Thoughts, Rants, and Musings

[maritalbliss86]

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

It was so refreshing to watch people listen to each other and learn how to understand each other. And it's nice to see a skilled therapist at work. Sometimes when I browse through this site I literally wince at the thoughtless, careless judgments that people make about other people.

I think it's almost impossible to really understand what someone coming here is needing help for - without that other spouse's input and being able to see correctly what really is going on behind a screen.  They present only their side of an issue, so who knows what is really going on.  Sometimes I've wondered if an OP is just a college student doing a psyche study....  I know I've been guilty of judging one side without all the info, but we can only go on what info is provided.

I find it frustrating personally... because as soon as I think I understand the issue, they bring up more info and it all changes to something else 🤯 and my opinion changes as well.

And then we all suggest counseling (because it really is just beyond what anyone here could really help with) and you can usually tell the OP has no intention of really working it out in counseling with their spouse 🙄.  I think a lot of people don't use this as counseling, they rather use it to vent and complain, which is fine... it's nice to get outside opinions, even if they are off.  But I'm not sure if the help they get here translates to real, lasting change, maybe sometimes, but certainly not in the marriage-counseling type of way.

[mylolita]

All the best Jib! And enjoy the drive! 
 

Any family resemblances, please report! 
 

x

[Jibralta]

21 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

I think it's almost impossible to really understand what someone coming here is needing help for - without that other spouse's input and being able to see correctly what really is going on behind a screen.  They present only their side of an issue, so who knows what is really going on.  Sometimes I've wondered if an OP is just a college student doing a psyche study....  I know I've been guilty of judging one side without all the info, but we can only go on what info is provided.

I find it frustrating personally... because as soon as I think I understand the issue, they bring up more info and it all changes to something else 🤯 and my opinion changes as well.

And then we all suggest counseling (because it really is just beyond what anyone here could really help with) and you can usually tell the OP has no intention of really working it out in counseling with their spouse 🙄.  I think a lot of people don't use this as counseling, they rather use it to vent and complain, which is fine... it's nice to get outside opinions, even if they are off.  But I'm not sure if the help they get here translates to real, lasting change, maybe sometimes, but certainly not in the marriage-counseling type of way.

Of course. But understanding and agreement aren't prerequisites for compassion and respect. 

[Jibralta]

I had a really nice night out with the girls last night. It's the first time in YEARS that everybody could make it out. I even planned my visit to Texas so that it did not interfere with our plans! I let them know that, too. In the group chat, my (our) friend Lisa replied, "Now nobody has an excuse to cancel!"

I'm sure she was directing this mainly at our friend Sarah, who cancels regularly, and possibly at Rachel, who hasn't shown up AT ALL in four years lol. Lisa is frustrated with Sarah. Not so much with Rachel.

Sure enough at the last minute, Sarah started to back out. Her daughter had a softball game. She would try to come out afterwards with her daughter in tow. Honestly, I understood. Sarah has five kids and her husband is a jerk. I can cut the girl some slack. 

When I got to the restaurant, Lisa, Rachel, and Cassandra were at the bar, flirting with the bartender. Lisa asked me if Hanna was still coming. I said I thought so. 

A couple of hours before we all got together, Hanna had texted that her ankle was swollen and asked what it could be. This launched a flurry of diagnoses from the other girls and one suggestion that she should go to an urgent care center. Since then, Lisa tried to reach Hanna. But Hanna didn't respond to any texts and Lisa's calls went to voicemail. Lisa decided that Hanna must have gone to the hospital. 

It definitely occurred to me that Hanna's phone may have been on Do Not Disturb as she was driving to meet us. But for some reason, those words never made it to my mouth. Instead, I watched helplessly with question marks in my mind as Lisa cancelled our reservation for six and got us a table for five. I think I understood on some level that the real motivating factor there was that Lisa wanted our bartender to continue to be our waiter. She really liked him. It wasn't sexual at all--he was gay. They just sort of bonded. Rachel bonded with him, too. Just not as much.

ANYWAY, Hanna's phone WAS on Do Not Disturb and she showed up not long after. The five of us were directed to a tiny booth. I pulled up a chair to sit at the end of the table because damn. The service was slow and terrible, the food mediocre, but we got to keep our bartender, we were together, and everyone was yapping up a storm. About 40 minutes later, Sarah texted to say that she was on her way--with two daughters! 

We needed a new table. And of course we needed to keep our bartender. So, in another flurry of chaos, we got the job done. The dinner lasted four freaking hours. At the end of the night, Sarah's girls took photos of our group, the littlest girl at just the right height to capture our double chins. All of the photos turned out really bad because kids don't care what their moms look like. In fact, the worse they look, the better. The littlest girl was having a ball, giggling up a storm. Her mischievous spirit was infectious (at least to me).

Lisa finally took some group selfies, one of which both daughters photobombed. That photo has the best depth and atmosphere of them all. You can just make out the daughters at the back of our group, just slightly distinct from the background, the little one with an open-mouthed scream and heavy metal hand sign. 😂

[maritalbliss86]

That's awesome Jibralta ❤️  Soooo cute about the daughters photobombing and taking pictures, etc.

There's a homeschool mom group at this new area that has brought me into their circle, and they are wild and fun women - which is hard to find in this area... people who are Christians but also actually have fun lol.  

They invited me to a girls night out a few weeks ago at a restaurant and I haven't had so much fun with other ladies in a long time.  We laughed so much and it was a great break from the kids and school-life, etc.  Sad that Sarah's husband is a jerk 😕 women really need to get out together, have fun etc.

[maritalbliss86]

16 hours ago, Jibralta said:

The littlest girl was having a ball, giggling up a storm. Her mischievous spirit was infectious (at least to me).

That sounds exactly like our daughter ❤️ she is mischievous and SO adorable!

[Jibralta]

 

[Jibralta]

It just occurred to me that there are different types of cool people. There are people who everyone says are cool--"cool kids," etc. And then there are people that are just cool. Actually cool. Everyone thinks so without having to be told.

[mylolita]

6 hours ago, Jibralta said:

It just occurred to me that there are different types of cool people. There are people who everyone says are cool--"cool kids," etc. And then there are people that are just cool. Actually cool. Everyone thinks so without having to be told.

If you try to be cool, that is so uncool. You can’t “become” cool, either. People who are cool, are born cool, right outta the womb! 
 

Someone who is cool, would never say it but, they’ll know it. They just are. 
 

Isn’t it strange that it is so hard to define what “being cool” is but, everyone knows it the instant they see it?!

 

x

[Batya33]

39 minutes ago, mylolita said:

If you try to be cool, that is so uncool. You can’t “become” cool, either. People who are cool, are born cool, right outta the womb! 
 

Someone who is cool, would never say it but, they’ll know it. They just are. 
 

Isn’t it strange that it is so hard to define what “being cool” is but, everyone knows it the instant they see it?!

 

x

What's also strange is the emphasis certain people place on "cool" and the equal emphasis on the silly label "nerd".  I much prefer genuine to "cool".  A person who is cool can be genuine too of course but my focus is on meeting genuine people.  If they're cool too.... cool!

[mylolita]

6 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

What's also strange is the emphasis certain people place on "cool" and the equal emphasis on the silly label "nerd".  I much prefer genuine to "cool".  A person who is cool can be genuine too of course but my focus is on meeting genuine people.  If they're cool too.... cool!

True! 
 

Everyone seems to be in search of a real connection. It’s so rare. And for someone to be honest, even half of the time, is a small miracle! Most people can’t even be honest with themselves, myself included!

 

To be authentic, to live, authentically, and to be so truly comfortable with who you are, in your own skin, embracing all the good and yes, all the bad? Tough. But again, magnetic to other people. If you can own yourself, and your own thoughts and passions and principles, I think Batya, we both agree, is a person worth knowing! 
 

Nerdy, cool, stylish, reserved, mischievous or plain. If someone is truly themselves, they command some kind of respect and appreciation and admiration. I think we worship people like that a little. It’s the holy grail so many of us are after. We want to understand ourselves to have command of ourselves. People are not one dimensional! And people are never 100% good or 100% bad. 

I always turn to an Oscar Wilde quote regarding this! 
 

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious!”

Some people are just cool though. They would be at home fronting a rock band or standing up on a stage addressing an audience and having them hang on every word. People tend to copy them. They set trends in appearance and thinking.

 

When I was 17 I wanted to be Winona Ryder or Jane Eyre! Ha! 

 

x

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, mylolita said:

“It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious!”

LOL!  True!  I like the old saying about "just walk beside me and be my friend" -I don't need people copying me and I don't want to set a trend (although secretly I would like to set the trend of moms using kitchen garbage bags to cover an infant car seat checked at an airport instead of wasting $$ on those silly car seat covers so each time the question is asked on my huge local mom group on Facebook I advocate strongly for garbage bags!). 

I had a ton of media attention for a couple of days when I was about to turn 15 (for a really good reason!).  I adored being in the spotlight.  I was awe struck.  I enjoy public speaking and was able to do it for the first time in years at a large event for my son.  I've been around celebrities, had real conversations with them, addressed audiences including celebrities, etc. 

But these days - 40 years later or so - I don't crave attention like that, don't relate at all to the people who post photos of themselves on facebook for the adoration of their new haircut or whatever.  One of my dear friends died of cancer a few months ago.  People including me were drawn to her like flies. Was she cool? Yes she was.  But they were drawn (and this was mentioned again and again at her recent zoom memorial service) was because she kept it real. 

She was the queen of accessories -really fun ones, she was spunky, flamboyant, and not attractive in the "traditional sense" -more like Barbra Streisand - but she was my friend, mentor, boss for awhile and my son's first babysitter. Had she been a trend setter on purpose or wanted that (she didn't) I doubt we'd have been as close - or that I'd trusted her with my baby son or my career. 

People didn't want to copy her, they wanted to be around her because they felt heard.  A person who seeks to set trends, who enjoys when people copy them likely doesn't stop long enough to make sure people feel heard and comfortable in their own skin around them. I miss her. I reconnected with her daughter who is in her 30s so we can reminisce about her and so I can try to be there for her as her baby grows.  Thanks for listening.    

[Seraphim]

Did you get to meet your family Jib? I am so sorry about your mom. Hugs . 

[mylolita]

On 7/21/2022 at 12:21 PM, Batya33 said:

LOL!  True!  I like the old saying about "just walk beside me and be my friend" -I don't need people copying me and I don't want to set a trend (although secretly I would like to set the trend of moms using kitchen garbage bags to cover an infant car seat checked at an airport instead of wasting $$ on those silly car seat covers so each time the question is asked on my huge local mom group on Facebook I advocate strongly for garbage bags!). 

I had a ton of media attention for a couple of days when I was about to turn 15 (for a really good reason!).  I adored being in the spotlight.  I was awe struck.  I enjoy public speaking and was able to do it for the first time in years at a large event for my son.  I've been around celebrities, had real conversations with them, addressed audiences including celebrities, etc. 

But these days - 40 years later or so - I don't crave attention like that, don't relate at all to the people who post photos of themselves on facebook for the adoration of their new haircut or whatever.  One of my dear friends died of cancer a few months ago.  People including me were drawn to her like flies. Was she cool? Yes she was.  But they were drawn (and this was mentioned again and again at her recent zoom memorial service) was because she kept it real. 

She was the queen of accessories -really fun ones, she was spunky, flamboyant, and not attractive in the "traditional sense" -more like Barbra Streisand - but she was my friend, mentor, boss for awhile and my son's first babysitter. Had she been a trend setter on purpose or wanted that (she didn't) I doubt we'd have been as close - or that I'd trusted her with my baby son or my career. 

People didn't want to copy her, they wanted to be around her because they felt heard.  A person who seeks to set trends, who enjoys when people copy them likely doesn't stop long enough to make sure people feel heard and comfortable in their own skin around them. I miss her. I reconnected with her daughter who is in her 30s so we can reminisce about her and so I can try to be there for her as her baby grows.  Thanks for listening.    

It’s really so lovely what you said about your friend Batya - you did her a great service. 
 

Can I ask, you don’t have to answer, but are you Jewish by any chance? I get that impression! No need to answer if you don’t want too.

 

And yes! I don’t get the selfish culture, the posting pictures constantly on social media. I opted out of it when MySpace died, I was about 19. I just grew out of it. Some of my friends would have instagrams for their houses, their interiors. I always thought it was… tacky? It just seemed low end. I don’t know. I’m not a snob at all, but putting yourself and your life out there in the shiny light you want everyone to see seemed to have no class! 
 

Cultures and trends keep changing and I have just got into, I am finding, the last two years, since turning 30, I have no idea for the first time about sub and micro trends, and youth culture, and what is in and what is trending and what is cute and what is not. It used to be on my radar but I have let it slip. It’s an age and time thing, your priorities shift I guess. I will always be into fashion, interiors, cars - art and reading. But I’m not around a group of girls anymore, and I find myself reducing my influences and getting into my own zone more as I get older.

 

x

[reinventmyself]

On 7/21/2022 at 9:37 AM, Seraphim said:

Did you get to meet your family Jib? I am so sorry about your mom. Hugs . 

Was wondering the same.   So sorry about your Mom as well ❤️  

[Jibralta]

On 7/25/2022 at 12:40 PM, reinventmyself said:

On 7/21/2022 at 12:37 PM, Seraphim said:

Did you get to meet your family Jib? I am so sorry about your mom. Hugs . 

Was wondering the same.   So sorry about your Mom as well ❤️  

I just got back this morning. What a powerful experience! I hope to be able to write about it sometime soon. Right now, I am still processing. It will probably come out in fits and starts!

[Seraphim]

44 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I just got back this morning. What a powerful experience! I hope to be able to write about it sometime soon. Right now, I am still processing. It will probably come out in fits and starts!

I hope it was a good experience. Can’t wait to read about it. 

[Batya33]

15 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I hope it was a good experience. Can’t wait to read about it. 

Same and also so sorry about your mother!

[Jibralta]

I had a dream about my biological father on Tuesday night, when I returned from my trip. We were running from him, me and this girl who wanted desperately to be with him. I tried to keep her away from him, but she ran right out to him when he drew near.

Then it was just me and another person, I think a girl, who reminded me a lot of my newish, simple friend Hannah. She and I hid from them both, laid low. Things seemed particularly dangerous, now. 

At some point, we separated. I made my way to a library that was already within the building we were in. It was like a school. Some people in the hallway were ushering me along. 

The library had large, plate glass windows that served as partitions between it and the hallway. I sat in a chair by the front window and started to regroup. Suddenly, my biological father was standing on the other side of the glass.

When I first saw him, I wanted to run. I knew he was dangerous. He looked dangerous. He looked very angry. I thought, "Oh sht." I wanted to run, but there was no where to run to anymore. He had all of these bags with him. Excessively large backpacks, most as tall as he was (and he is a tall man by all accounts).

He was staring at me through the glass. Scowling, really. He hurled one of the bags at me. He did so unwillingly, like someone forced him to. It was a backpack like the others, mostly maroon with some yellow accents. Almost as tall as I was, but not quite. Bifurcated down the center in a weird way. I caught it when he threw it. It wasn't very heavy. 

I looked at the bag and looked at his menacing form in the hallway. I thought, "This is ridiculous." I marched out of the library to tell him off. I didn't care how big and tall and angry he was. I'd kick his ass.

But when I stood in front of him I realized it would be better to make make peace. I wasn't scared; I just thought it would be better not to make an ugly situation uglier. I handed him his giant bag back. We don't have to be enemies, I said. Here's your bag back. I have no use for this. 

I told Arnold about the dream later that morning. He said, "He handed you baggage! And you handed it back."

[mylolita]

8 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I had a dream about my biological father on Tuesday night, when I returned from my trip. We were running from him, me and this girl who wanted desperately to be with him. I tried to keep her away from him, but she ran right out to him when he drew near.

Then it was just me and another person, I think a girl, who reminded me a lot of my newish, simple friend Hannah. She and I hid from them both, laid low. Things seemed particularly dangerous, now. 

At some point, we separated. I made my way to a library that was already within the building we were in. It was like a school. Some people in the hallway were ushering me along. 

The library had large, plate glass windows that served as partitions between it and the hallway. I sat in a chair by the front window and started to regroup. Suddenly, my biological father was standing on the other side of the glass.

When I first saw him, I wanted to run. I knew he was dangerous. He looked dangerous. He looked very angry. I thought, "Oh sht." I wanted to run, but there was no where to run to anymore. He had all of these bags with him. Excessively large backpacks, most as tall as he was (and he is a tall man by all accounts).

He was staring at me through the glass. Scowling, really. He hurled one of the bags at me. He did so unwillingly, like someone forced him to. It was a backpack like the others, mostly maroon with some yellow accents. Almost as tall as I was, but not quite. Bifurcated down the center in a weird way. I caught it when he threw it. It wasn't very heavy. 

I looked at the bag and looked at his menacing form in the hallway. I thought, "This is ridiculous." I marched out of the library to tell him off. I didn't care how big and tall and angry he was. I'd kick his ass.

But when I stood in front of him I realized it would be better to make make peace. I wasn't scared; I just thought it would be better not to make an ugly situation uglier. I handed him his giant bag back. We don't have to be enemies, I said. Here's your bag back. I have no use for this. 

I told Arnold about the dream later that morning. He said, "He handed you baggage! And you handed it back."

Absolutely EXCELLENT interpretation by Freud Arnold! 
 

x

[Jibralta]

The day before I left for my trip to Texas, I went to my boss, Nadine's, office for some now-forgotten reason. She shares an office with the company's co-owner, Sandra. Both of them were there in the office.

After I dropped off whatever drawings I had, Nadine stopped me and reached for a neatly-wrapped and ribboned white package that sat on the counter along their window wall. Sandra turned her chair around to face me. They were both smiling.

I was slightly perplexed, but I realized almost immediately that they were giving me a gift for my journey. I couldn't imagine what it would be, and in my curiosity I started to open the gift without reading the card! I was a little embarrassed when Nadine said, "Open the card first."  

The message read, 

Jibralta,

We wanted to wish you luck as you head to Texas to meet your birth family. It must be exciting and stressful on so many levels.

We thought this might be something fun to share with family members when you get there.

Sending you best wishes for a safe and satisfying trip!

Nadine and Sandra

Inside the wrapped box was a canvas photo album with my face on the cover. I looked up at Nadine and Sandra quizzically and they gestured for me to have a look inside.

The first page was a brief bio & photo of me from the company website. The second and third pages contained my resume. The fourth page was a list of all of the projects that I've worked on throughout my career. There may have been a fifth informational page. The pages after this frontmatter contained drawings and photographs of every project that I've touched since starting there.

It was so touching. I almost cried. So did Arnold, when I brought it home and showed it to him. Nonetheless, I almost didn't take it with me. I had two small carry-on bags that were packed to the gills and a crazy itinerary with lots of travel (and packing and unpacking) after I got to Texas. I didn't think there would be room, and I didn't want to add to what I already had to manage. Plus, I was slightly mortified at the thought of opening an album with my face broadly splashed across the cover and making newfound family members suffer through a narration of my recent career.

"You have to take it," said Arnold. I realized he was right. What other chance would I have to show them this? Maybe none. I found that it slid in easily into my backpack, next to my laptop.

I remembered it after I arrived at my Aunt Darlene's house. I said to her, "My bosses made me an album to show everyone here. My face is on the cover. It's a little embarrassing. But I would love it if, later on, I could show it to you and we could take a picture with it and send it back to them." And we did that. As it turned out, Darlene had TONS of photo albums to share with me, so my one measly album was the-more-the-merrier. I told Darlene about the projects as we paged through, we snapped a photo with the cover (and my headshot!) partially in the frame, and the deed was done.

A couple days later, I showed the album to my biological mom, Ellen. Her reaction was totally different. Darlene hadn't been disinterested or dismissive or anything like that by any stretch of the imagination. But Ellen was absorbed.

She sat in her wheelchair and I was kicking back in her hospital bed, with a view over her shoulder. She stopped on the very first page and actually read it. Then she stopped on the second and third page and actually read my dry-ass, densely packed, boring-ass resume. She absorbed the whole album. She poured over the thing. 

For that little while, it seemed like there was nothing else on earth for her but this album. And from my slightly recessed vantage point I realized that this album was really for Ellen. I realized that Nadine and Sandra probably had this outcome in mind when they came up with the idea for the album. Knowing them, they didn't bank on it, but simply allowed and provided for the possibility that something like this might happen. That started to bring the tears back up.

"Would you like to keep it?" I asked Ellen.

"Oh yes," She said.

Later that night, I talked to my Aunt Darlene on the phone. I told her I'd given Ellen the album. She said, "You gave it to her? Why?"

"It was for her. They made it for her," I said. She didn't seem to understand. "I didn't know it was meant for her," I explained. "I didn't expect to give it to her. But when I saw her looking at it, I realized why they made it for me."

What an amazing gift.

[Jibralta]

On 4/6/2022 at 5:21 AM, Jibralta said:

I'm about halfway through this book now. It's ok. Very similar to the others in terms of plot and theme. She kind of writes the same story over and over again, to be honest. But these books are mainly about the research that she's done on prehistoric times. The story is merely a delivery device. Sort of like how a cigarette is a delivery device for nicotine (as they say in The Insider--great movie BTW. One of my favorites).

I found this interview with Jean Auel and watched the whole thing. You can tell she has an encyclopedic mind. The woman can't help herself--she must research!! And she's done pretty well with it. Sold millions of books and has forged friendships with archeologists and museum curators in the process. Good for her! Following her dream paid off!

I finished The Shelters of Stone a couple of days before I went to Texas. I didn't want to bring both it and its sequel on the trip with me, so I powered through. The next (and last!) book is called The Land of Painted Caves. Arnold calls the whole six-book series Caves of Boredom. LOL. He's not wrong.

I started Caves of Boredom 6 before I went to Texas. I got a chapter or two in. But instead of packing it for my trip, I packed Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel instead. I've been dying to dig into this book and finally took my chance. It's really good!

I dread returning to Caves of Boredom. Arnold doesn't understand why I don't just give up on it altogether. His philosophy is that if he pays for a movie and doesn't like it, he stops watching the movie. That way, he doesn't lose the money and the time. Once again, he's not wrong....

[mylolita]

20 hours ago, Jibralta said:

The day before I left for my trip to Texas, I went to my boss, Nadine's, office for some now-forgotten reason. She shares an office with the company's co-owner, Sandra. Both of them were there in the office.

After I dropped off whatever drawings I had, Nadine stopped me and reached for a neatly-wrapped and ribboned white package that sat on the counter along their window wall. Sandra turned her chair around to face me. They were both smiling.

I was slightly perplexed, but I realized almost immediately that they were giving me a gift for my journey. I couldn't imagine what it would be, and in my curiosity I started to open the gift without reading the card! I was a little embarrassed when Nadine said, "Open the card first."  

The message read, 

Jibralta,

We wanted to wish you luck as you head to Texas to meet your birth family. It must be exciting and stressful on so many levels.

We thought this might be something fun to share with family members when you get there.

Sending you best wishes for a safe and satisfying trip!

Nadine and Sandra

Inside the wrapped box was a canvas photo album with my face on the cover. I looked up at Nadine and Sandra quizzically and they gestured for me to have a look inside.

The first page was a brief bio & photo of me from the company website. The second and third pages contained my resume. The fourth page was a list of all of the projects that I've worked on throughout my career. There may have been a fifth informational page. The pages after this frontmatter contained drawings and photographs of every project that I've touched since starting there.

It was so touching. I almost cried. So did Arnold, when I brought it home and showed it to him. Nonetheless, I almost didn't take it with me. I had two small carry-on bags that were packed to the gills and a crazy itinerary with lots of travel (and packing and unpacking) after I got to Texas. I didn't think there would be room, and I didn't want to add to what I already had to manage. Plus, I was slightly mortified at the thought of opening an album with my face broadly splashed across the cover and making newfound family members suffer through a narration of my recent career.

"You have to take it," said Arnold. I realized he was right. What other chance would I have to show them this? Maybe none. I found that it slid in easily into my backpack, next to my laptop.

I remembered it after I arrived at my Aunt Darlene's house. I said to her, "My bosses made me an album to show everyone here. My face is on the cover. It's a little embarrassing. But I would love it if, later on, I could show it to you and we could take a picture with it and send it back to them." And we did that. As it turned out, Darlene had TONS of photo albums to share with me, so my one measly album was the-more-the-merrier. I told Darlene about the projects as we paged through, we snapped a photo with the cover (and my headshot!) partially in the frame, and the deed was done.

A couple days later, I showed the album to my biological mom, Ellen. Her reaction was totally different. Darlene hadn't been disinterested or dismissive or anything like that by any stretch of the imagination. But Ellen was absorbed.

She sat in her wheelchair and I was kicking back in her hospital bed, with a view over her shoulder. She stopped on the very first page and actually read it. Then she stopped on the second and third page and actually read my dry-ass, densely packed, boring-ass resume. She absorbed the whole album. She poured over the thing. 

For that little while, it seemed like there was nothing else on earth for her but this album. And from my slightly recessed vantage point I realized that this album was really for Ellen. I realized that Nadine and Sandra probably had this outcome in mind when they came up with the idea for the album. Knowing them, they didn't bank on it, but simply allowed and provided for the possibility that something like this might happen. That started to bring the tears back up.

"Would you like to keep it?" I asked Ellen.

"Oh yes," She said.

Later that night, I talked to my Aunt Darlene on the phone. I told her I'd given Ellen the album. She said, "You gave it to her? Why?"

"It was for her. They made it for her," I said. She didn't seem to understand. "I didn't know it was meant for her," I explained. "I didn't expect to give it to her. But when I saw her looking at it, I realized why they made it for me."

What an amazing gift.

You are very well loved and well thought of Jib. You really are! 
 

x

[Jibralta]

12 minutes ago, mylolita said:

You are very well loved and well thought of Jib. You really are! 

Honestly, this trip really showed me that. So many people were excited and happy for me! 

[mylolita]

7 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Honestly, this trip really showed me that. So many people were excited and happy for me! 

You deserve it! I wish I worked in an office with you! (Woah, THAT sounds creepy - ha!!)

 

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