Boyfriend stressing..

[iamme97]

My boyfriend (24) and I (19) have been dating for 2 months and it's been amazing but he also suffers from schizophrenia & hasn't been taking his medicine. Also he's been depressed because he might lose full rights of his two kids and I feel like he's been distancing from me although he says he hasn't but I feel it. Maybe I'm too young for him to understand what's going with him. I really don't know how to help him cope through this distraught time for him.

[Wiseman2]

2 months and this is way too much way too soon. You should be enjoying having fun dating not worrying about serious untreated mental illness or a guy who has two kids.

 

Pull back completely. He needs a psychiatrist and a lawyer not a relationship. Talk to your parents or another trusted adult about this. How did you meet?

My boyfriend (24) and I (19) have been dating for 2 months and he also suffers from schizophrenia & hasn't been taking his medicine. Also he's been depressed because he might lose full rights of his two kids.

[gebaird]

It sounds like he's dealing with some pretty tough stuff. Support him as well as you can, but definitely continue to express your concerns (not in a nagging way, but in a "here's how I'm feeling" way).

[Seraphim]

Not taking his meds will pretty much guarantee he loses those kids.

 

This is too much for a 2 month relationship.

[SooSad33]

Schizo and not staying on his meds? Trouble.

 

This kind of thing, you, especially at this age do NOT need! Someone like this should always remain on their med's on order to function/cope.

 

Maybe research these mental illness.

 

And I suggest BEFORE you get in too deep, to re-consider gettin too deep in this.

 

You're so young..... keep going. Enjoy your friends/family/ hobbies, etc. You don't want to be brought down by this challenging illness.. Especially if they are rejecting their meds!

[nutbrownhare]

Meds apart, everyone with schizoid conditions - all the way from people with schizophrenia to those who merely have schizoid issues as part of their character structure - will have problems consistently connecting to other people, and will be distant at times. It just goes with the territory. You are correct when you say he's been distancing himself, and he's sincere when he says he hasn't, because as far as he's concerned - he really hasn't. It's a fundamental part of who he is.

 

You are way, way out of your depth here. Even mental health professionals will not be able to help people with schizophrenia unless they take their meds. You're concerned that you may be too young to understand what's going on for him, but this really isn't any kind of shortcoming on your part; it's more that you're bringing to bear an approach which would be appropriate for the vast majority of people, and it won't fit for him.

 

All you can do is encourage him to take his medication and, if he won't, you really need to ask yourself if you can cope in this relationship. I used to work on an acute mental health ward, and a lot of the time I felt as concerned for the families of the patients as I did for the patients themselves. It's a very rough ride.

[limichelle]

My ex and I split because he stopped taking medication for his Schizophrenia! He lost complete touch with reality and won't ever be the same. Please see this as a warning. I'm schizoaffective and on medication. The only reason I could understand my ex for the last three years of a decade long relationship is because I could relate better then anyone. He was still too far for me to even grasp!!!

 

I say cut ties with him.

 

Lisa

[iamme97]

He told me he was going to refill his medicine but he has to talk about making an appointment.

I see now problem with him being off his medicine and that he knows how to deal with his problems in a calm manner.

[Dahl]

This is not a relationship problem and you will not be able to fix it. This is a serious medical situation that requires a serious medical treatment / response.

 

Please protect do not make this even more difficult for this man by making it a to-do tick-off for either of you. You cannot overcome this on your own nor on your own behalf. You may interfere with his seeking and receiving appropriate and actual aid by viewing this as a relationship conflict for you to repair.

 

Good luck.

[limichelle]

He told me he was going to refill his medicine but he has to talk about making an appointment.

I see now problem with him being off his medicine and that he knows how to deal with his problems in a calm manner.

 

 

If he recently came off his medication he is feeling a false euphoria that lasts for a couple weeks. This is why he is calm. Just wait for after the high he comes off of and you see the irritable or paranoid side. He shouldn't have his children not because he is a bad father but because people with his condition can hardly take care of themselves nor have insight. This is why he came off his medication, lack of insight!

 

You can't help him and this will only get worse. Take it from me. I differ then most people with my illness, I can have and sustain interpersonal relationships because my illness doesn't affect that part of my life. Even though I still need someone patient and willing to learn more about me. I'm low key to handle.

 

Most people with my illness and his cannot function in relationships because they lack that part of tolerance or stability.

 

This guy I wish I could say he is relationship material but he came off his medication and to me that's a sign of self instability. If he goes back on medication he will come off again.

 

 

Lisa

[Seraphim]

My son is 19. If he became involved with some with a serious mental illness that was not medicated I would tell him to run far and fast. I understand mental illness, I do. My dad is severely bipolar, I have PTSD and panic disorder. My husband has GAD and OCD. I GET IT.

 

But if someone doesn't want to take their meds or get treatment RUN LIKE HELL.

[Capricorn3]

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