Are women game playing sadists? I think so.....

[TheDoctor]

Hi, thanks for reading my post. I been a user here for a while but this is my first post in the finding love and soulmate forum.

 

Lemme first give you an insight on myself from the biased perspective of myself. I'm 21, I use to model when I was younger ( pretty boy), intelligent, caring, positive person. My story is simple yet very educational for those who are in the dating game especially for men. I have been single for a little over a year now. I started, dating about 1 month after I broke up with my ex. I have dated ( I actually counted for this post) 26 women in this past year ( KRIKEY! thats alot of estrogen). My results have been mixed but educational.

 

For the first few months I was dating 3 girls. I was oh so very innocent then, seems like a life time ago. My character at that time was the way I was sculpted by my sister, my ex gf, and most importantly my past experiences. I was very respectful to girls, very much so the kind of guy who naturally cared about girls, NOT soft, but definitley wanted to see the beauty in someone more than sex. I rejected sex about 2 times with a girl and it seemed like they didnt like it so they stopped talking to me.

 

A few months later I molded myself a little differentley so naturally my approach changed. I was the deep talking, almost psychiatrist like guy who had a good charm. This phase made every girl I met fall for me but they were all so scared of a relationship that they wanted to take things super slow. I didnt even approach it as a relationship but they were so scared they wanted to becareful.

 

A few months pass and I started dating this girl who I really like, she and I go out and she tells me she likes me so much. It seems like I finally found a good girl. She tells me how much she likes me and 1 day I turn around and tell her I like you alot too. Guess what? Right after that she played games with me cuz now she knew that I was infatuated with her and she stopped calling that weekend then called me back acting like nothing happened. I acted casual I dont jump to conclusions, then she tells me she just sees me and her as dating no potential for a relationship, then the next day she says she can see us as a couple. It didnt make sense, even worst I didnt even ask her if she saw us as anything, basically playing games.

 

As of today, Im dating a girl who is the closest thing Ive had to a relationship since my ex. But I see no future with her, she goes to clubs ALOT, and 1 day she acts like she lieks me alot then she wont call for 2 days I dunno, Im not doing this anymore. Can some of you ladies please tell me whats going on here? Im the kinda person every guy and their brother asks me for advice about girls. I always get alot of girls but I know love works in mysterious ways. Im not forcing it to happen but its just odd it hasnt already taken its course in 1 year.....can some of you old timers gimme some needed advice here? Thanks

[Krystyl]

Ummm...you're dating young women who aren't ready for commitment and aren't quite mature? That's the best I can do. There are plenty of good girls out there...ones who are ready to love you for who you are and settle into a committed relationship....you just have to go through a lot of lemons before you find the right one. Don't give up....you are young. You will find Miss Right someday.

 

I don't know what to tell you about the game playing....some girls are just like that. The more mature and real they are...the less games.

[apollocreed71]

Not to be disrespectful, but look at who the women are with pretty boys, or abusers. If you are the good looking guy, jut have fun, and you will meet someone one day. Probably when you ae a little, just remember to respect other mens relationships with women.

[HeavenLee]

Hmmmm okay, I'm not sure if you were trying to get a response from your title... so I'm going to be very honest and let you know what I think.

 

When I read your post initially, I found it a little arrogant and a bit egotistical - sort of like you expect these girls to fall madly in love with you. This may have something to do with the things that are happening. You may not mean it, but it may be coming accross to some of the women this way. I may be wrong, but that's just the impression I got from your post. I also got the feeling (and I may be wrong again) that you put yourself above these women and feel that all of your moves are right. It could also be an immaturity thing, but I would suggest that it may come a bit from both sides.

 

Please don't think I'm trying to criticise you, I'm just offering constructive criticism. It may be the type of girl you are going for, but not all girls are like that, so it may also be helpful to look at your own approach.

[TheDoctor]

No im sorry I didnt mean to come off stuck up , I just wanted the reader to know its not a looks thing or inexperience thing. Ive had 2 relationships one for 2 years the other for a year. I dont put myself above the girls, infact I stated that i was a total sweetheart and I still am but I just dont put the work I use to. i dont expect girls to love me but the ones i put effort into and they put it back i dont get why it turns into a game eventually....women r just like that

[HeavenLee]

Okay I'm sorry too, it's just that the written word can sometimes be misconstrued and I thought I might offer some advice that may help you.

 

Honestly, not all women are like this. If we were to generalise I could say that if some women were like this, it could be because they have been burnt by some guy who was a player or treated them badly. But, not all men are like this either, although sometimes it may feel like it.

 

In the dating game, you win some and you lose some. Who knows why it happens... maybe it is to teach you some valuable lessons for when you do find your Mrs Right. All it really means is that you haven't yet come accross the woman who is right for you just yet. Don't let it sour you or give you a negative attitude towards dating and women... you are young and will have many more opportunities. And when the "one" does come knocking at your door, you will appreciate her so much more because she doesn't play games with you or mess you around.

 

I am a woman who, like you, has been messed around plenty by men. But I keep the hope that not all men are like that. So please believe that not all women are like the ones you have experienced. There are plenty of us who are looking for our soulmate too, and who we want to give our all to and not waste time playing silly games.

 

I hope you find her soon...

[sonjam]

The impression I got from your posts, was that you are acutally what you imply girls do in your post title. If you are serious about girls, you have to be your true self, you can't "model" your approach like you have been doing, to see what kind of girls you can catch in your snare.

 

you can't be this type and that type, and then see how they react. If you play games, expect to be played with.

[Day_Walker]

Its important to find out what approach works best for you. There are all kinds of women out there, first of all decide what it is that you are looking for at the moment. If you already know what you want then you have a leg up in the situation. As long as you keep in mind what you want, you are better able to discern if a particular female has the potential to meet those needs. I wouldnt allow yourself to become jaded over the way the females you meet seem to act, like I said there are different types of girls out there but it is a process so take your time and have fun being single, whatever that means to you.

[RayKay]

I think you need to look more at the women you are going for or starting things with. Sure there are some immature girls/women who will play games and aren't interested in commitment or anything other than hooking up, but there are also many women out there who are serious about the relationships they get into and their commitment level.

 

You cannot expect every woman to fall for you that you go for - it that was the case love would be easy and there would be no such thing as therapists, breakups, divorce and other relationship frustrations. As was said above, you win some, you lose some. Ideally what happens is you win one big one....and then it really does not matter anymore how many you lost

 

Just be patient, be YOURSELF, date, meet people and don't worry about rushing into something. When the right person comes along it will all fall into place naturally.

[TheDoctor]

Damn good advice raykay, and all of you I appreciate it. Its just every woman Ive dated it seems they are alllll into hardcore games. All my friends say the same thing, I assume its just the age, the crave for attention.

[Mix Maxster]

or the need to rule out the best of the best. You can't put up with their shyt? you fail. don't know how to handle yourself around them? you fail. The only way they can be certain they have a good catch is to play these dumb games, learn the rules before you whine about losing.

[TheDoctor]

Yeah but the right kinda girl wont keep playin games, theyll over look that. I know Ive been in 2 relationships and both of the games were minimal and stopped early on. Its true if you dont break you win but what do you win at the end? A game playing girl, it doesnt stop dont be a fool to think it does.

[Mix Maxster]

LOL he's right, it NEVER does... it goes on for as long as you're with the girl. the sucky thing is that it's like that with every girl, even the ones that say they don't play games... they do.

[TheDoctor]

haha mix master and I love the fact that the girls that play the most games go out of their way to say," I hate games." Always remember thats like the obvious way of a girl saying I play so much of them Im getting tired of it. Also, have you noticed how much women supposedly hate on eachother and say," All girls are stupid" I dunno maybe its the party scene im going to. But im not looking for any1 from there. But you raised a good point that got me thinking, I know if you dont break from a girls game theyll love you so much for it but the sad part is the entire relationship becomes 1 big opportunity for games . Ive dated a girl like that who kinda played games, I kept my cool, she then broke and we went out she talked to me like she was inlove. Then eventually she tried to find more weaknesses and exploit it, I would tell her I hate routine changes where you see eachother all the time and then u just stop and she did just that. I had enough and left. True love takes space...good positive space.

[ShySoul]

Your having bad luck and meeting all the immature girls. I know, there are way to many of them and a great number of game playing immature guys as well. But there not all like that. Many girls really don't want games and will appreciate those who don't play them. And even the ones who do will eventually wake up and stop.

[Mix Maxster]

Well I'm yet to see that happen and I know a wide source of girls. I have about 10 friends who are girls and meet girls constantly as a DJ and I haven't come accross a girl who hasn't played them. They also test you all the time, to see how you handle yourself and if you can stand up to their tests.

 

The great thing about having multiple girlfriends in a lifetime is that you get to learn the games and crap they pull and I DON'T mean this for guys to start hating on women by ANY MEANS. Simply, remember that a lot of women get a lot of crap happen to them so they have to be able to size guys up FAST. Even the nice ones lose, but it isn't about being nice that finishes last. When they do their games and tests, its their way of picking out their man otherwise she won't want anything to do with him.

 

Learn the game, don't hate it. Otherwise, you won't win. and we all know what winners get

[ShySoul]

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

 

Learn to recognize games and tests and don't stand for them. And don't play games yourself. Be honest and straightforward. If the girl is going to make you go through all these tests, she's not worth it. You want someone who will respect you for you and not have to test how you handle things. Just carry on as normal and you'll learn more about a person then you would think. You'll see how they react to situations. Playing games or testing someone is just creating unnecssary drama that is more likely to hurt things then to help them.

[Mix Maxster]

See that's the thing though, it's pretty much impossible. The games may not be as big and they may not do them as much, but that's after they realize they gotta lower their shields or else they'll be blocking out good guys. The thing is that girls get hit on by every type of guy out there, even when girls aren't looking their best they'll still get hit on. If you get hit on (especially when you're attractive) multiple times a day, what would you do? How would you separate these guys from the real men?

 

Sure you shouldn't deal with these tests and have to go through them, but think about why they do them in the first place.

[TheDoctor]

Exactly, not being too attatched and not askin for reassurance from a woman has gotten me so far.

[Napoleon Bonaparte]

Hey doc

She is playing games with you to make you want her more. It's a form of control. She is threatened by commitment. As much as immature girls like to commit to the guy once they know it's someone they love -- they are slow to figure out who they love. Play games back. Don't be so available. In the long run it is for her own good if you are a good guy. Don't act like she is the only one out there. Make her love you by not being so loving. It's basic supply and demand. People want what isn't readily available the best. Once she loves you, you can be how you wwant.