firelily Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I'm 29 and my goal for the next couple of years is to find inner happiness. I'm planning to do that by living a guy-free life, avoiding relationships that will pull my focus elsewhere. It will be hard but I feel like I really need this. I'm not the type of person who jumps from relationship to relationship or who wants to be with just anyone. I might be the opposite. But still "finding one true love" or "finding a soulmate" has been my life focus since I was 3 (a true fact). I've heard from many people that it's not a healthy focus but even now I disagree. I do value the special connection that you can have with another human more than anything else. Not just any relationship, but one that lets you peek into someone's soul and see their inner universe. This is the most beautiful experience in the world, not comparable to anything else and I will stand by it. I will never feel like I'm over that dream and I don't wanna be. However what I need even more is to be happy. Content, fulfilled, feeling good about myself and hopeful about future. I've been happy in love for years and I've even had a soulmate relationship that I've dreamed of. But if you take two depressed people and bring them closer, you still end up with unhappiness. And my other halves are usually just as tormented as I am. So I can only take care of myself and wish for their sake that they will take care of themselves. There's a lot of advice online how to be single. The idea behind it is if you concentrate on finding love, you won't find it; pretend that you're alright with being single, get in shape, feel more confident, and the love of your life will appear before you know it[/i]. But this is not what I'm looking for. I want to be single for ME, not to find a better match and not to make myself better for any future guy. I want to stay in this stay as long as possible, as long as I feel I'm not holding myself back in life by it. It's going to be very hard to learn that because I'm a very relationship-oriented person (like many women are) and my identity consists of other people. But I'm gonna try. For me. I hope I'll learn something on the way. [video=youtube;bMpFmHSgC4Q] ] Link to comment
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