Thoughts, Rants, and Musings

[Jibralta]

Over the last 10-15 years, I've noticed a sharply increasing preoccupation with Identity in or culture/society. I find this interesting.

[Jibralta]

I had a roommate in college who was quite a character. She didn't know it, though. She thought she was normal. But I thought she was a very amusing combination of naïve and bitter. Her name was Lara.

The second year we lived together, we rented off campus in a house that had been partitioned into three or four apartments. Our apartment consisted of two long rooms. The room you walked into was the kitchen and living area. The next room was the bedroom. The bathroom opened off of the bedroom. It was plenty of space, just an odd layout.

On move-in day, Lara got to the apartment before me and claimed the best bed and the best closet. I thought that was pretty rotten. I found the damned place for both of us. I set the whole thing up. It would have been nice if she'd at least given me a choice of one or the other. But she took both!

Hilarious.

I didn't make a big deal about it because we had the whole year in front of us. And I'd sort of expected her to pull a move like that anyway. I'd already known her for two years. I knew what she was like.

The bed sucked for two reasons: 1) I wanted to be near the window and I wasn't, and 2) the mattress and bedframe were completely shot. The thing sagged. The closet she left me with was very deep and about 5 feet wide. There was a rod in the back where I could hang my clothes. It was simultaneously too much space and not enough space. 

I called the landlord and asked for a new bed. I also asked him to pay for materials so that I could build some shelves in my closet. He complied. They gave me a bedframe made out of plywood. That thing was solid. Then I built a set of shelves in my closet. They turned out really nice and made my closet awesome.

My setup ended up being nicer than Lara's. Even the position of my bed turned out to be more advantageous. Lara was jealous. She actually said it wasn't fair. 

I just laughed to myself

[Jibralta]

 

[Jibralta]

I was just looking at that thread on here where the woman's husband is embarrassed that she posts about social issues on social media. It's thought provoking. I mean, I've been thinking about this issue for years now. The Great Opinion Explosion is not just a social media phenomenon; it's rooted in the manufactured consent of the mass media machine and the internet at large. 

I'm hoping Noam Chomsky has all of this covered because it's important. And I haven't ever really sat down with a piece of paper and a pen to examine the issue from its multiple angles. I mean, who has time for that anymore? I'm too busy zoning out in front of the internet, getting fired up by people's stupid opinions lol.

Every time I start to think of today's state of affairs, I remember a post-it pad that someone got for me when I was a kid of about 10 years old. I still have it! It's one of my favorite post-it pads to this day, and I'll probably never use all of the paper. The pad is a dusky green color and has a drawing of a frumpy, grumpy cat on it. It says, "Everyone's entitled to my opinion." 

It looked a lot like this, actually. Just a different background color and different text style:

It's a play on the saying, "I'm entitled to my own opinion," which is what you say (sometimes just to yourself) when you quietly back out of an argument. My 10-year old self thought "everyone's entitled to my opinion" was such an awesomely funny absurdity. Little did I know that many years later, this 'absurdity' would no longer be an absurdity but a reality!

The concept of having one's own opinion, and the quiet art of disagreement, seem to have been lost to humankind. Does anyone even remember the original saying anymore?

A pity, there's no great social value in opinions. They're opinions. A possible starting point for critical thinking, but not a guarantee of critical thinking. And certainly not evidence of critical thinking. 

This brings to mind another truism, "Opinions are like asshles: Everyone has one."

Or better yet, my own personal version of that saying: "Opinions are like asshles. And you are one."

😂

[Batya33]

A few years ago was the first time I heard a new friend refer to FB where she expresses her opinions as you describe above (I never do that.  Ever. for the reasons you wrote too and I love Sandra Boynton btw!) - she said "but this is my platform" -she'd apologized in a social media post for being "silent" about a me too kind of issue I think it was -or perhaps a racial issue

And I asked her -what in the world is wrong with not posting publicly about this issue -doesn't make you silent -if you care and want change then discuss with people, perhaps look into helping through volunteer work or join a rally/help with a rally, etc -she said "but it's my platform" -but how come an ordinary person needs a platform let alone social media such that if you don't post you're being "silent?"

I can see a politician or even a religious leader having a "platform" that people rely on to hear her views but..... anyway thanks.  I agree.

Love your phrase Great Opinion Explosion!

[Jibralta]

21 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

she'd apologized in a social media post for being "silent"

Yes! I just find that very bizarre.

I think that people have started to believe that blabber equates to action. Or that voicing their opinion is actual Dialog. 

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Yes! I just find that very bizarre.

I think that people have started to believe that blabber equates to action. Or that voicing their opinion is actual Dialog. 

Yes!!! She was flabbergasted that I asked her why she "apologized" for her silence.  But it's related to that other lovely penchant for posting those "say this instead of that" when it comes to how to address sensitive issues. Some are "helpful" most come across as controlling/thought police stuff.

[Jibralta]

 

[Jibralta]

On 3/23/2023 at 6:44 AM, Batya33 said:

I love Sandra Boynton btw!

I never knew her full name! I just saw the last name scrawled.... now I have someone to google!

On 3/23/2023 at 7:10 AM, Batya33 said:

"say this instead of that" when it comes to how to address sensitive issues.

Thank god I don't know what this is! Sounds exactly like thought policing. Ugh.

[Jibralta]

It seems like there is an increase of AI posts on this forum lately. They are so bland. 

[itsallgrand]

50 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

It seems like there is an increase of AI posts on this forum lately. They are so bland. 

Thats the nice way of saying it! 🙂

[Jibralta]

Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of me contacting my birth mother. So much has happened in this year!

[Jibralta]

This song is such a guilty pleasure.

I first heard it when I was 14 or 15, on the local heavy metal station, WSOU. Somehow, this little band got Orson Welles to speak the intro. And what an intro. What a voice. It's just so epic.

 

[Jibralta]

Yesterday, I had this flash of memory from back when I was 16 or 17: I was walking back to my seat in history class when this guy I had a HUGE crush on said, "Pssst," to get my attention.

I looked up and he pointed to my shoe--there was a strip of toilet paper stuck to it!

I waved thanks and pulled it off with my foot.

Once back at my seat, I looked back at him and he mouthed, "At least it wasn't stuck in your pants!" I smiled and nodded in agreement, then turned back to my notebook, elated.

I wasn't embarrassed at all. Truth be told, I would have covered myself in strips toilet paper if it meant that he and I could banter back and forth some more. 

I used to have the most intense crushes on people. In retrospect, I think I was addicted to having a crush. 

When this Fergie song came out in 2006, I completely related to it. I was practically 30 and still in love with being 'in love.' But within a few years, I did finally grow tired of that roller coaster (or maybe 'merry-go-round' is a more apt description!).

 

 

[Batya33]

You reminded me of such an embarrassing moment. I was in the thick of early interview week in grad school - we were all in one building milling around to go to our interview rooms -tensions high.  This classmate stopped to chat with me -we were standing near each other -I wouldn't say I had an intense crush on him but certainly had noticed him (yes I was single -assumed he was as well).  He said something flirtatious to me -not sexual but very obvious to me anyway so I responded with a flirtatious comment. 

That's when his girlfriend showed up -a classmate I didn't know.  i had no clue they were an item or dating.  She'd heard what he said as she seemed annoyed with him.  I was so embarrassed to have misinterpreted (or did I?). He was also -to me -at my age- mid 20s -out of my league. Ugh (no they didn't end up together far as I can tell and we had no further contact.  Even now it's cringeworthy 30 years later....

[Jibralta]

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Even now it's cringeworthy 30 years later....

Oh, I have those kinds of memories too.... 😅

Well, maybe you did her a favor!

[Jibralta]

Just now, Jibralta said:

Well, maybe you did her a favor!

Actually, even if you totally misinterpreted the situation and inadvertently hit on an innocent man, he probably doesn't remember it as unpleasant. I mean, maybe you did blow up his relationship (haha), but the flirtation is probably a pleasant memory for him (unless you were creepy about liking him, which I highly doubt!)

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

Actually, even if you totally misinterpreted the situation and inadvertently hit on an innocent man, he probably doesn't remember it as unpleasant. I mean, maybe you did blow up his relationship (haha), but the flirtation is probably a pleasant memory for him (unless you were creepy about liking him, which I highly doubt!)

So it's weird -she looked annoyed with him as in she also thought he was too flirtatious with me.  I was definitely not creepy -I just reacted assuming he was flirting with me and flirted -low level flirting -back of course.  I googled her -I don't think she ever married him.

[Jibralta]

37 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I was definitely not creepy -I just reacted assuming he was flirting with me and flirted -low level flirting -back of course.

It's probably a fond memory for him, then. Even if his girlfriend wasn't too thrilled about it.

[Jibralta]

Speaking of the kind of memories that can be cringeworthy for one person but not for the other person:

I remember a situation from when I was 17 or 18 that had to have resulted in embarrassment for the guy involved. But it had the opposite effect on me. 

The guy's name was George. I hardly knew him--he was friends with the older brother of one of my friends. I'd hung out with him a couple of times, but always with a lot of other people. I honestly don't think we ever exchanged two words between us. I didn't think he even knew that I was alive. 

At the time, I was dating a guy named Steve.* One day, Steve and I were in my mom's basement when the doorbell rang. I heard my mom say, "She's downstairs." And down the stairs came George! When he saw me and Steve sitting on the couch, he was totally surprised. I was surprised. Steve was surprised. I said, "Hi George," and tried to make him feel welcome, but he apologized and left. 

I don't think I ever saw George after that. Like, never. I'm guessing he showed up at my house like that because he liked me. I don't know what he had in mind. Maybe he was going to ask me out? I wished that he did, even as I was sitting on the couch with Steve lol. I was just so impressed by his boldness.

I can only imagine that that was pretty embarrassing for George. If I were in his shoes I would have been completely mortified. For him, this is a memory that he'd probably rather forget--perhaps he's managed to! But for me, it's a good memory. I cringe a little for him, out of sympathy. But I give him a lot of credit even to this day. He has no idea, of course 😄

_____________________

*Speaking of that thread about attraction and chemistry vs healthy relationship and self-awareness: Steve was someone I dated purely for looks! He was nice enough, but we had nothing in common. Needless to say, that relationship did not last terribly long.

[Batya33]

Oh! I have a story your story reminded me of! And that was some story btw with George showing up.

Freshman year of college. Lived in a suite.  We had actual message boards on the door - this was the 1980s.  You left a note that way like "stopped by at 3pm" or some such.  I went to a party.  I met a guy -let's call him George LOL.  He was a football player and hot.  He told me where his dorm was (huge college and he lived across campus).  Nothing happened- I mean we chatted, flirted some, he knew my name and my dorm too.  All good.

Next day my roommate says "George stopped by to see you."  Back story - roommate really disliked me and I didn't know why.  She was a sulky, morose, to herself type.  Anyway I was SO excited -I said "he did??" And I even think he wrote on our door board "stopped by" -and his name.  I mean -like wow!! So Morose Roomie says "um.... I don't think it was the guy you were talking to last night."  But I mean she was so sulky and what would she know??

I go across campus.  To George's room.  He's there, shirtless. He smiles and we chat some.  Then I say something about how he'd stopped by and he says ..... no, he didn't.  (Understand he did not make a move on me or anything -completely appropriate just chatting).  He looked confused. 

I wanted to disappear into the floor.  Because right then I remembered- my parents had good friends -for many years.  Who had a son named George. Who went to the same college and was a year older than me so he'd offered to look out for me/show me around and..... he'd stopped by to see how my first weeks were going.  Not Hot George.

Somehow I slunk out with a small smile .... and eventually went to see Family Friend George.

 

[Jibralta]

I texted my sister (adoptive) and my half sister "Sibling Day" greetings. I'm not big on this holiday or anything. I just noticed it was today and fired some texts away. 

I told Arnold as I was texting. He said, "And you have some siblings." I stared blankly at him for a second, because he has four half siblings of various combinations and three step siblings. I wondered why would he say that I have siblings--with emphasis!--when I have 1/4 the number of his siblings?

I was like, "Yeah, I guess..." and named my sister and half sister, still vaguely bemused.

Then he said, "You have those three Lastname siblings that don't acknowledge your existence."  I was legitimately puzzled for a second, and then my biological father's last name registered. 

I was like, "Oh yeah... Those asshles. I forgot all about them! Wow, that's how much I don't care about them. I don't even think of them when I think of siblings. Ha!"

This is something that I've thought about a lot: I don't care. Yes, I think about them from time to time. I think about the situation. I have opinions about the situation. But other than that, I don't really care.

I can't really complain.

[Jibralta]

For the last five or six years or so, I've been getting text messages directed towards an individual named Gerald. 

"Gerald, you've won a Starbuck's gift card."

"Gerald, we have a great deal on CBT oil."

"Gerald, click here for your Walmart gift card."

Etc.

I figured Gerald uses my number when he doesn't feel like giving out his own number. That bastard.

I used to do that all the time when stores would ask me for my phone number. Nine out of ten digits were correct. I just changed the last number to a six.

So, while I silently cursed Gerald and shook my metaphoric fist at him, I also respected the irony of the situation. Karma's is a btch, afterall.

The other day, I got a text from someone inquiring after Gerald's property at 123 FakeStreetName. I googled the address and found out exactly who this Gerald is. And then I found out that he died last December.

Poor guy.

These text messages are going to be extra awkward going forward.

[Batya33]

Kind of related -did you hear about that poor guy who's address somehow showed up as a default address on a "find my phone" type app so people kept showing up at his house all hours thinking their phone was there? OMG.

[Jibralta]

4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Kind of related -did you hear about that poor guy who's address somehow showed up as a default address on a "find my phone" type app so people kept showing up at his house all hours thinking their phone was there? OMG.

No! Jeez....