's even considering working on things so I've decided not to rush anything. HOWEVER, my biggest fear is that during this "taking it slow" phase him and I take it too slow and fall out of love? I love this man more than life itself and he not only tells me he loves me, his actions whilst I was sick spoke volumes too! I know this man loves me; and if it really is true love between us then I have nothing to worry about. Him and I message each other daily and things seem like they're slowly getting there. I messaged him yesterday basically saying "I know we are taking it slow and I completely respect that. However I am scared you will turn around and say you can no longer do this." To which he replied: "please stop being so negative. I am genuinely trying to work on this and don't need to hear negative things like that." He told me repeatedly whilst we stopped speaking how he "misses me terribly" and "hates not speaking to me" Again I was happy with his response and respect his choice decision. All of this has happened within the space of a month, so our breakup is still quite "fresh" it wasn't even an official break up. Just us two not seeing another and hardly even speaking. Now, after we have discussed things. We've been on a date and things are looking better. My question is, do you think going slow is a good thing? I'm more than happy to as long as I know at the end I'll be guaranteed to have him back. Also my boyfriend hasn't mentioned his parents? I would like to see them to apologise. He hasn't brought them up? Do you think our relationship is fixable? I do. But I would just like some insights from others. I apologise for the length of this. I just wanted everyone to be well up to date with our situation so I could get some honest advice. Thank you very much. Link to comment
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