blondiemwuah Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 It's not that I don't have other options, because I do. I know it's wrong but I'm always more drawn towards guys who aren't that nice and kind of leave me hanging. I'm just pissed because I've avoided making plans with other guys this weekend because I've been holding out hope that this guy will contact me. Link to comment
blondiemwuah Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 I want to see him, even if it's just for sex I guess, because he's ridiculously attractive. But now after reading these responses I feel like it's a game and he's the one winning - which bothers me. I want to see him but not if he thinks all these things about me that you guys are suggesting he does. I'm okay with him wanting to see me because I'm attractive and he wants to have sex, because I feel the same about him. But I'm not okay with him thinking that I'll be an easy lay because I'm unstable and have low self esteem. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 It's not that I don't have other options, because I do. I know it's wrong but I'm always more drawn towards guys who aren't that nice and kind of leave me hanging. I'm just pissed because I've avoided making plans with other guys this weekend because I've been holding out hope that this guy will contact me. Then you need to figure out your self worth instead of trying to figure out how to hook him. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I want to see him, even if it's just for sex I guess, because he's ridiculously attractive. But now after reading these responses I feel like it's a game and he's the one winning - which bothers me. I want to see him but not if he thinks all these things about me that you guys are suggesting he does. I'm okay with him wanting to see me because I'm attractive and he wants to have sex, because I feel the same about him. But I'm not okay with him thinking that I'll be an easy lay because I'm unstable and have low self esteem. Again, you can't really control what he thinks. You can only control what you do. He's made it clear he thinks you're a mess. It is what it is. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 I know it's wrong but I'm always more drawn towards guys who aren't that nice and kind of leave me hanging. I'm just pissed because I've avoided making plans with other guys this weekend because I've been holding out hope that this guy will contact me. This is the moment you step back and try to learn something from this situation. Chasing after people who have discarded you is a cry for help. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 But I'm not okay with him thinking that I'll be an easy lay because I'm unstable and have low self esteem. That is exactly what he thinks. He thinks you are desperate, and above all, an emotional mess. He could also fear based on the crying bit that you could turn on him and become a stalker. Link to comment
blondiemwuah Posted March 31, 2017 Author Share Posted March 31, 2017 That is exactly what he thinks. He thinks you are desperate, and above all, an emotional mess. He could also fear based on the crying bit that you could turn on him and become a stalker. He definitely thinks I'm an emotional mess. But I know he doesn't think I'm desperate. He knows other guys are interested in me. We've been together to bars and he's been with me at clubs. He's not blind. He's also made comments asking how many guys I've met since being here and blah blah blah. I also don't think he thinks I would turn into a stalker. I've hardly ever messaged him without him initiating it. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 So what happens now. How is this moving forward. Has he called you in the last 2 days? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 But I'm not okay with him thinking that I'll be an easy lay because I'm unstable and have low self esteem. That's exactly what he does think. Prove him wrong. Show him you are more than that. Problem is: will you? Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 He definitely thinks I'm an emotional mess. But I know he doesn't think I'm desperate. He knows other guys are interested in me. We've been together to bars and he's been with me at clubs. He's not blind. He's also made comments asking how many guys I've met since being here and blah blah blah. I also don't think he thinks I would turn into a stalker. I've hardly ever messaged him without him initiating it. I bet you're putting more thought into this than he is. I doubt he's evaluating your character beyond "I think I can sleep with her." Link to comment
abitbroken Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 He definitely thinks I'm an emotional mess. But I know he doesn't think I'm desperate. He knows other guys are interested in me. We've been together to bars and he's been with me at clubs. He's not blind. He's also made comments asking how many guys I've met since being here and blah blah blah. I also don't think he thinks I would turn into a stalker. I've hardly ever messaged him without him initiating it. But you *are* coming off as desperate if other guys are interested and yet you are going after the one that has ALREADY told you that you are a nightmare. You are very interested in sex with him, as you admit. As far as stalking, I don't think he thinks you will do so now, but once you have sex and all the lovely bonding hormones occur and he rejects you, you might try to hang on to him. Or you might get "triggered" again and act a little nuts. Who knows. But either way, it defies logic to pursue him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 You're worried about how he'll behave after you two have sex. That right there indicates you are not looking for a sex-only arrangement, but that you are hoping he wants to date you, maybe be your boyfriend. And no, he's not "attracted" to you. No man calls a woman he's "attracted" to a nightmare. He is, apparently, OK with having sex with you. But that's it. No "behaving" a certain way after sex, just sex. Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 The title of this post is priceless. Link to comment
blondiemwuah Posted April 1, 2017 Author Share Posted April 1, 2017 But you *are* coming off as desperate if other guys are interested and yet you are going after the one that has ALREADY told you that you are a nightmare. You are very interested in sex with him, as you admit. As far as stalking, I don't think he thinks you will do so now, but once you have sex and all the lovely bonding hormones occur and he rejects you, you might try to hang on to him. Or you might get "triggered" again and act a little nuts. Who knows. But either way, it defies logic to pursue him. I never said that I was "triggered" so there's no point in saying that. I wasn't "acting a little nuts" either. Making out with him in his car reminded me of when my friend's dad used to molest me in his car when I was 15. It's not like I wanted to start crying nor did I have any control over it. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 It's not like I wanted to start crying nor did I have any control over it. That's what "triggered" means. Sorry you had to endure such a horrible experience. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 So you haven't heard from him? I asked you yesterday remember! Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 My question is why is he messaging me again? And how do I act after royally ******* up so many times? Should I act like nothing happened or should I maybe make a light joke about it? You did the right thing by acting like you didn't care to see him that weekend (even if it wasn't an "act" and you really couldn't see him). Its best you did get re-involved with a 30 year old that plays drinking games with you and then chastises you for drinking too much. He doesn't have your best interests at heart to be sure. Please, if you haven't gotten therapy to help you come to terms with what your step father did, then please consider it so that you're not triggered again during intimate moments. I doubt you want to be triggered when you are in a solid relationship with a good guy that actually DOES have your best interests in mind. (haven't read all of the posts as coming in late so pardon if this has already been mentioned.) Link to comment
blondiemwuah Posted April 1, 2017 Author Share Posted April 1, 2017 So you haven't heard from him? I asked you yesterday remember! Nope he hasn't Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 Well you should make plans to go out tonight, and have some fun. It's his loss that he couldn't follow up his own invite. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 Nope he hasn't Be glad he hasn't followed up on his own invite. He's not looking out for your emotional best interests in the least. If he cared for you then he wouldn't have gone missing in action like he has/did. Link to comment
blondiemwuah Posted April 2, 2017 Author Share Posted April 2, 2017 Well you should make plans to go out tonight, and have some fun. It's his loss that he couldn't follow up his own invite. He just messaged me saying "hello maddieee". It's 4 in the afternoon here... I'm debating what I should do. Link to comment
nsolo Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Just whatever you do, don't vom on his floor again. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 He just messaged me saying "hello maddieee". It's 4 in the afternoon here... I'm debating what I should do. If you're down for some casual (safe) sex, then message him back. Just remember...if you're concerned about how he'll act toward you afterward, you are NOT down for casual sex! Link to comment
eldasensei Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 He's looking for hookups, not a relationship. Why not find someone your own age to date and stop getting so drunk and out of control. This x100000 Link to comment
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