BelliniBella Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 Allright. For those who read my comments about my past relationship with my italian bf (35). I was thinking whats wrong with you people. I was blackmailed for intimate photos from a some guy... and you were telling me I was cheating on my boyfriend. (cheating??) At the beginning I was thinking, how could I possibly cheat..I never slept w the guy nor planned to. I did mistake with sharing way too much, I got it... But cheating, that sounded strong word to me. I basically could not admit that, bc what I shared with him,I would share with my friends (except some things ehm). I spent time thinking about my actions and I realized I have to become honest at least with myself,why I did what I did at first and what provocated my actions. I knew that guy for 10 years, and when you know someone for so long, you already built good conversation, and sence how to interact with each other. So when my ex cheated on me (rumors, and no, he did not have balls to admit it, but it doesnt mean it did not happen and didnt hurt me), i still accepted it and somehow continued.I admit, there was something from this guy, I could not get from my bf when this bs started. I could not imagine telling him: "Honey, even u dont admit it,I know u cheated, and it makes me feel insecure and lost.. Can you support me emotionally, so I have more control in our relationship?". Yep, sure. I needed to gain control, respect, the right boundaries and distinguish manipulation, that i might not always recognize. and I really didnt want do that at that time,with my bf knowing/helping me. after the cheating story, I didnt trust him and i felt weak.I felt afraid he will advantage of me and will walk on my back.I needed to find my ground and know that the relationship is safe. (so did I) I was afraid to do it "rightly" alone, bc I already had one controlling relationship. And even thought the blackmail, the guy helped me to realize many things, I gained control, stability and so on.Except, ... I later realized what the heck I had signed to. Now, I had to admit myself, that yes, I was emotionally unfaitful whether there was blackmail or not. I realized, after my bf cheated (whether he admit it or not), I should listen my gut and leave. Or if accepting what he had done, than I should not have turn to some friend to support me, at least not with such expectations. I am wondering... If there is something,I should be more aware I didnt mention. Some help would be appreciated. How would you alone handle, if you would be cheated on in marriage? Would you be rather he/she confessed the cheating or not? I personally prefered he doesnt confessed at first, bc there was hope I wanted to see. But that hope does not work in long run (as you can see here- what goes around, comes around. It pretty returned him as well..) So right now, I probably would be happier, if he would confess me years ago and be able to take responsibility for his actions. To show me respect, and also to himself. I would feel, that my feelings of being cheated are validated and took seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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